This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: I've conquered my fear of ghosts!

Therapist: That's the spirit!

Me: Oh fuck where

Why does Trump hate ghosts?

Because they can go through walls.

what do you call a native american who likes to touch ghosts ?

poke a haunt ass

How do you sneak into a school for ghosts?

Just act super natural.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do you call a ghosts boobies?

Paranormal entitties.

Why are ghosts so popular at parties?

Because they always bring the boo's (booze)

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Sex with ghosts

A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do an...

Where do fashionable ghosts shop?


What do you call a woman who ghosts after a one-night stand?

A ding dong ditcher

Do you want to hear a joke about ghosts?

Nevermind, you'd probably just boo me.

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Sex with ghosts

A spiritualist meeting, and the leader asks the crowd, "Who here believes in ghosts?" Most of the hands go up. "Has anyone here seen a ghost?" Fewer hands go up. "Heard a ghost?" "Smelled a ghost?" "Touched a ghost?" Fewer hands go up each time. Finally, he asks "Has anyone here ever had sex...

What is an Australian ghosts favorite pie?

Boo Meringue!

What room do ghosts avoid?


The living room.

What do you call a pair of drunk ghosts ?

Methalated Spirits

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What do ghosts, China, pansexuals and unicorns have in common?

They’re all not real

What’s the male ghosts favorite part of a female ghost?

Her boooooobies.

There is no ghost

While visiting a spooky historic house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour.
To reassure her, the guide told her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost.
“And how long have you worked h...

What are two ghosts up to when they play together?

Pair of normal activity

Happy Halloween

Why are ghosts such bad liars?

You can see right through them.

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What type of porn do ghosts most prefer?


What do ghosts like to eat?

I scream

A joke from my 4 year old: What do you call accidents made by ghosts?

Boo boos.

What do Seattleites call a group of little kids dressed up as ghosts?

A micro-boo-ery!

I went to a meet up for people who cosplay as ghosts the other day.

Not sure why they were burning crosses though.

My wife beleives in ghosts,

I'm just happy to have something to blame my farts on

Why are comedians so scared of ghosts?

Because they always BOO.

The ghosts have begun planning for Halloween this year

Beware, they're quite the cunning strategeists

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

Because they would steal all the boos!

Do you know why ghosts always have long hair?

Because all the hair salons are closed at night.

On the night of his inauguration, Donald Trump is visited by 3 ghosts

Early in the night, FDR appears. Trump asks him "how can I make America great again?"
FDR replies "think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets"
Trump's face sours "FAKE NEWS!" he screams and FDR disappears. Trump falls bac...

Why can't ghosts have babies? [Halloween Joke]

Because they have hollow-weenies!

Why did the ghosts' party end early?

They were all out of boos.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Massless chaps.

Credit: a student always writes a "joke/pun of the day" on the board every morning. The original punchline was "boo jeans". Other students like to compete throughout the day to come up with a better punchline. I thought this one was so good I'd see if it got any love from redd...

What do ghosts go through when they get older?


What do you call a couple of average ghosts?


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