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Board Game Jokes

Board Game Shop

Me: I want a dice.


Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.


Me: I want 2 die.


Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.


Me: I want 2 die alone.

I took my friend’s board game without him noticing.

He doesn’t have a Clue.

The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games

But that's a Risk I'm willing to take

What's a Canadians favourite board game?

Sorry.

I tried donating two classic board games to a thrift store, but they said they could only take one. I asked which one they wanted and they said...

Sorry. We don't want any Trouble.

I know a friend who keeps stealing board games...

He’s such a risk taker

Yesterday I robbed the oversized board game store

It was a huge Risk that I was willing to take

My frien Ann and I played a board game

She wanted to play Quiz It, and got a rather interesting trivia question.

"Whom were the Dutch at war with from 1568 to 1648?"

"I don't know. It must have been a neighbour, because that makes sense. I guess it was the French."

"No sorry, it was the Spanish."

"The Spanish...

My collection of board game inspired movies was robbed, but I dont know what was stolen

I have no clue

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bobby loved board games.

His collection of board games was massive, he had games from the 40's, 50's, 60's up to today. But one day, the neighborhood bully came over and saw Bobby playing and took all of Bobby's player pieces and broke them, all the Monopoly tokens, all the Battleship ships, all the markers for Sorry!, etc....

I was arrested for stealing board games, in my defence...

In life, you should take risks.

I found out my wife has been playing board games with another man.

Turns out she's monopolyamorous.

What was 2020's most popular board game?

Pandemic.

The last board game night was a complete failure

When we showed up, it turned out that our host had no Clue

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife always cheats when we play board games

Just last night, we were all playing Monopoly in the den and she was next-door fucking the neighbor.

My friend lost his board game.

He's asking me to investigate, but then suspected me.

One thing for sure, I have no Clue.

(actual true story) I saw some board games in the middle of the road that must have falled off of a car; the Scrabble box had burst open and there were tiles everywhere.

A case of a wreck tile dysfunction.

I wasn't allowed to bring my board game onto the airplane

They told me the risk was too big.

How Do I Know That Eastern European’s Love Board Games

Because I Have A Czech Mate Who Told Me So.

My wife just accused me of having never achieved anything in life because of my addiction to board games.

I think she must have forgotten that time I won second prize in a beauty contest. . .

Why don't they play board games in Africa?

Because there's to many cheetahs.

what is Amber Heard's favorite board game?

**SCATAGORIE**

What’s the Canadian curling team’s favorite board game?

Sorry Sliders

What animal is hated by most board game players?

A cheetah.

My dad, contemplating Brexit and the board game Risk,

"Well, Europe has always been hard to hold."

When it comes to board games about buying real estate...

Hasbro really has the Monopoly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why'd the pervert get banned from the board game shop?

No fucking clue

Which board game instruction manual is the Torah?

Jumanji

Idea for a board game

BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.

I didn't know which board game to buy, so I chose at random...

It was worth taking the risk.

My lawyer friend loves board games...

...but he has been sad lately, ever since he started that Risk-free 30-day trial.

A board game wherein players have to figure out who gave them an STD.

New from Johnson & Johnson: Clue-midia.

Have you heard of the new senior board game?

It's called "Alzhimers Hide 'N Seek".

It's single-player.

I have now stolen 56 copies of the board game "Risk" from local retailers.

When they eventually catch me, I'll say "Life is all about taking Risks."

Asia and his father are playing a board game.

Asia's father takes his turn.

He looks at Asia and says, "Europe, Asia."

I donated some old board games to my local daycare.

Hope those kids like Ouija Boards...

What's a Liberal Arts Major's Favorite Board Game?......

Trivial Pursuit.

I was playing a board game with my friends when I noticed some important pieces of the game were missing.

I asked my friend, " Are you the game owner?"

He said, "I moan but I'm straight"

I was seriously considering stealing a military strategy board game from the store yesterday...

...but i didnt. Im not much of a Risk taker.

Did you guys hear about the new board game sweeping the Iberian peninsula?

Settlers of Catalan.

It might be good at board games, but don't let DeepMind handle your video camera.

It's been known to trash Go Pros

Did you hear about the board game which traps you in a mystical world of French cuisine from which you must eat you way out?

It's called "Je manger."

My mate got fired from his job recently.

He was working in a board games shop, he got fired for stealing.

He was taking a lot of risks.

My fecalpheliac neighbor invited me over to play some board games.

Turns out I've been playing scattegories wrong my whole life.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, a fellow Redditor asked to see my board game collection...

So I showed him the room where I kept my games.

I excused myself to use the restroom and as I was walking back I heard some loud grunting. Concerned about my guest, I hurried back to my game room as the grunting became louder and louder.

When I finally made it to the room, my jaw dro...

If all diplomatic issues could be solved with a board game like monopoly, we wouldn't see the current levels violence in the world.

No, they'd be *way* higher.

I was over at my friend's house, and he had a wall full of board games. One caught my eye that had a full gold box, and inside were well made, metal playing pieces and a polished wooden board. I decided I had to have it, but he might see me if I tried to steal it.

It was a Risk I had to take.

Jenga Towers

At Highschool we have a test every week and my teacher lets the person with the highest score bring in their favourite board game. For years, my favourite game has been Jenga, the falling towers game.

So on friday the 8th in the first week of September I finally get the highest score and the ...

What is a KKK member's favorite board game?

CROSS fire

What's it called when you beat your eastern European friend at strategy board games.

Czech Mate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A daughter takes her old father to a retirement home

A daughter takes her old father in a wheelchair to a retirement home for the first time. The nurse, expecting their arrival, greets them with, "Welcome to the Johnson family retirement home! We think you'll feel quite at home here! Please follow me and I'll show you around." The nurse pushes the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a man who loved tractors

I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the love he felt for his wife. His high sch...

A father buys a robot that smacks anyone lying.

The dad brings the robot home. His son comes home and the dad asks "where have you been?" the son says "at school" the robot smacks the son. The son says "ok ok I was at my friends house." The dad asks "what were you doing?". The son says playing "board games". SMACK. the robot smacks the son and he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband is tired of getting beaten by his wife...

A husband is tired of getting beaten by his wife in everything. He challenged her to basketball, to which she promptly beat him 10 - 2. He challenged her to bowling, again she won 230 to 211. He tried other sports, board games, eating contests, etc. to which she beat him each time.

He was...

What do you call a group of racist chickens playing mystery board games?

A Clue Clucks Clan

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