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Explicit Jokes

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Which sex position is explicitly banned in the South?

Reverse Cowgirl.

Can't turn your back on family.

Do you know why “Chicken Run” was as an marked explicit movie?

It has fowl language

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

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The young couple across the road from me have made an explicit sex tape.

They just don’t know about it yet.

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So I was called today to the HR officer over an anonymous complaint that I've been giving explicit nicknames to some of my female colleagues..

I'm not sure who made that complaint but I feel it might be 'Bitchface Bigtits'

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Bad Lil' Johnny's Fishing Trip with His Grandpa... [Explicit]

Bad Lil' Johnny headed out on the water with his Grandpa for a day of fishing. After awhile of fishing, Grandpa got thirsty so he pulled out a beer and began to drink. Bad Lil' Johnny became curious never having tasted beer before and asked if he could have a sip of Grandpa's beer. Grandpa replie...

A murder took place. Everyone witnessed the crime being committed.

They know it was E who brutally killed the man in question. They saw it. Against all previous odds of his record coming clear, people testified.


A jury was formed to try E on these alleged crimes. Due to the extreme gore of the crime scene and its explicit details, it was a closed hear...

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Surprise!

A farmer and his wife are entertaining the local bigwigs when their son runs in and announces to his father in a loud voice, “Dad, dad, the bull’s fucking the cow.”

After a moment of shocked silence, the farmer turns to his son and calmly says, “Next time, son, be a little less explicit. You ...

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Trumpeter

A trumpeter is hired to play two solos for a movie. After the sessions, he is paid handsomely and promised by the director that he will be notified when the movie is released to the public. Three months later, he receives a notice that the movie will make its debut in Times Square at a porno house. ...

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I remember watching the news with my parents as a young man

All of a sudden there was a horrendous and explicit sex scene - so graphic and so early in the day. Naturally, I didn't know what to do or where to look. So I continued watching the news.

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A motorcycle officer stopped a man who ran a red light.

The guy was a real jerk, demanding, “Why am I being harassed by the Gestapo?!”
The officer calmly told him of his violation.
The man erupted in a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry and sexual orientation in explicit terms.
The officer took it in stride, saying nothing. When he finis...

The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating...

The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore.

A TCP joke.

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

...

A group of researchers were interested in studying...

...some of the complex effects of stereotype threat in test-taking situations. Stereotype threat is a social psychology theory that states an individual may experience anxiety when they have the potential to confirm a negative stereotype, thus adversely affecting their performance on a test. For exa...

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A man is walking through the market one day.

He hears a man yelling, "Get your dam fish here!"
The man is puzzled and asks the man, "Why are you saying such bad things about these fish?" The fish vendor laughs and says, "No no, these are DAM fish--as in they were caught near the dam."
"Oh I see," exclaimed the man, "I'll take some dam f...

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A beardless knight was paying court to a queen.

The queen asks the knight whether he had fathered any children.

The knight answered that he was indeed childless, to which the queen responded :

' I do not doubt your words for a moment, for it is easy to judge from the state of the hay whether the pitchfork is any good '

The K...

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United Airlines one-liners

Hilarious Compilation of Twitterati responses on the United Airlines Fiasco #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos
"United Airlines: Not enough seating, prepare for a beating."

"We have Red Eye and Black Eye flights available!"

"You can't beat our prices! But we can sure beat our passengers!"...

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A very poor couple had just been married

and all they could afford was to share a house with an elderly couple. What's worse is that
they had to sleep on the top half of a bunk bed, while the older
couple slept on the lower half.

Needless to say, the young couple
wanted sex often. Instead of asking the question explicit...

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A motorcycle cop stops

a driver for running a red light. The driver
is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer,
demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!


So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist
instantly goes on a tirade,...

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