What do you call a wizard from Uganda?

a uGandalf

How do you start a rave in Uganda ?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

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The Octopus Joke Retold

So this guy walks into a bar with an Octopus. He is named the Amazing Octodad, seriously it's on his T-shirt. He heads to the bar, gets a beer and waits for the music to stop. A cute blonde gives a weird wtf look when a tentacle starts wriggling over to tickle her leg but Octodad just winks and says...

The french minister of transport receive his counterpart from Uganda ...

After the offical things, he invite him to his place, outside of Paris. The Ugandan minister is astonished, as the place is a well restored and luxurious XVI century castle. He then ask :

- But, how did you pay for that ? I thought you came from a poor family.

- Come at the window, sa...

Robbing a bank in Greece is like raiding a food warehouse in Uganda.

You look stupid and you get nothing out of it.

I accidentally stepped on an African man's foot today.

He shrugged and said "hey man, what Uganda do about it?".

He laughed, I laughed, good times, good times.

Bush, Marcos, and Idi Amin all died and went to hell.

While in hell, they saw a red phone and asked what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Marcos ask to call Manila and talks for 5 minutes.
When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost of calling to Earth is a million dollars, so Marco...

A young man becomes a born again Christian after reading a religious flyer at his college.

He doesn’t initially tell his girlfriend, justifying the embarrassment as natural to any young infant in the faith. But in the following weeks his commitment escalates dramatically, and he takes up a position as a Christian missionary to Uganda.
One day the dreaded phone call wakes him up. Ob...

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In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves

In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves, so they took it out to different countries for a test. In USA, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves,
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves,
Spain in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves :
Nigeria in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves, ...

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A 20 year old man visited his 100 year old grandmother

The 20 year old asked what was her secret to living so long.
His grandmother replied, "I will tell you if you do one thing for me, tell me how grains of sand on every beach in the entire world!"
The 20 year old planning to travel the world took this challenge and set off counting every grain ...

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