Why are ghosts terrible at lying?

Because you can see right through them.

What room do ghosts avoid?

The living room.

Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?

Them: sure

Me: that's the spirit

Where do Russians send their ghosts?

To the Ghooouuulllll-lag

I hate jokes about ghosts.

They have no substance.

What do ghosts want for dessert

Ice cream

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: I've conquered my fear of ghosts!

Therapist: That's the spirit!

Me: Oh fuck where

Why does Trump hate ghosts?

Because they can go through walls.

What do you a call it when one ghosts eats another ghost?

Canni-BOO-lism!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do you call a ghosts boobies?

Paranormal entitties.

What do you get when you have a room full of happy people toasting shot glasses to stoned ghosts?

High Spirits

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex with ghosts

A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do an...

How do you sneak into a school for ghosts?

Just act super natural.

Why are ghosts so popular at parties?

Because they always bring the boo's (booze)

I never believed in the after life, spirits or ghosts...

Until I got on dating apps.

what do you call a native american who likes to touch ghosts ?

poke a haunt ass

Where do fashionable ghosts shop?

Bootiques.

What do you call a woman who ghosts after a one-night stand?

A ding dong ditcher

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex with ghosts

A spiritualist meeting, and the leader asks the crowd, "Who here believes in ghosts?" Most of the hands go up. "Has anyone here seen a ghost?" Fewer hands go up. "Heard a ghost?" "Smelled a ghost?" "Touched a ghost?" Fewer hands go up each time. Finally, he asks "Has anyone here ever had sex...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do ghosts, China, pansexuals and unicorns have in common?

They’re all not real

Why do ghosts love to eat health foods so much?

Because they’re super natural

What’s the male ghosts favorite part of a female ghost?

Her boooooobies.

What is an Australian ghosts favorite pie?

Boo Meringue!

What do you call a pair of drunk ghosts ?

Methalated Spirits

What are two ghosts up to when they play together?

Pair of normal activity

Happy Halloween

There is no ghost

While visiting a spooky historic house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour.
To reassure her, the guide told her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost.
“And how long have you worked h...

On the night of his inauguration, Donald Trump is visited by 3 ghosts

Early in the night, FDR appears. Trump asks him "how can I make America great again?"
FDR replies "think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets"
Trump's face sours "FAKE NEWS!" he screams and FDR disappears. Trump falls bac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What type of porn do ghosts most prefer?

BOO-kake

What do ghosts like to eat?

I scream

What do Seattleites call a group of little kids dressed up as ghosts?

A micro-boo-ery!

A joke from my 4 year old: What do you call accidents made by ghosts?

Boo boos.

My wife beleives in ghosts,

I'm just happy to have something to blame my farts on

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