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Gifted Jokes

A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied,

"Thanks for the Baghdad"

Gifted child!

My parents always said I was a gifted child. Turns out they meant someone left me on their doorstep in a box.

I just finished the book my friend gifted me on herd mentality.

But I haven't read the reviews yet so I don't know if I like it.

I was gifted a resistor by an old monk

So far, I haven't been able to use it in any circuits due to it's abnormally high resistance. Too mamy ohms.

I dressed up as a gifted kid for Halloween.

When my neighbors asked what I was supposed to be, I sadly replied, "I was supposed to be a lot of things..."

I'm working on a show that focuses on the life of a gifted airplane captain.

Producers said that if I wanted to be successful, I'd need an excellent pilot.

Hillary Clinton goes t o a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth," he says
And what is your question, Kenneth?" she asks.

I have three questions," he says.

"1st -- whatever happened in Benghazi?

2nd -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of ...

What do you call a politician with half a brain?

Gifted.

Why was the anti-vaxxer’s 3 year old crying?

They were having a mid-life crisis.

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

I gifted trampoline to my son on his 7th birthday

I think he was so happy he bust into tears. He cried so hard that he fell out of his wheelchair

My best friend Emily and her girlfriend Sarah gifted me a Rolex.

Really appreciate the present but not what I meant when I said I wanna watch

So when I was a kid, I was in the Duke TIP program for gifted children. Later on, I applied to Duke University, but was unfortunately denied...

A friend asked me if I made it into Duke, and I said "Just the TIP."

As a teacher, I had several parents tell me at the beginning of the year that their child was gifted.

Now the year is almost over, I'm looking forward to regifting most of them.

What Did the King say When the Queen Gifted him a Fool for his Birthday

"I've no use for one of these... But it was a nice jester"

Late katherine Johnson was such a gifted Mathematician

That when she died at age 101 she was in her prime.

My wife gifted me an ancient Italian artefact.

It was rome-antique.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Our President Trump is naturally gifted!

There are not many people who can talk and shit through the same hole.

For my birthday, I got gifted a sticky deck of cards.

I'm having a hard time dealing with it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A housewife was unsatisfied with her sex life and confides this to her mother who gifted her a magical item.

Wife: "A dildo?"

Mother: "A magical dildo."

Wife: "What's so magical about it."

Mother: "Just say *Magic dildo* and name the body part you want pleasured."

Skeptical but curious, the wife takes the gift and goes to her room where she laid in bed and uttered the magical wo...

I got funny looks when I gifted a fir tree as a housewarming gift.

I thought it would spruce the place up a bit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ole, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done.

One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house.

Inside was a beautiful woman, who asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request of Ole.

The woman said money was no object. She was willing to pay $50,000.

Not wanting to get in...

My friend got a motorbike jacket gifted from his uncle

Along with his organs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I gifted pair of gloves to my kid with no hands as a Christmas gift as a joke

That little fuck hasn't still opened the box.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a man is gifted a horse which has terribly crossed eyes.

He decides to go to the vet to get it looked at.

The vet takes one look at the horse and says, "We have a very special treatment for crossed eyes in horses. Stand back."

He sedates the horse and takes out a tube that's about six feet long, then carefully inserts about three feet of it ...

A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and then his wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.

Was the neclace fake?

No. That was deal!

I heard Bobby Drake was leaving Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.

I guess he was just too cool for school.

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