UPJOKE
stackheapmesswadpackraftlotslewhatfulpotplentythrongspatemoundspile

Piles Jokes

I was sitting at the bar arranging peanuts into piles of 1, 3, 5 and 7.

The bartender asked me if I was trying to set up some odd joke. I told him “No, but I would have done that in my prime.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur with Piles?

Ihaveasoreass.

The missus keeps sorting coins into neat, separate denomination piles

I'm not sure if she has OCD or if she's just going through the change

A lawyer was working in his office when Satan appeared. "I can make it so you win every case in your career and make huge piles of money. In exchange you will give me your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, your parent's souls, your grandparent's souls and the souls of all your friends!"

The lawyer thought it over for a moment and then asked, "What's the catch?"

How do cows avoid stepping into their own piles?

They outmanurever them.

Many of my friends worry about little piles of rocks they have stashed all over the planet, but not me...

...I don't have a cairn in the world.

Why were Gandhi's remains compressed to make piles of 50 rupee coins?

he said "be the change you wish to see in the world".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two economists are walking in the park when they come across a pile of dog shit

One economist turns to the other and says, "I'll give you $500 if you eat that dog shit." Tempted by the sum, the second economist picks up the dog shit and eats it. True to his work, the first economist gives him $500 and they continue on with their walk.

After a while, the pair come across ...

Can’t believe what I saw in McDonald’s today.

An old man placed an order for one hamburger , French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half , placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries , dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front...

Whenever I receive a large number of resumes for a job posting, I seperate them into two piles...

Then I throw one of the piles in the garbage. I don't want to risk hiring someone unlucky.

I woke up this morning to find my patio covered in little brown squishy piles surrounded by little frog-like footprints.

I think they must be toad stools.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.