UPJOKE
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A frog mother takes her children to register for a Polish daycare...

The man at the door says that he can not allow her child to register for the day care without the proper identifcation. "You see this is a Polish daycare only for the slavic people we do not let anyone in if they do not have any Polish blood in them."
The mother unsure of her ancenstry leaves det...

What is the worst part about having to go to a daycare as a police officer

There is always at least one kid napping and a bunch resisting a rest

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man saw an ad in the newspaper for a free talking dog...

He thought it was impossible, so he went to the address to check it out.
Standing at the fence to the backyard of the house was a normal-looking German Shepherd.

The man, wanting to prove the ad wrong asked the dog, "so are you the talking dog?"

Surprisingly, the dog replied, "yeah...

Why is it that your dogs have to be vaccinated to go to the park and daycare, but your kids donโ€™t have to be?

Because itโ€™s sad when a dog dies.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

You know the difference between a daycare and a stripclub?

If you dont you're a sick motherfucker

Police were called to my kids daycare today.

Apparently after lunch break several children were resisting a rest.

Are you good with kids?

Cause I'm about to turn your mouth into a daycare.

I donated some old board games to my local daycare.

Hope those kids like Ouija Boards...

The daycare turned down my job application.

Probably because I described myself as "a touchy-feely kind of guy"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Daycare is a lot like a frat house...

There's kids passed out in their clothes everywhere, it smells like piss and vomit, there's kids with magic marker all over their faces, and the girls walk around lifting their shirts up.

Picked my son up from his first day of daycare.

Looked like a great place. Tons of cool toys. One corner of the room was full of blocks, one corner had a huge ball pit, another corner was a reading nook with little-kid type books. I got there just as they were cleaning the room up, and there were these huge foam ABCs all over the floor. I watched...

Why do Mormon women stop having children at 30?

Because 31 or more is where daycare fees admittedly start becoming excessive.

We have your Child!

A parent receives this text, "We have your child".
He panics and replies, "What are your demands. We will do anything. Please don't hurt our child"
He receives a reply, "Are you out of your mind? The daycare is closing soon. Come and get him now!"

A wife tells her husband, "Remember to pick the kid up at 5."

"OK," says the husband.

[later]

The husband dropped off their 3-year-old son off at daycare: "See ya in 2 years, bud."

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A Slight Misunderstanding

I was picking up my 4 year old son, James, from daycare but he was late out. I saw his classmate Sophie standing with her mother and thought I would ask her how long he would be.
As I said her name she looked at me, teary eyed. I asked "What's wrong?" She replied "My Mommy is selling my pussy be...

Every day I'm surrounded by broken condoms.

Running a daycare center is tough.

What do you call playing Fortnite during the day?

Daycare.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Having sex at work is alright

As long as you don't work at a daycare

My father always tells me to work hard,

But last time I did that I got fired from the daycare.

Trump is so good at creating jobs

Heโ€™s even creating daycare jobs down at the border

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