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I took my little sister to the cinema. Apparently the sex was too graphic.

Everyone asked us to stop.

Did you hear about the ISIS graphic designer?

He was handed some selfies and asked to blow them up.

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in graphic design

I have over 300 confirmed designs and don't have a single job...

I've gotten a Graphic Design job at a nuclear plant

The pay is not great, but they told me I'd be getting some exposure.

How do you satisfy a graphic designer in the bedroom?

Bring out the GIMP

Processor has had a bad day..

Graphics Card: Ya'know man, I can really put things into perspective for you.

I googled Gary Oldman for some info, I was met with some heavily graphic images

My bad, I forgot the 'r'.

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...

Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

I went outside today.

The graphics were excellent, but the storyline was terrible.

What do graphic designers smoke up to get high?

Adobe.

A graphic designer is working on a website...

...and his client says, "Could you make this banner a little more green?"

So he makes the color a little bit more green.

But his client says, "No, that's too green. Make it a little less so."

So he makes it a little less green.

The client says, "No, it's still a b...

So I used to date this graphic designer...

We broke up because I caught her cheating. Writing hundreds of letters to some guy named Lorem Ipsum. What a creep, right?

Recycled ones. But love them. 36 Math jokes and puns

Beginner

1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal?

Because he would have to convert.

2. Why do plants hate math?

It gives them square roots.

3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?

It was a mean thing to s...

Why aren't digital images of Bob Marley scalable?

Because they're all rasta graphics.

How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter?

Ask them to pronounce "hires"

why should you never buy a Asian graphics card?

bad drivers.

computer humor

Graphics card says to the RAM "did you see that?" he replies "I Know".

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What does a person study to design sex toys?

Graphic design.


NB: This is the first joke I ever come up with

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a billboard on the highway recently

It featured a graphic picture of blood and semen, with the words "is this in your future?"

I thought "well that's a sign of things to cum".

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I remember watching the news with my parents as a young man

All of a sudden there was a horrendous and explicit sex scene - so graphic and so early in the day. Naturally, I didn't know what to do or where to look. So I continued watching the news.

The magician's Publicity Stunt.

I asked a magician for an \[OC\] joke to post on reddit. (Yes, I asked a magician and not a comedian, I don't know many comedians personally, sorry.)

.

Instead, I got a long winded story of his most popular magic trick. He probably made it all up, but here it is.

.

It w...

I could never take a job at Nvidia.

The people there are way too graphic.

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DOOM

The police officer approaches me slowly, his hand on his pistol. “Sir, can you please come down from that tree?”

“Not a chance!”

He surveys the destruction all around us. “What happened here?”

I stare at the smoking remains of my house and mutter, “Doom.”

The Police offic...

A documentary about the history of the computer desktop was recently given an R rating...

Turns out every icon was a little graphic.

Usain Bolt is very near-sighted, almost blind

The only reason he can run so fast is because he downgraded the graphics

i watched my classmate murder our professor with a calculator

it was graphic

I passed by a music shop the other day

All the instruments were painted with cool pictures and patterns. However, it didn’t allow children due to graphic violins and sax.

A woman brings her son to the doctor

Woman: Doctor help! My son is falling behind other children. What can I do to speed up his development?
Doctor: Have you tried lowering his graphics?

A woman had quintuplets.

Not being a creative type, she named them after her various senses. As the children grew up, they maintained a good relationship; very few other people wouldn't tease them about their names. Naturally, the children excelled in different areas; Touch, for example, was great at History, and Sight was ...

A Gamers perspective of Reality.

Great graphics, terrible gameplay.

Why does the US military use digital camo?

They turned down the graphics for better performance

Your son is a little slow...

My son was having trouble in school so I took him to a doctor to see if he was ok. The doctor calls me a few days later "sir it seems your son is a little slow." I ask him what could be done. So I turned down his graphics now he's really fast but dear god is he ugly.

My trigonometry teacher was just removed from class...

He was caught writing really graphic things on the chalk board.

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Franks sees Bob down by the water fishing one afternoon...

Frank: "Hey Bob, what are you doing down here?"
Bob: "Just fishing, you know how much I like to fish."
Frank: "Didn't you get married today?"
Bob: "Sure did, she's a keeper, couldn't be happier."
Frank: "Well, uh... not to get too personal, but shouldn't you be with your wife, uh, con...

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I found my daughters diary and read it.

So I've been trying to get my daughter to clean up her room for a long while now, all to no avail. So yesterday when she went out, I decided that I would do it.

For the most part it was just typical teenage mess, clothes everywhere, the occasional food wrapper. However when i was cleaning out...

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

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A struggling music producer is having trouble selling any of his work, and in his desperation decides to do the score for a low budget porno movie.

It’s not the most glamorous job, but hey, it’s gonna pay the bills, so he really puts a lot of effort into making the best damn low budget porno soundtrack ever. After a lot of hard work, the movie is finally done and the producer gets his check in the mail along with a complimentary ticket to see t...

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