Why is the Mystery Inc not invited to the Halloween party?

They'll unmask everyone if they were invited!

It's a mystery to me why men like trophy wives.

Their ears stick out and they have they've got the previous winners names tattooed down their backs.

I’m thinking of writing a mystery novel.

Or am I?

what do you call a group of crows and a dead one

a murder mystery

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A first-year college student found himself repeatedly impressed by the wit and wisdom of the philosophy majors he'd met...

A first-year college student found himself repeatedly impressed by the wit and wisdom of the philosophy majors he'd met. One day he plucked up the nerve to ask one of them, "So how come all you philosophy majors are so smart?" 

"Oh, that's no mystery," the philosophy major answered. "We've al...

August 20, 2020: Scientists have discovered a "mystery object" in space. The object is equal to 2.6 solar masses.

March 1, 2021: (Update) Scientists have determined that the “mystery object” is made up of unmatched socks.

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end.

EDIT: Thank you for the silver!

EDIT AGAIN: Thank you for the gold and platinum! I am honored!

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A Harvard English 101 class was asked to write a CONCISE essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

The only "A+" in the class read:

"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

A man had to trace a call to help with a mystery

So he found his phone cable and started ripping

Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Watson are solving a mystery

Sherlock: all the bodies were outside he school gates

Watson: how do you know that? I don’t see them.

Sherlock: Elementary my dear Watson, I can see blood that must have congregated around the bodies forming these shapes *points at the ground*

Watson: well what else do you know?...

The mystery of how my luggage worked has been solved.

It was an opened and shut case.

A prison mystery

\- Why were you sent to prison?

\- Bribery.

\- And how did you get out after just a month?

\- What do you think?

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Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery.

Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."

A woman goes to IKEA to buy a new bedroom closet

She comes home and assembles the closet but as soon as a bus drives by her house, the closet collapses in on itself.

Frustrated she tries again, this time taking care to follow the instructions to the letter. Just as she is finished, another bus drives by her house and the closet collapses ag...

The mystery of the murder of crows

(This is my favorite joke that I read on here years ago, I haven't seen it in a while... Figure it's time for a repost... Forgive me if it's been more recent then I believe)

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority (MTA) found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and ...

I watched a murder mystery movie with my daughter.

She said, "Hey! They just stole this idea from Among Us!"

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I’m an international man of mystery

I leave the nation and nobody knows who the fuck I am.

Update I guess I’m a national man of mystery too

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A man was driving down the road when his car breaks down near a monastery.

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before.

...

What do you call a group of racist chickens playing mystery board games?

A Clue Clucks Clan

A kilted Scotsman

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.

As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman ...

Some mystery person keeps adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens.

What’s the last big mystery from WW2?

Why kamikaze pilots wore helmets

Scooby Doo is the worst cartoon to watch during the COVID-19 pandemic

Because the Mystery Inc gang doesn’t seem to like people who wear masks

They say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built

But it seems obvious to me - they probably started at the bottom and worked their way up.

There was a mystery involving an office worker and a small bag.

It was a brief case.

They're serving mystery meat at the cafeteria in the physics lab again.

I've been asking what the main ingredient they put in their heisenburgers was, and nobody knows.

I wanna write a mystery novel

Or do i?

I have actually written one

Or have i?

I am sorry i wont do this again

Or wil i?

How gliders fly is kind of a mystery to me...

But I guess they have potential.

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The Mystery Bank Robbery

Last Saturday there was a bank robbery but no one saw the face of the robber given that there were at least 100 people there. The robber wasn't wearing any mask either.
Finally, after hours of interrogations they decided to have a look at the CCTV as they didn't believe the fact that no one saw ...

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Toilet paper hoarding mystery has been solved.

When one person sneezes nine shit themselves.

Trying to create a decent graph of my data but some mystery guy keeps adding more samples to it.

The plot thickens.

What do you call an autobody shop that charges extra money for mystery parts?

"Surprise mechanics".

NSFW My wife went to see a murder mystery film titled "Glory holes and murder"

When she came back home, she looked really wide eyed. "I said you look shocked"
She said "yes, a surprise ending, but I never saw it coming..."

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My girlfriend enjoys a relationship full of mystery and surprises

That's why whenever she leaves the room I shit in one of her shoes

Great Mystery

Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"

Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"

Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".

A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot..

The bartender hands him a shot of whisky, the guy drinks it down, looks at something in his shirt pocket, then orders another one.

The bartender gives him the 2nd shot, and same thing, guy drinks it, looks in his shirt pocket then immediately orders another.

After 5 more shots, the b...

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Did you hear about the murder mystery porno?

In the end, everyone did it.

I was trying to come up with a name for my group of mystery-solving chickens

Apparently the Clue Clucks Clan was already taken.

Some actors are famous for playing the same role in multiple movies, but none so much as Lee Navarre.

Lee Navarre had starred in a couple of low budget films like Greta's Gallery and Fisherman Flanagan, but no one really took note of him till he was seen in the first movie of the mystery series "When Midnight Chimes". As we all know, it was an instant hit and Navarre gained a lot of critical acclaim...

Mystery movie idea

Acclaimed actor goes missing. Police zero in on the suspects being his director, wife and brother. Plot twist: Actor is now living a different life disguised as a quizmaster at a European game show. No one expects thespian is in quiz session.

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A poor man goes to a sex club

After standing in line to get in het gets to the doorman. "What can I get for $5" the poor man says.

"You can get into the mystery room" says the doorman and he proceeds to lead the poor man to a door. Once he opens the door he sees a big round chamber with in the middle a donkey with a small...

What do you call a mystery Mexican?

Juan Doe

The mystery of the Last son [long]

A man had four sons. The elder three were tall, muscular and blonde. The fourth son was a brunette and lanky.

The man always questioned if the last son was his. It would eat him inside. But to keep the sanctity of his marriage and family he never bought the topic up.

On his deathbed, h...

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The Mystery Gang have a quiz night.

Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby decide to have a quiz, and split into two teams. Fred is the quizmaster.

Velma and Daphne are in one team, Shaggy and Scooby in the other.

Fred: Okay, Daph and Velma, Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals?

Scooby: Rhino!

Fr...

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