They say the average high school prom goer now spends $1000 on prom

Or $2000 if you count the abortion.

What do you call a jewish gym-goer?

A Hebro

Why don't beach-goers ever get hungry?

Because of all the sand-which-is there

An older minister sat in the congregation of a younger colleagues church as he noticed fellow church goers falling asleep during the sermon.

The younger minister notices this as well. And so he says to his congregation, "For many years of my life I have been in the arms of another woman other than my wife."
The congregation stirred and gasped as they paid more attention to get the full shocking story.
"It was my mother!" He finishe...

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Old World War II political joke my granddad told me when I was a kid.

I'll try to retell it exactly as he told it to me when I was about seven or so.

>There's this intersection with a four way stop. Four cars displaying reichstag flags approach the intersection. You know, like those official flags the president's got, except they got the kraut eagle and car...

This guy moves to NYC

and the first night in his new apartment he realizes how loud his upstairs neighbor is, so he goes upstairs to politely ask him to cut it out. When he asks him to quiet down the guy responds with a nod and slams the door in face, resuming the loudness.

A week goes by and every night is the sa...

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Edit: Alright I've got it lol, TIL churches have wi-fi

Edit 2: ok guys really I get it, churches have wif-fi, no need for every redditor to tell me, 200 is enough

Edit 3: I'm beginning to realise these edit...

My son was born without arms or legs...

For his 18th birthday I carried him to the pub and bought him his first pint.

After holding the glass to his lips and watching him gulp it down, I was amazed to see arms sprout out of his torso!

Shocked, the bartender poured another pint and handed it over to my son, who picked up the ...

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It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet...

It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet. So, he goes all the way downtown to the tux store and when he opens the door there's a huge long tux line. Apparently everyone in town waited until the last possible minute to rent a tux, which shouldn't be that surp...

Ted

there once was a lecher named Ted .
who fancied himself a goer in bed .
but when parting a bush .
he would fumble and push .
and screw the poor mattress instead .

A rich man threw a party and invited the entire neighborhood...

In his backyard, in front of his lavish pool, he said to all party-goers, "In my pool are 10 alligators and 10 sharks. If anyone dare swim across, I will bestow them with anything their heart desires."

Not too long after that, a man is seen swimming frantically across the pool and manages to...

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A middle-class white woman goes to a beach, pulls out a mug and fills it with sea water.

She takes a large swig and sighs with relief as she gulps. A nearby beach-goer sees this.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm drinking tea," replied the woman.

"Tea?"

"Yes, tea."

"That's not tea!" said the beach-goer.

"I think you'll find that this is the strongest t...

A man is looking for a parking space

Everywhere he looks, it seems as if every single space has been taken. Though never much of a church goer, the man looks up to the sky and says, "God, if you give me a parking space, I promise I'll stop sinning and go to church." Suddenly, a parking space opens up right in front of him.

"Nev...

A MtF Trans woman goes to a Halloween costume party...

But she shows up in her regular clothes. The party goers ask "did you forget this was a costume party?"

She replies "Oh I remembered. I'm dressed as one of the X-Men."

I was sitting in church when a guy walked in and said hi to me.

He then walked up into the tower of the church and hit his face against the large bell a few times.

#BONG BONG BONG

He then walked back down the stairs and said "See you later mate" and walked out. As he left a few fellow church goers said to me, "Do you know that guy?"

I replie...

I’ve heard the reviews for the new Grinch movie have been bad.

One reviewer asked theater goers if they would watch The Grinch or a video of a sea sick crocodile, and 90% proffered watching the sea sick crocodile.

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her pet, a male parrot.

The woman was very proud of her parrot because it would sit in the bottom of its cage, cross its wings, and pray. She was also a devout church goer and would often brag to the congregation about her faithful parrot.

One day the woman was boasting about her parrot's prayers. An older gentleman...

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Hitler walks into a room... [NSFW] (sorry if repost)

...and says to his staff, "I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and 1 kitten."
Everyone looks around the table and after a long silence, Goering pipes up, "Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?"
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table, "You see, no one cares ...

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You know, nobody is really interested in the other Nazi Party higher-ups.

Usually because it's Goering.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Guys Go to a House Party

The host tells them beforehand, "it's an costume party, you need to come dressed as an emotion." They all agree. The first guy shows up, dressed in all red, the host asks "what are you supposed to be?" "I'm red with anger." The party-goer replied "Go ahead." The second guy shows up in all green, "wh...

What do Catholics and Baptists have in common?

Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.

A priest a minister and a rabbi...

All were trying to see who was the best at their job. They decided to go to the woods find a bear and convert it. One week later they all came back with their stories the pries went first and said “ well when I went out into the woods I found a bear and I gave him communion and now he's a regular ch...

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