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Poach Jokes

I am disgusted by people who poach rare animals.

They are much better grilled.

I have a real problem with rhino poaching.

You have to get the pan custom-made and then it takes forever to get the water hot.

How much does it take to get arrested for poaching?

A couple of bucks.

Kudos to that guy who was able to poach deer

I can't even poach an egg decently.

A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.

A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.

He has two in his boat when the police approach him.

The man claims he's not poaching them and they are his pet lobsters, he's just taking them for a swim.

"I let them play in the water for a few minutes but when I whistle they ...

What's the difference between elephant poaching and Donald Trump?

One's a careless hunt...

I was about to tell some new jokes about the expensive eggs I bought

But before I could, someone poached them.

I’m strongly against elephant poaching.

It makes the meat stringy and tasteless, roasting at a medium heat for 40 minutes per pound yields a much better result.

Poaching defenseless, innocent wild animals is just plain wrong

They're much better roasted.

How to legalize animal poaching ?

Drop a kid in their zoo enclosure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting on the bank of a river with a turtle

And an officer from the fisheries board approached him. The officer says to the man "do you know it's illegal to poach turtles out of this river - they're an endangered species"?

The man says to the officer, "no this is my pet turtle. I bring
him down here everyday and let him go for a sw...

I just read that the poaching of elephants and rhinoceroses has dropped dramatically

I am pretty sure this is because roasting, or frying, them is a much tastier way to prepare them.

How about a blond joke. My cousin blond* was once asked at a restaurant if she wants her egg poached.

She promptly replied "isnt that illegal." True story too.

The police raided the kitchen of a restaurant where the chef was preparing Eggs Benedict

He was arrested for poaching.

How do dentists like their eggs?

Poached.

Technically, killing furries isn't manslaughter

It's poaching.

Tonight I made salmon for supper

As it was gently cooking in a warm bath of garlic, herbs, lemon, wine, and onion I got a visit from a Fish and Wildlife officer. He said “sir we have reason to believe that salmon has been poached”

Eggs have recently been added to the endangered species list

Due to excessive poaching.

How do Lions like their meat prepared?

Apparently poached.

Yet another genius Australian.

The Park Ranger had been trying to catch a guy for illegal crayfish poaching, so he hid behind a bush and waited. Along came the guy and soon after he pulled a crayfish from the billabong.

The Ranger jumped out and said “Okay Billy I am arresting you for stealing crayfish. “

Billy said...

Did you hear about the employee who was hired by a rival Egg packing factory?

You could say he was poached

They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them

I prefer mine poached!

Pet Lobsters on a Beach

A man is walking a long a beach with a bucket of fresh lobsters, when he is stopped by a local law enforcement officer.

"You cannot have those lobsters! We take lobster poaching very seriously."

"Oh, no sir, these are not poached. These are actually my pet lobsters. Every day I walk t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Father Conor is walking by the Shannon when he sees one of his congregation fishing...

He stops for a chat, and mentions that he's never fished before. 'It's a doddle,' says the angler. 'Take a rod and give it a go.'

'Well, I suppose the blessed Saint Peter himself was a fisherman. Perhaps I'll try my hand,' says the priest.

Father Conor sits down and casts his line. Aft...

Think of all the new jobs Trump will bring to America:

Wall builders, death squad patrollers, bounty hunters and immigrant poachers.

R/jokes

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no,"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up

A man wakes up in a dimly lit room with three doors. On each door, there is a picture of a different type of food. The first door has a picture of eggs, second has a picture of cereal and the third has a picture of beans.

The man decides to try the first door, so he opens it. Behind it is a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Grandpa, tell the story again when you broke a duck's neck with your erection at your brother's wedding!"

Well, children, the year was 1922. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching ...

Aboriginal Rituals

A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren't available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenar...

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