How do ghosts obtain money?

Via a polterheist. Ouch, the downvotes!

What room doesn’t have ghosts?

Living room.

Why do ghosts love elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

A man's car gets haunted by a ghost

So he decided to go to a priest to get it removed.

The priest performs the exorcism, and it works! He successfully removes the ghost from the car. He says to the man "That'll be $250." The man refuses to pay, and so a couple weeks later his car gets repossessed.

Do you like jokes about Ghosts?, Yes?

That’s the spirit!

Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?

They prefer Wight Castle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week I told a therapist that I was trying to overcome my fear of ghosts.

His answer left me scared since then.


"That's the spirit."

Why are ghosts bad at lying ?

Because you can see right through them.

A dwarf who can talk to ghosts escaped from prison.

The police alert said “There’s a small medium at large.”

What kind of cars do ghosts drive?

Boo-gattis.

Do you want to hear a joke about ghosts?

That's the spirit.

What do you call someone with a lisp who murders angels and ghosts?

Ethereal killer

What do fat ghosts need to do to lose weight?

Exorcise

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy giving a lecture, on the paranormal.

Guy: "How many people believe in Ghosts?"

About 60 hands go up.

"How many have seen a ghost.?"

About 15 hands go up.

"How many have of you have spoken to a ghost.?"

3 hands go up.

"How many have had sex with a ghost?"

One hand goes up, Abdul right at ...

What are ghosts favorite movie genre?

Seance-fiction

I once told a bad joke about ghosts

It still haunts me to this day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between a male and a female ghost?

A female ghosts has BOObs

Just figured out that ghosts are . . . . .

people who died trying to fold a fitted sheet.

"do you believe in ghosts?"

**Me:** lol no— even my grandma says that's dumb

"dude your grandma died 10 years ago"

**Me:** what?!

Two ghosts were sharing stories of their deaths.

Juan asked first, "What killed you?"

"I was locked inside a fridge," Pedro said, "I was cold and trembling, then suffocated after an hour."

"That sucks man," replied Juan. "I got a heart attack and passed away."

"What happened?", asked Pedro.

"As I got...

Why is Mario so scared of Spanish ghosts?

He’s been playing with “La Ouija” too much.

What is a popular search engine for ghosts?

Ghoul-gle!

what do ghosts read?

booooooks

What do I have in common with ghosts?

Only naive people believe in me :<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s a ghosts favorite type of porn?

Boo-kakke

What is a ghosts favorite kind of dessert?

What is a ghosts favorite kind of dessert?

Boo-berry pie!

If a bank gets robbed by ghosts,

then it’s a Polterheist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do ghosts like to ride the elevator?

It lifts their spirits
happy spoopy day

Why are all ghosts considered alcoholics?

Because they bring Boos everywhere they go!

Why do ghosts love health food

Because it’s super natural

My grandfather could communicate with ghosts, who would often ask him about his clothes sizing.

He was a medium.

People claim ghosts are real...

But I’ve lived in this house for 527 years and I’ve never seen one.

Where do baby ghosts go when their parents are at work?

To day-scare!

Why can't ghosts have babies?

Because they have hollow weenies.

Priest calls a town meeting about rumors of ghosts... (long)

In a small rural town rumors start to spread that people are seeing ghosts, so the new and inexperienced priest hears about these rumors and decides to call a town meeting to get to the bottom of these rumors. After everyone arrives the priest then starts the meeting with a question: "Who here has s...

Dickens: I wrote a book about ghosts

**Publisher:** we need a christmas book

**Dickens:** *[adding, like, 4 words]* I wrote a book about christmas ghosts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On Christmas I was just minding my own business when I was visited by a few ghosts.

The plot Dickens.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We have ghosts in house

\- "I went last night to the bathroom and light turns on by itself. I finish peeing and go out only for the light to turn off by itself too."

\- "Idiot! You pissed in the fridge again."

Why don't Monsters eat Ghosts?

They taste like sheet!!

Have y'all heard about this new app that lets you see ghosts?

It's called Tinder

What are ghosts favorite thing to read?

BOOks

What do ghosts drink at parties?

BOOOOOZE!

What are epileptic ghosts made of?

Ectospasm

What religion do ghosts adhere to?

Boodhism

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