Hippos Jokes - 15 Hilarious Hippos Jokes

Hippos can swim and run faster than humans. What does this mean?

The bycicle is the only way to beat then in a triathlon.

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Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year...

...so that’s just being hippocritical...

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There's a statistic that says hippos kill more people every year than sharks.

Makes sense. It seems very unlikely for a hippo to find a shark in the savanah.

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I dreamt of a bunch of hippos attending university…

They’re still there in my hippocampus

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Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees?

Because they're really good at it.

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TIL, Hippos can run faster than humans on land and swimmer faster in water

But still you can defeat them in a triathlon as they don't know how to ride a bicycle

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do hippos only mate in water?

How else do you keep a 20kg clitoris wet?

What do you call a hippo that tells other hippos to not be aggressive?

A hippocrite.

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People want to help hippos and conserve them, while others dislike hippos for attacking humans.

Why are people so hippo-critical?

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What do you call two hippos riding a bicycle?

Optimistic!

My friend had this on a joke calendar this morning. If anyone can, please explain this to us. Are we that dumb that we don't get it, or is it so obvious that we might be over thinking it?

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What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippos really heavy, and a Zippos a little lighter.

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3 Hippos fall from a plane. 2 land on the beach and one lands in the water.

Ba-Dum Tsssh!

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How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos?

Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.

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What do you call a fat person who judges hippos?

Hippo-critical.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hippos, custard and tapas: the 10 funniest jokes of the Edinburgh fringe

1. Darren Walsh: I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.

2. Stewart Francis: Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West.

3. Adam Hess: Surely every car is a people carrier?

4. Masai Graham: What’s the difference between a h...

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