How much TNT does it take to blow up a country?

I don’t know, but the answer would probably blow your mind

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These three drunk guys decide to go to the brothel. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms

These three drunk guys decide to go to the brothel. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out. The guys are so drunk the won't know the difference.

30 minutes later the fellas are back out on the street. The first dru...

Did you hear about the Trump terrorist who tried to blow up a car?

He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe.

My blow up doll is ugly as sin

But she always manages to take my breath away

I was going to open a business renting out blow up bouncy castles...

I was going to open a business renting out blow up bouncy castles, but I've heard that the IRS doesn't like it when you inflate your assets.

What did the English use to blow up their enemies ?

Tea N Tea.

I took my blow up doll back to the shop, and said

"I only had this blown up for half an hour and it went down on me!"

The guy was most unsympathetic and said that if he'd known that, he'd have charged me an extra $30.

How do you blow up a dinosaur?

With Dinomite.

I just tried to blow up the town hall in Helsinki and i was caught

Im Finnished now

What is the difference between a normal blow up doll and an Arabian blow up doll?

Arabian ones blow themselves up.

Why did the terrorist blow up the winery?

Because it was full of Zinfandels.

What happened to the Blonde who tried to blow up a School Bus?

She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone?

Put it into airplane mode.

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I bought a lifelike blow up sex doll, it was so realistic it was like the real thing, I got carried away and gave it a love bite.

It farted and went down on me.

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My mate went to Holland and bought me back a life size blow up dolly that gives blow jobs. I thought that's nice.

Two Lips from Amsterdam.

What do you get if you blow up a monkey?

Rhesus Pieces.

Who would blow up Jurassic Park? Really?

A dino might.

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10 ISIS suicide bombers decided to blow up a building

"We must pick a building that will have a mass effect on western culture" the leader says. So they research all the popular websites they can find and have decided on the reddit headquarters.

"YES!!" Another exclaimed! "We can not only dismantle their social construct but we can all attack ...

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

How many Nascar drivers does it take to blow up a jet dryer?

Just Juan

My friend said he wondered what it's like to blow up...

So I handed him explosives and said "Here, go C4 yourself."

Why do blow up dolls cost so damn much?

Inflation.

How come no one tries to blow up the Pope?

I thought he was inflatable.

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How do you blow up an Indian ?

Press the red button on their forehead.

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell.

Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to He...

Why did the Spanish train aficionado blow up his trains?

He had loco motives.

I got a blow up doll, that was Made in Baghdad

Problem is... it blew itself up

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A good percentage of my friends are Nazis

That percentage is zero, that’s a good percentage of Nazi friends to have

Edit: Holy SHIT I did not expect this to blow up lmfao thank you for the awards!
and fuck da haterz

I don’t like over confident people

Edit: Thanks for the silver!

Edit2: thanks for the gold!

Edit3: thanks for the platinum!

Edit4: thanks guys! I never expected this post to blow up like it did!!

Edit5: thanks for the argentinium!

A traffic cop pulls over a guy for speeding.

As he approaches the car dorr he asks the driver for his license and the cars papers. The driver awnsers: i dont got a license and the car is stolen.
The cop was baffled and uttered: are you serious?! The driver awnsers: i'm always serious after a few lines of blow up my nose dude...
The cop:...

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There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into sex.

He was a hardworking guy but still managed to satisfy his wife's needs.

One time he had to leave for another country for a business meet. He would've been gone for a week.
He knew his wife's sex drive and didn't want to take risks so he thought he should gift her something so she can sat...

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple.

"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.

"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up.

"Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?"

The bartender tells him, "Turn it arou...

A guy walks into an adult toy store.

He walks up to the clerk and says, I'd like to buy a blow up doll." The clerk asks, "Male or female?" "Female." "Black or white" "White." "Christian or Muslim?" Curious, the guy says, "Muslim." "Regular or radicalized extremist?" The clerk asks. "What's the difference?" the guy says. "The radicali...

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All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Edit: alot of people moaning in the comments "this is a stupid joke, Trump did actually write some books so this makes no sense!?".

Look at the sub you are in, some of these posts you'll see will just be jokes. If you are the sn...

What does an experimental bomb maker who is a redditor say after his bomb works?

I didn't expect this to blow up!

My first attempt at writing a joke, please take it easy on me.

A man walks into a candy shop, as he is perusing around the shop he notices the shopkeep waving him over to the counter. Not sure what he is really looking for he makes his way over to the counter to see if the shopkeep can be of any assistance.

Man: I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, n...

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Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

You have to be alive to have autism.

American/Russian dog fight

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the...

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Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.

Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his country's militaristic superiority.

"Folks, I can tell you, our Navy submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can remain submerged from the moment they leave the port, to the day the...

What do you get when you spell "man" backwards?

Flashbacks

Can you beat my top 3 Polish jokes?

>What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

>Did you hear about the Polish carpool?

They meet at work in the morning

>Did you heal about the Polish terrorist that tried to blow up the bus?

He burnt his lips on the ...

How did Steve got his lungs injured in army?

Sergeant told him to blow up the tank.

A magician on a cruise ship

Is doing magic for a particularly rough crowd. There's a man in the audience with a parrot in his shoulder that is giving away all the tricks.

Every time he does a card trick the bird would scream," Its up his sleeve."

Every time he makes something disappear the bird would scream," s...

Wile E. Coyote's edit to his post on reddit about his plan to catch Roadrunner

"Holy cow, I did not expect for this to blow up."

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.

It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

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A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here's some shit that represents other shit.

Reform J...

What did the fence builder say when his fence fell down after driving the last pilon into an old buried hand grenade?

Wow, didn't expect this post to blow up!

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I saw a sign that made me shit myself

It said "Bathroom closed"

Andy was sent to prison

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of...

I told a joke about a fat man and a little boy once

Didn’t really expect it to blow up like it did

(Sorry if someone’s made this joke before)

Your typical rock band

In my history of Rock and Roll class, chapter 13 focused on the early rock artists post punk era. At the very beginning of the chapter the band King Crimson is briefly mentioned, they seemed to have qualities that later artist would adopt and were quite popular, with songs such as 21 century schizoi...

What did the student say to the demolition school teacher?

I didn't expect this to blow up.

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