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Mystery of the dead crows

The NSW Police have found a large number of dead crows on the Sturt Highway just outside Wagga Wagga early this morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian F...

Why is the Mystery Inc not invited to the Halloween party?

They'll unmask everyone if they were invited!

Keeping the mystery in a relationship

My wife says she likes to keep a little mystery in our relationship.

Stuff like:

* where the hell are my drill bits?

* why didn't you tell me they were coming over today?

and

* how much is this all going to cost?

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end.

EDIT: Thank you for the silver!

EDIT AGAIN: Thank you for the gold and platinum! I am honored!

I’m thinking of writing a mystery novel.

Or am I?

It's a mystery to me why men like trophy wives.

Their ears stick out and they have they've got the previous winners names tattooed down their backs.

August 20, 2020: Scientists have discovered a "mystery object" in space. The object is equal to 2.6 solar masses.

March 1, 2021: (Update) Scientists have determined that the “mystery object” is made up of unmatched socks.

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A Harvard English 101 class was asked to write a CONCISE essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

The only "A+" in the class read:

"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Watson are solving a mystery

Sherlock: all the bodies were outside he school gates

Watson: how do you know that? I don’t see them.

Sherlock: Elementary my dear Watson, I can see blood that must have congregated around the bodies forming these shapes *points at the ground*

Watson: well what else do you know?...

A man had to trace a call to help with a mystery

So he found his phone cable and started ripping

A guy was giving the opening prayer at a convention...

...and he said, "Life is a mystery everyone must stand alone I hear you call my name and it feels like home."So the MC said, "That's not really a prayer." And the guy said, "Well no, but it's like a prayer."

A man asks his fiancee to get married...

She happily accepts his proposal, but he sets out a clear condition if they're to marry.

"I have a closet at the end of the hall, and I keep it locked. That is my personal space and I don't want anyone, including my wife, to ever enter. Can you agree to that?"

She thinks his request a ...

The mystery of how my luggage worked has been solved.

It was an opened and shut case.

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Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery.

Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."

A joke my daughter just came up with.

What do they serve at a muder mystery dinner?

J'Accuse Cous.

I thought it was original and funny enough to share!

A prison mystery

\- Why were you sent to prison?

\- Bribery.

\- And how did you get out after just a month?

\- What do you think?

What do you call a group of racist chickens playing mystery board games?

A Clue Clucks Clan

what do you call a group of crows and a dead one

a murder mystery

I watched a murder mystery movie with my daughter.

She said, "Hey! They just stole this idea from Among Us!"

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I’m an international man of mystery

I leave the nation and nobody knows who the fuck I am.

Update I guess I’m a national man of mystery too

My First Time, so cut me some slack

What do you call a Sloppy Joe with Mystery Meat?















Sloppy John Doe!

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A first-year college student found himself repeatedly impressed by the wit and wisdom of the philosophy majors he'd met...

A first-year college student found himself repeatedly impressed by the wit and wisdom of the philosophy majors he'd met. One day he plucked up the nerve to ask one of them, "So how come all you philosophy majors are so smart?" 

"Oh, that's no mystery," the philosophy major answered. "We've al...

Some mystery person keeps adding soil to my garden.

The plot thickens.

They're serving mystery meat at the cafeteria in the physics lab again.

I've been asking what the main ingredient they put in their heisenburgers was, and nobody knows.

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Mystery..

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a st...

They say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built

But it seems obvious to me - they probably started at the bottom and worked their way up.

There was a mystery involving an office worker and a small bag.

It was a brief case.

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Toilet paper hoarding mystery has been solved.

When one person sneezes nine shit themselves.

Great Mystery

Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"

Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"

Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".

Trying to create a decent graph of my data but some mystery guy keeps adding more samples to it.

The plot thickens.

I wanna write a mystery novel

Or do i?

I have actually written one

Or have i?

I am sorry i wont do this again

Or wil i?

How gliders fly is kind of a mystery to me...

But I guess they have potential.

A woman goes to IKEA to buy a new bedroom closet

She comes home and assembles the closet but as soon as a bus drives by her house, the closet collapses in on itself.

Frustrated she tries again, this time taking care to follow the instructions to the letter. Just as she is finished, another bus drives by her house and the closet collapses ag...

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Did you hear about the murder mystery porno?

In the end, everyone did it.

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My girlfriend enjoys a relationship full of mystery and surprises

That's why whenever she leaves the room I shit in one of her shoes

Mystery Ink Reddit Bull, Claims Alaska Girl

Pics are expected to prove supposed underground print version of famed forum made with "disappearing ink" a hoax.

A kilted Scotsman

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.

As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman ...

I was trying to come up with a name for my group of mystery-solving chickens

Apparently the Clue Clucks Clan was already taken.

NSFW My wife went to see a murder mystery film titled "Glory holes and murder"

When she came back home, she looked really wide eyed. "I said you look shocked"
She said "yes, a surprise ending, but I never saw it coming..."

What do you call a mystery Mexican?

Juan Doe

The mystery of the Last son [long]

A man had four sons. The elder three were tall, muscular and blonde. The fourth son was a brunette and lanky.

The man always questioned if the last son was his. It would eat him inside. But to keep the sanctity of his marriage and family he never bought the topic up.

On his deathbed, h...

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The Mystery Gang have a quiz night.

Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby decide to have a quiz, and split into two teams. Fred is the quizmaster.

Velma and Daphne are in one team, Shaggy and Scooby in the other.

Fred: Okay, Daph and Velma, Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals?

Scooby: Rhino!

Fr...

Scooby Doo is the worst cartoon to watch during the COVID-19 pandemic

Because the Mystery Inc gang doesn’t seem to like people who wear masks

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