Who do you call when a turtle is stuck in your garbage disposal?

Mario

My friend dropped a penny down their garbage disposal, now it no longer works...

...I suggested she drop another one down there to see if it would dislodge the first. I was just giving her my two-cents.

I asked the plumber to install a garbage disposal on the bathtub drain...

He looked at me like - I - was the psycho.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I woke up this morning, the garbage disposal was making a funny noise.

Turns out he was just masturbating in the next room.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I watched the weirdest porn ever today. The repair man came over, fixed the garbage disposal, then left. That's it, that's all that happened.

Turns out it wasn't a porno after all, and the Do It Yourself, channel isn't what I thought it would be.

The Jar

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it wa...

If Beyblade’s were a video game the final boss would be

a garbage disposal

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fred loves camping, but his wife absolutely hates it (NSFW)

Every week Fred bugs his wife about it but its the same thing every time, she refuses to go camping. Finally having heard enough his wife says "fine, how about this? I have a list of things that need to be done around the house. If you finish everything on the list by Friday, I'll go camping with y...

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