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I never order shrimp-fried rice.

Call me old fashioned, but I like my food to be prepared by a human.

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The Japanese-American was a long-time customer at

this Greek restaurant because he had discovered that they made especially tasty fried rice. Each evening he'd come in he would order "flied lice."

This always caused the Greek restaurant owner to nearly roll on the floor with laughter. Sometimes he'd have two or three friends stand nearby ju...

Language Lessons

Two restaurants face each other across a city street. Every day the owner of the Greek restaurant, Nick, brings out his specials board, looks across the street at the Chinese restaurant and calls out to the owner:

"Hey, Chan! What comes with your specials today?"

"Flied lice!"
<...

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An Oriental man was sitting in a restaurant in Chinatown when a Jew suddenly came up and tipped a bowl of fried rice over his head.

"That's for Pearl Harbour" , said the Jew.
"But I'm Chinese", cried the man. The Jew was unrepentant. "Chinese, Siamese, Japanese, you're all the same!" At this, the Chinaman picked up his plate of sweet and sour chicken and threw it over the Jew.
"That's for sinking the Titanic", shouted the...

I went to the Chinese for a take away last night, I ordered chicken chow mein, egg fried rice and Singapore crispy noodles. The bloke tipped it all loose in to a carrier bag. I said what the hell are you doing?

He said we're not allowed to put Chinese in a container anymore.

A young Chinese couple got married.

In the hotel room that evening, the bride blushed demurely: "I am very shy. Please, husband, tell me what to do."

The husband, a gentle and thoughtful young man said: "Why don't you tell me what you might like to do?"

The blushing bride hesitated before replying: "Well ... husband, uhm...

A Chinese restaurant owner arrives home very drunk.

He crawls into bed next to his wife and shakes her awake, whispering, " Hey honey, how about a little 69?"

She jumps out of bed, livid, and yells at him, "You come home at 3am, stinking of whiskey, wake me up, and have the nerve to ask me for some pork fried rice, chicken chow mein, and an eg...

Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner...

.... Luke scans the menu and sees his favorite egg fried rice so he say to R2-D2Ā ā€œOh Iā€™m definitely ordering that!ā€Ā Sure enough when the waiter comes along he orders the egg fried rice and a few other side dishes.

Now Luke is absolutely starving, so as soon as his meal arrives he picks up the...

I asked the asian restaurant what the smallest portion of rice they had

They told me shrimp fried rice

Itā€™s my first time in court and the The judge said ā€œORDERā€!

And I quickly replied ā€œfried rice, spring rolls and orange juice- now two policemen are escorting me outside and I think we are going to a restaurant :)

Last night I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69...

She made me sweet and sour pork with fried rice.

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Four men are sitting on a high construction site...

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, an English man, and an Australian.
They have just sat down at the top of the construction site for lunch.

Upon opening his lunch box the Chinese man exclaims,

"Fried Rice, again! If I have Fried Rice again tomorrow, I'm going to jump."

Th...

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A man walks into a restaurant

A man walks into a restaurant at lunchtime and is accosted by three women by the door - one Chinese, one Japanese and one Korean.

"Hey guy! Try the barbecue pork fried rice! Number one dish!" proclaims the Chinese woman.

"No no, you want the unagi udon! Best taste!" yells the Japanes...

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A Chinese couple on their wedding night...

...were getting ready to consummate the marriage. As virgins, the man and the woman start talking about what they want to do.

"Honey, what would you like to try... I'll do anything that you might enjoy", says the husband.

"I'm not really sure", says the wife shyly, "but my friends...

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