Why did people not like the new Undertale graphic novel?

It was Comic Sans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took my little sister to the cinema. Apparently the sex was too graphic.

Everyone asked us to stop.

Did you hear about the ISIS graphic designer?

He was handed some selfies and asked to blow them up.

How do you satisfy a graphic designer in the bedroom?

Bring out the GIMP

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in graphic design

I have over 300 confirmed designs and don't have a single job...

I was helping my grandpa fold some laundry yesterday and noticed something odd. On one shirt he had a silloutte of Sherlock Holmes, on another a picture of Harry Potter, on a third was printed an image of Frankenstein, and on a fourth, a girl who appeared to be Anne of Green Gables.

I asked my grandpa, "Are all these graphic shirts really yours?"

"Yes they are, " my grandpa replied sheepishly "I just can't resist buying novel tees."

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Two Italians Talking on the Bus

So I'm riding the bus the other day and I overhear two Italians talking about a pretty graphic sexual conquest. I heard,
"No Vincenzo you see i'ma gonna tell you one a more time. First I make Emma come, then I come, then we put the two asses together, I come again, we put the two asses together a...

Genesis does what Nintendon't

16-bit graphics.

blast processing.

...

...

...

Going outta business

I've gotten a Graphic Design job at a nuclear plant

The pay is not great, but they told me I'd be getting some exposure.

Recycled ones. But love them. 36 Math jokes and puns

Beginner

1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal?

Because he would have to convert.

2. Why do plants hate math?

It gives them square roots.

3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?

It was a mean thing to s...

I went outside today.

The graphics were excellent, but the storyline was terrible.

I googled Gary Oldman for some info, I was met with some heavily graphic images

My bad, I forgot the 'r'.

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...

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What does a person study to design sex toys?

Graphic design.


NB: This is the first joke I ever come up with

Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

What do graphic designers smoke up to get high?

Adobe.

So I used to date this graphic designer...

We broke up because I caught her cheating. Writing hundreds of letters to some guy named Lorem Ipsum. What a creep, right?

Apparently the iPhone 7 has console-like graphics.

Goddammit, when are they going to start to put good hardware in these phone.

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I saw a billboard on the highway recently

It featured a graphic picture of blood and semen, with the words "is this in your future?"

I thought "well that's a sign of things to cum".

How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter?

Ask them to pronounce "hires"

why should you never buy a Asian graphics card?

bad drivers.

At Heathrow Airport today...

An individual claiming to be a school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.

Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra crime syndicate and charged him with carrying weapons of math destructio...

The magician's Publicity Stunt.

I asked a magician for an \[OC\] joke to post on reddit. (Yes, I asked a magician and not a comedian, I don't know many comedians personally, sorry.)

.

Instead, I got a long winded story of his most popular magic trick. He probably made it all up, but here it is.

.

It w...

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DOOM

The police officer approaches me slowly, his hand on his pistol. “Sir, can you please come down from that tree?”

“Not a chance!”

He surveys the destruction all around us. “What happened here?”

I stare at the smoking remains of my house and mutter, “Doom.”

The Police offic...

A documentary about the history of the computer desktop was recently given an R rating...

Turns out every icon was a little graphic.

Usain Bolt is very near-sighted, almost blind

The only reason he can run so fast is because he downgraded the graphics

I could never take a job at Nvidia.

The people there are way too graphic.

i watched my classmate murder our professor with a calculator

it was graphic

How did the mathematician die?

Graphically

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Woman vs. Cab Driver

A mother and her young son hail a cab driver to go across town. During the drive, the boy keeps pointing to things outside and asking "what's that? what's that" The mom was doing best to answer his questions, until they pull up to a stop sign. Once again, the boy asks "What's that?" and points to...

I passed by a music shop the other day

All the instruments were painted with cool pictures and patterns. However, it didn’t allow children due to graphic violins and sax.

A woman brings her son to the doctor

Woman: Doctor help! My son is falling behind other children. What can I do to speed up his development?
Doctor: Have you tried lowering his graphics?

A woman had quintuplets.

Not being a creative type, she named them after her various senses. As the children grew up, they maintained a good relationship; very few other people wouldn't tease them about their names. Naturally, the children excelled in different areas; Touch, for example, was great at History, and Sight was ...

A Gamers perspective of Reality.

Great graphics, terrible gameplay.

Why aren't digital images of Bob Marley scalable?

Because they're all rasta graphics.

Why does the US military use digital camo?

They turned down the graphics for better performance

computer humor

Graphics card says to the RAM "did you see that?" he replies "I Know".

Your son is a little slow...

My son was having trouble in school so I took him to a doctor to see if he was ok. The doctor calls me a few days later "sir it seems your son is a little slow." I ask him what could be done. So I turned down his graphics now he's really fast but dear god is he ugly.

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My trigonometry teacher was just removed from class...

He was caught writing really graphic things on the chalk board.

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Franks sees Bob down by the water fishing one afternoon...

Frank: "Hey Bob, what are you doing down here?"
Bob: "Just fishing, you know how much I like to fish."
Frank: "Didn't you get married today?"
Bob: "Sure did, she's a keeper, couldn't be happier."
Frank: "Well, uh... not to get too personal, but shouldn't you be with your wife, uh, con...

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I found my daughters diary and read it.

So I've been trying to get my daughter to clean up her room for a long while now, all to no avail. So yesterday when she went out, I decided that I would do it.

For the most part it was just typical teenage mess, clothes everywhere, the occasional food wrapper. However when i was cleaning out...

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A struggling music producer is having trouble selling any of his work, and in his desperation decides to do the score for a low budget porno movie.

It’s not the most glamorous job, but hey, it’s gonna pay the bills, so he really puts a lot of effort into making the best damn low budget porno soundtrack ever. After a lot of hard work, the movie is finally done and the producer gets his check in the mail along with a complimentary ticket to see t...

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

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