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Three nuns die and go to heaven.

St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and tells them that they’ll have to each answer a question about the Bible before being allowed into heaven.

“Sister, tell me, what is the holy trinity?” he asks the first nun.

The first nun answers “The father, the son and the Holy Ghost”. <...

As an atheist, I was upset when my son became a priest but then he passed away.

Now I'm being haunted by the father, my son, and the holy ghost.

Holy Ghost

It's a Sunday morning, and a pastor is talking to the crowd during his homily. He says to the congregation: "alright, so during mass we talk about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. With a show of hands, how many of you believe in spirits or ghosts?" About half of the crowd raises their hands....

I left my pastor on read this morning

Call that a holy ghost

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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor for help. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervious I take a sip."

So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:

Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

There are 10 commandments, not 1...

A Jewish Atheist sends his son to school.

A Jewish atheist hears that the best school in town happens to be Catholic, so he enrolls his son. Things are going well until one day the boy comes home and says, “I just learned all about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” The boy’s father is barely able to control his rage. He grabs his so...

Why was Mary Magdalene upset with Jesus?

Bevause he holy ghosted her.

What do you get when God stops answering your prayers?

The Holy ghost.

What do you call a resurrected guy that was shot to death?

The Holy Ghost

When a good christian girl starts ignoring your calls, it is not ghosting.

It is holy ghosting.

What do you call it when Jesus leaves you on read?

Getting Holy Ghosted.

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A Priest and a Nun go golfing...

...They reach the first teebox and decide the Nun shall go first. She sets up her ball and then proceeds to pray

"Oh Father, we thank for this wonderful game of golf and this beautifull day that we can come together and play golf for you glory. I ask for you blessing with this drive. Father,...

A guy gets knocked down in the street

A regular looking guy gets knocked down in the street in New York. A crowd gathers round him and a catholic priest pushes though. He has no idea if the guy is catholic or not but he sees that the guy is in a bad way and decides to give him the last rites anyway. The priest kneels down beside the guy...

The Pope and the most renowned Rabbi are having a discussion...

...But neither of them speak a common language, and they want the meeting to be private. So the two icons decide to attempted to speak in their own signs to communicate.
The Pope starts by making a circular motion over with his hand
The Rabbi responds by pointing down at the ground
The Pope...

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Jimmy's big night

Probably been told on here before but heres the version i heard.

So Jimmy and his GF start talking and decide tonights the big night. Tonight he loses his virginity!

So Jimmy heads to the local pharmacy to get his first condom. To look cool and get it over with asap he walks in and ask...

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