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Herbivore Jokes

I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants,

You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian...

it's like I've never seen herbivore.

Why are herbivores atheist?

Cuz they don’t prey

Why did the herbivores keep their young away from the t rex

Because he was a predator

How can you tell a dinosaur is an herbivore?

They will tell you within three minutes of meeting them and remind you every fifth sentence.

Last night, while watching old “Little Rascals” movies, I realized cattle aren’t herbivores, they’re omnivores.

If you give them the opportunity, they’ll eat Buckwheat and Alfalfa.

Two bulls are in a field staring at a new cow

One says to the other “I haven’t seen herbivore”

This girl said she knew me from the vegetarian restaurant...

But I've never met herbivore!

What do you call a college for semi-aquatic herbivores?

A hippocampus

A stranger just came up to me and told me she was vegan...

I swear I've met herbivore

My friend set me up on a blind date with her vegetarian friend but I’m kind of nervous...

I’ve never met herbivore.

An anthropologist visits a tribe that eats only meat...

An anthropologist visits an exclusively carnivorous tribe in previously uncharted deep-jungle territory and word gets around about this strange woman who eats plants.

M'buk says to T'gru, "Have you heard about this woman who eats *plants?*"

T'gru gets this puzzled look and says "no, I'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beaver invites Rabbit over for dinner one night

The dinner goes swimmingly well, and Rabbit is very impressed with Beaver's skill in the kitchen. Particularly with the homemade iced cream dessert that Beaver was famous for. Not really expecting much of an answer, because Beaver is ever the coy herbivore, Rabbit inquires politely, "Goodness, Beave...

Did you guys hear that you can survive just on plants?

That is something i never herbivore!

I went to my local all you can eat buffet...

and there was this girl only choosing vegetables?


I thought, I’ve never seen herbivore.

A tyrannosaurus is conversing with his friend brontosaurus. The tyrannosaurus asks, "So what would you do if your wife caught you eating meat?" The brontosaurus pondered and pondered at the unusual question. "I don't know...", he said,

"That's never happened to herbivore."

I hadn't seen my grandma for a long time, she looked so different from the last time I'd seen her. She told me that she had become a vegan for a few months now.

She had changed so much since she became a vegan. It was like I'd never seen herbivore.

My best friend told me he’s been dating a girl for a couple of months and she doesn’t eat any meat whatsoever!

I can’t believe I hadn’t heard of herbivore.

Vegans

A t-Rex met a vegan one day who claimed that she knew the Rex, but he never met herbivore.



Alright I know it’s bad, but I don’t carrot at all. I’ve bean at worse places before.


Btw I would like to state that I believe people can choose to eat whatever they want, and being a...

Long ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth,...

A young Tyrannosaurus Rex was out on the hunt when he stopped to take a drink from a nearby lake.

There, cooling off in the water, he saw the most beautiful Triceratops in all of Pangea. He asked her her name and invited her to go out hunting but she told him she wasn't really into that kind ...

Some puns

•    How does Moses make tea ?   Hebrews it. 


•    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

   
•    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. 

   
•    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now. 

   
•    I know a guy ...

A women stopped me in the coffee shop the other day claiming she met me through a vegetarian-only dating website...

but I had never met herbivore.

New lady cow shows up; bull asks, "who is that?"

His friend replies, "never seen herbivore."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A female journalist is taking a tour of a new science facility.

Scientist: Here at our lab we've been testing what would happen to GMO foods if, instead of producing foods with genes intended for fast production, we could develop GMO foods into potentially another form of species.

Journalist: That's interesting what foods have you tested this on?

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two pilots are on a routine flight.

One is a Caucasian man with over 22 years of experience as a pilot. His co-pilot is a Iranian-American man who started the job just 2 months ago. This was the first time the two have flown together, so small talk is very little.

The white guy decides to break the ice. "So, you know anything a...

Timmy Got a Job!

Timmy boy, a young hobo who left home in search for wealth, got his 14th job in the 3 months he has been traveling. His first shift at Bob’s Animal Candies Inc. started at 9 am, Tuesday. After working for hours at the breath fresheners’ line, he began to get bored, so Timmy decided to take a break t...

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