UPJOKE
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Why did the condom hit the roof?

It was pissed off.

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Shaggy dog story…

Rudolf, the high ranking communist and his wife are asleep in their dacha outside Moscow. A noise on roof wakes her up. Wife says ‘there’s something moving around on our roof. I heard a plop then a clink‘.

Rudolf says ‘don’t worry dear, it’s just the first large raindrops’. Wife mumbles uncon...

Apprehended

A mild-mannered man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating wom...

I switched my girlfriend’s bed with a trampoline.

She really hit the roof.

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I read in the school newsletter today that there were kids in the school toilet block up the wall to see how high they could reach

Anyway, apparently the school principal heard about this and was fuming, so he stormed over to the toilets and hit the roof!

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A school boy was in the toilets with his best mate seeing who could piss the highest up the wall when the teacher walked in...

She hit the roof!
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