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Hospice Jokes

I went to a flower shop on my way to the hospice and asked for a dozen roses...

"I'm sorry sir, " said the florist, "I only have some with a couple of days life left in them. "

"No problem, " I replied, "that's more than enough. "

The national bird of prey hospice had their annual play shut down by the authorities.

Apparently it was an ill-eagle act.

We found out our child is allergic to cats

We’ve sent it to a hospice and we will try to get another one.

After all, not every child will be allergic.

Why does the ocean roar?

If you had crabs all over your bottom, you'd roar too.

A patient of mine told me this joke today... gotta love working in hospice ☺️

A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi...

are called to the hospice of a terminal millionaire. The millionaire gives each of them $100,000 with the instructions that when he dies he wants them all to bury him with the money. A few weeks later he dies and the Priest, Minster, and Rabbi all throw an envelope into his casket. After the funer...

My Grandfather really liked Fall Out Boy

I never understood why, considering the age gap between him and the band. Every week, I’d go sit with him on his porch and we’d listen to the band, jamming out to some sick tunes and laughing our hearts out at each other’s awful singing. Unfortunately as time passed, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’...

Letter to a madman

Inside a hospice, a madman approaches the others with a blank paper, examining it with attention. The other crazy people can not resist curiosity and ask:

_ What is it?

The crazy one with the letter, responds

_ A letter from my brother

Even for the other crazy people, tha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The nun's hospital tour

A nun who works in a hospice is being shown around a nearby hospital as part of a tour. The doctor is bringing her through a ward of patients when she suddenly sees a man furiously jerking off in his bed. The doctor steers her away from this scene and says "I'm sorry you had to see that sister, but ...

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