UPJOKE
demonzombieevil spiritvampireundeadmonstergeniestealerwraithghostshapeshifterpoltergeistelfapparitionmacabre

What do you say when you see a stunned ghost buster catch a ghoul?

He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.

How do ghosts get ghouls interested in them?

They woooooooOOOOOOOooooo them.

What’s the top halloween costume worn in New Jersey?

A gaba-ghoul

Jack is hosting a halloween costume party

Jack is hosting a Halloween costume party. He sends invitations to every one of his friends. He prepares excellent food, hires a band for music, sets up the tables and furniture, et cetera.

Then the big day comes. All of Jack’s friends come dressed in their finest costumes. Frankenstein’s Mon...

Why did the ghoul take his ghoulfriend to the cemetery?

He wanted to do a graveyard-smash!

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.

How do ghouls sign off a letter?

Best witches and worm regards

Ghoul in the Pub (Credit to Paul Sloane & Des MacHale)

Bill, a tourist in Devon, spends the day sightseeing, then decides to finish the day at a pub in a nearby village. He gets absorbed in the rustic atmosphere, but in the midst of drinking a Guinness, he notices what appears to be a ghoul drinking from a small green bottle, across the room. This perso...

It's that time of the year when many Americans go around in public pretending to be something they're not, with many choosing to appear as monsters and ghouls. But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin.

I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

The Wong Brothers

In ancient China lived the Wong brothers, three wise men who studied the arts of magic. Wong Wan could create beautiful tapestries with the tiniest bit of thread, and Wong Tsu could miraculously make crops grow in barren soil. Wong Lee, however, was much more sinister than his brothers. His magic co...

What is a popular search engine for ghosts?

Ghoul-gle!

I once dated an Italian woman, who haunts me in my dreams to this day...

...she’s a real gaba-ghoul.

What do you call a party ghost with athlete's foot?

A Fun-ghoul infection

Welsh joke *long*

This was told to me 35 years ago by Boyd Clack (google him for his works)

Small welsh village and the local vicar has been told that his sermon this week needs to be about the doctrine of the Church of Wales as there had been lots of rumours about the village of ghost sightings.

"and m...

Why aren't Hungarians worried about the prospect of starving in a Zombie apocalypse?

Well there will always be Ghoul hash.

Halloween puns and bad one-liners

Throw em at me!



> What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?

Ghoul-Aid

> What's a ghosts favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet

> Why did Dracula go to the doctor?

Because he was coffin

What do Italians call ghosts?

Gaba-Ghouls!

What search engine do spooky monsters use?

Ghoul ghoul.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a ghost's favorite type of porn?

Boo-kkake

Alternative punchline: Ghouls Gone Wild

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates...

St. Peter says "OK, we've kind of streamlined the entry process here. I'm going to ask you a single question, and if you answer it correctly you will be admitted into heaven." He turns to the first guy and says "What is Easter?" The guy says "Easter, huh? Let me see... Isn't there a tree involved? S...

who do monsters buy their cookies from?

the ghoul scouts.

What do you get when you burn a Hungarian ghost?

Ghoul-ash!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a senile old man, an alleged rapist, and a neoliberal ghoul walk into a bar.

The bartender says "im sorry Mr. Biden, we are closed due to the coronavirus"

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