Electrocute Jokes

Ohmmmmm

When he left he was discharged

A train conductor ends up killing two people while on the job. He is found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. When the day comes, he is asked what he would want for his last meal, and he requests a banana. After finishing his meal, he is strapped to the chair and electrocuted. However, by s... read more

It hertz

The parents are in shock

A Serj Protector

His dad finally grounded him


.

Ground him until he can conduct himself properly.



First word in title should be "your"

Police are still looking for leads.

That Hertz!

How do you current-ly feel?

I'm kind of shocked

Watt, I didn't hear you

I said it hertz a lot

You'll get charged with hummuscide

He got charged with battery.

Some things you just can't let go

He shorted Tesla

It was a turtle disaster.

Because he completed the circuit.

I was shocked twice.

The answer may shock you.

he had injuries of 60 hurts

Unfortunately he was a great conductor.

He died before he even knew watts up.

Now, he's a Volt-Hare

Ground Beef.

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric cha... read more

Because he was grounded!


(I'll see myself out)

They are so electrocute

He made a device to electrocute himself... He was shocked when it failed.

.. you risk getting electrocuted.

There, the devil informs him that every country has its own hell. However, as he had dual citizenship, he could choose which Hell he wanted to be sent: American Hell or Cuban Hell.

He visits the American Hell first. At the door, he finds George Bush Senior.

“Excuse me, mr president, ... read more

As he was electrocuted in 1989, they are fairly certain he has cooled off by now.

3 of them are best friends and one weekend they decided to go to town to have a drink and inadvertently got drunk to a point of blacking out. Upon waking up they found themselves arrested, guiltily charged of a crime and sentenced to death by electrocution. The priest is strapped to the chair
... read more

Two guys meet up in a bar.

The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb,... read more

But I gave her the live instead and electrocuted her…

She decided to take a bath after a long day of testing. Unbeknownst to her, her roommate had a fetish of putting a 9-volt battery in the bath to give herself a small electric shock.

This time, however, she left it in the tub. The college girl decided she wanted to put some soothing bath salts... read more

So there were three friends talking about the intelligence of their dogs, to which one says:

My shepherd dog not only took care of my sheep when I left but also sheared them once a year.

The next says:
Ha! Mine was so smart that all he left to do was to bark.

The third sobbin... read more

They say to the first one "you can choose how you want to die: shot, hanged, or with the electric chair". He says "getting shot is too violent, and I don't want to be hanged. I choose the electric chair". He sits on it, but when they turn it on the electric chair doesn't electrocute him, so he is le... read more

...when santa landed on our roof.

The slippery condition were quite treacherous,

as a reindeer missed its hoof.

Santa and his reindeers came sliding down.

I would've laffed if it was a clown.

One by one, they got tangled in the lights,

and came crashing down... read more

(TL;DR at bottom, it's a long joke)

So a Russian train engineer is barreling down a track, and doesn't slow down for three people crossing, killing them instantly. He gets the electric chair as punishment. For what should be his last meal, he asks for a banana. He gets his request, and is ele... read more

His original name was Con Dria, but soon he went by a different name in his gang. They called him Mighto, and he was the thug that did most of the crimes. From dealing drugs to robbing to Kidnapping. He did whatever was necessary to help out his gang.

However, after he accidentally ran over ... read more

His parents never told him how his grandpa had passed, so he walks around the funeral party asking for clues.
"He was at the gym" said one friend, but grandpa had a strong body and heart thought the grandson.
"It was in the bathroom," said a cousin quietly, but he would say no more.
"It was... read more

There was once a train operator who had been driving trains for well over 20 years. Over the course of his career, he had experienced a number of close calls in the accident department. At long last, sadly, he hit a schoolbus full of children on its way out of the elementary school parking lot, kill... read more

He was very cruel and bad. Once as he was backing up his car, he rode over a little girl, killing her, but he didn't care. He was caught and sentenced to death by the electric chair. He was seated in the chair, the switch flipped, he was electrocuted, but amazingly he didn't die. So he was let to li... read more

Two friends are chatting in a pub.

- Have you heard that Mike died yesterday?

-- Oh no! What happened to him?

- He was about to pass our house driving his car when he crashed into a parking car on the side of the road, broke through the wind shield, flown through straight in our... read more