Humans are scared of hippos because they are violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year

But people kill way more people per year so that’s just being hippocritical.

Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees?

Because they're really good at it.

Where do hippos go to school?

The hippocampus.

What do you call two hippos riding a bicycle?

Optimistic!



My friend had this on a joke calendar this morning. If anyone can, please explain this to us. Are we that dumb that we don't get it, or is it so obvious that we might be over thinking it?

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water.

Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

What do you call a government of hippos?

Hippocracy.

People want to help hippos and conserve them, while others dislike hippos for attacking humans.

Why are people so hippo-critical?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Plane crash survivor - in the jungle

A plane crashes in the middle of the jungle. Only one man survives. Members of a jungle tribe find the man and take him to their village. After a few weeks the survivor gets back on his feet only to realize that he is too far away to ever get back to a civilized part of the world. He starts to live ...

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

Hippos are pretty heavy, zippos are a little lighter.

How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos?

Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.

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