Mines Jokes - 16 Hilarious Mines Jokes

In soviet russia, there are no mines.

There are just ours.

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I started a company...

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

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Chuck Norris mines crypto currency

by hand.

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Do you have a favorite material? Mines Limestone...

But a lot of people take it for granite

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What do the Russians call their mines?

Ours.

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Land Mines

The Soviet Union don't use land mines.

They use land OURS.

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Fun fact: The USSR didn’t have iron mines.

They had iron **ours.**

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Did you know that the Soviet Union had absolutely zero coal mines?

Crazy fact! I heard however that there were plenty of coal ours though.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During WW2, three generals were arguing who had the bravest soldiers.

The British general called one of his men over.

“Private! See that nazi tank in the minefield there? Go destroy it.”

“Yes, Sir!” The soldier replied and started running.

He ran across the unmarked minefield until within range of the tank with his anti-tank weapon, took aim and f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar nazi was working in the iron mines

A grammar nazi was working in the iron mines, when one of the miners went up to Hitler and gave him a report.

Hitler told the man, "You are mining too much iron. Mine less!"

The grammar nazi could not help himself and shouted, "Mine fewer!"

Hitler said, "Yes?"

Every evening, after they were finished with their work at the diamond mines, on their way home to their cottage, the seven dwarves would stop at a bar.

The bartender knew that the dwarves all liked hazelnut daiquiris, so every time the dwarves arrived at the bar, he would make sure that they all had hazelnut daiquiris.

One afternoon, when the bartender was making the daiquiris, he realized that he only had enough hazelnut extract to make six...

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One wind turbine turns to another and what's your favourite genre of music, mines pop?

The other wind turbine replies, I'm a big heavy metal fan.

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A man walks into a bar after a long day in the mines

He asks the bartender for some whiskey, but the bartender replies; "Sorry, we can't sell alcohol to miners."

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In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.

Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!

Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.

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A young bloke working in the mines...

A young bloke working in the mines in the Pilbara goes to see the onsite doctor with a little problem.

The doctor asks, "What's the trouble, son?"

The young bloke says, "Doc, I've got this weird lump under my foreskin."

"Right," says the doctor, "whip it out and let's have a loo...

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Why did the sloths vote to keep the coal mines open?

Because when it comes to energy they're conservative.

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