UPJOKE
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Combust Jokes

In a scientific experiment researchers collected two containers of fart gases to study its usability as a green energy source, one from a normal person and the other from a royal family member. During the combustion tests the first one ignited really well while the other totally failed. Why ?

Because, the second one continued noble gases

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

Y'all ever just stop & think about all of the amazing, world changing, discoveries/inventions we use every day? Fire, the internet, refrigeration, the wheel, the combustion engine. My favorite invention?

The shovel. That was truly groundbreaking.

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

I once dated a girl who died because of spontaneous human combustion.

She was pretty hot.

The enthalpy change for a combustion reaction is always negative

In other words, fire is hot.

(chemistry joke, hope someone gets it...)

A 14 y/o girl decides to try drugs.

So she created a bong out of a pineapple and paper towel tube. She didn't have any cool friends with real drugs so she tried to smoke oregano, but found it hurt her throat. Next she tried black pepper in the bong but it made her sneeze. She experimented with ground Ginger but the smoke made her eyes...

How do you turn a dinosaur into a horse?

Use an internal combustion engine

Took me a month but I finally got to pull off this joke in real life

*Me and my friend had just finished watching a ton of conspiracy theory videos.*

Friend: It's crazy if some of that stuff is true. But the government is just hiding it from us.

Me: Yeah like monsters and aliens and stuff.

Friend: Yeah! And not to mention all the cool technology ...

One day there was a fire in a wastebasket in the office of the Dean of Sciences. In rushed a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician.

The physicist immediately starts to work on how much energy would have to be removed from the fire to stop the combustion.
The chemist works on which reagent would have to be added to the fire to prevent oxidation.
While they are doing this, the statistician is setting fires to all the other...

Why Germans are so good at car engine manufacturing?

Because they have a lot of experience on combustion chambers

Nothing warms my heart...

...quite like spontaneous combustion

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