Flair Jokes - 34 Hilarious Flair Jokes

So, tensions with Russia flair up...

... And the Cold War reignites. With both the USA and Russia standing on the brink of total nuclear annihilation, the leaders decide to meet. Both agree that nothing on earth is worth an apocalypse, so they decide to end things once and for all; with a winner-takes-all dogfight. Both sides have 5 ye...

Not sure why r/Jokes doesn't have a flair called "Original Joke"

But now that I think about it, it's obvious.

A woman, tired of being alone, posts a personal ad

In the ad, she says she's looking for a man who won't beat her, won't walk out on her, and can please her in bed.

A few days later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and is surprised to find a man on her doorstep with no arms or legs. "I'm here about the personal ad," the man says casual...

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Kinda long, but I couldn't get the flair to work.

An explorer gets lost in the Amazon rainforest. While searching for a way out, he stumbles upon a tribe of cannibals. They all want to eat the man, but the chief pities the man. He says to the explorer:

"Look. I know you're lost, so I'm gonna give you a chance to save your life." And with tha...

What is Ric Flair’s Favourite Pokemon?

A Woooooobat

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A jew and an American are on a train together. (Sorry for a possibly incorrect or missing flair, I can't flair for some reason)

The American has lots of food. Burgers as the main course, coca cola as the drink, and Twinkies for dessert. The jew has very little food, just some dried fish.

The jew tells the American: "You should give me your burgers and other food in exchange for my fish. It contains phosphorus ...

r/Jokes has a new flair: "Original Content."

I bet it'll be real popular.

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I've heard that reddit can measure your penis and write the assessment in the flair?!

How does it do it?!

There's actually an [OC] flair on this sub

It's just never...ever been used

I heard a rumor that r/jokes is getting an "Original Content" flair to help Redditors avoid cut&paste reposts

[meta] Flair for jokes (a suggestion to the mods)

I had an idea occur to me, how about offer flair for jokes so that it can be tagged as an oldie but a goody or heard it from a friend or thought of this one myself, because some people seem like theyve heard a lot of stuff and complain every time they heard it again. It would help you not get let do...

[Meta] Can we get length of joke flair similar to /r/TIFU

Is it possible to implement flair beside every joke that indicates the length of the jokes? /r/tifu has something to indicate this. Personally, I like reading longer jokes and I find myself skimming through and ignoring a lot of titles that begin with "What do you" "Who" "Why does a" etc. But even...

Today is the first time I visited r/Jokes and couldn't understand why there's no flair called "Original Content"

Now I understand.

I prefer to think of myself as a "Contemporary Anthropological Interactive Observer" because it has just the right amount of flair.

Besides, "stalker" is such an ugly word.

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Long/Sexist (On mobile and I can’t find the flair) A priest and a woman are walking up the Gates of Heaven when they’re greeted by St. Peter

St. Peter tells them “Sorry, we’re packed today, we can only allow in whichever one of you supported God the most.

So he looks about both of their informations for each of their lives, and he decides to pick the woman.

Of course, the Priest was astonished. He had spent his entire lif...

A man walks into a doctor's office

The receptionist greets him. "Hello, sir. Do you have an appointment?"

The man responds, "oh, sorry. The flair said this was a bar."

There were two avid sailors

who were proud of their well-kept boats (the "Tuning Fork"
and the "Robert Frost", respectively). In all ways they were evenly matched as able sailors except when it came to braiding rope. Not that the Tuning fork’s captain’s braids were deficient, but the other had a flair when it came to bra...

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The Speed of Light is 3*10^8 metres per second. What then is the Speed of Darkness?

100 metres over 9.58 seconds.

edit: wow this blew up overnight! How do I flair this as racist?

edit2: holy shit I was tired when I wrote this. My physics teacher will kill me. I wrote time/distance instead...

While married to Rose, we acquired house, cars, jewelry, retirement accounts. And with the divorce,

everything is coming up *ROSE's*!!

I have no idea how my first submission of this came to be flaired "Religion"... so I deleted it.

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Bono and u2 were performing at a gig in scotland

And as you all will know, bono is a cause celebre for all sorts of charity aid, world peace, ending hunger, heal the world etc that sort of thing. He jets around the world having concerts and all that for the benefit of others and frequently raises this at his concerts.

He begins this concert...

Jesus walks into a bar.

Don't mind me. Just trying to confuse the auto-flair.

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whats a similarity between a post on r/jokes and the dick of its poster?

The poster flairs both as "long" when it isn't.

What's worse than your neighbor playing the trumpet at 4 am?

Him not quite knowing how to play the trumpet at 4 am

A woman walks into a bar...

She walks up to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at the woman and then looks up above her and says "Doesn't That flair seem a bit redundant?"

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So a girl browses for guys to date on a website

She demands three things: that he must never hurt her, that he will never run away, and that he must be very good in bed.

A while later, her doorbell rings and she answers the door. To her surprise, it was a man with no arms, no legs, just like Nick Vujicic.

He introduces himself: "Hi,...

I used to have a fear for speed bumps...

But I'm slowly getting over it.

Why are post on Reddit categorized ?

Because if it was not the case, it would not be flair

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A man gets out of prison and finds a prostitute.

“I just got out of prison and haven’t had sex in a long time. I only have $20. What can I get?,” he says.

The prostitute replies, “I can’t help you but I think I know someone who can.”

So he goes to her friend and tells her the same story. The friend can’t help him but sends him to som...

A basketball player, a Mexican, and a terrorist are all on a plane. Long

The plane is going super slow so they all got rid of some weight. The basketball player said, "I have a ton of basketballs, I don't need this many," and threw some off the plane. The Mexican said, "I have a ton of tacos, I don't need this many," and threw some off the plane. The terrorist said, "I h...

A guy hires a contractor to do some work on his house

He doesn’t like the front of his house and decided he wants new columns, new everything. He selects a contractor and starts working on choosing materials. He ultimately decides on a wooden column with a rustic flair, and a slate tile under the front porch.

The contractor does the work well—h...

Tallahassee, FL (AP) - A 7 year old boy was at the center of a court room drama yesterday when he challenged the court’s ruling of who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and was initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beats him mo...

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This actually happened to me.

A few years ago I was working in a call center that promoted the use of "Pizzazz Greetings." Such examples ranged from "Thank you for calling XYZ! My name is Kandy with a K! What can I do to make your day as awesome as mine!?" To "Thank you for flying with XYZ, my name is Josh and I'll be your capt...

A robber walks into a sperm bank wearing a mask and carrying a gun...

... he walks up to the counter and points the gun at the lady and shouts "open up that safe!! Now!!".

The lady says "sir, we're a sperm bank, we don't have any money on the premises".

The robber screams at her "i don't care! Take everything out of the safe and put it on the counter"...

A teacher walks into a class with a bag full of fruit

The teacher then says, "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit and you tell me which fruit I'm talking about. Alright, the first one is round, plump, and red." Little Johnny raised his hand high but the teacher ignored him and picked Deborah who promptly answered, "...

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