Ever read The Catcher in the Rye?

Or are you holden on for a better time to read it?

I'll have a club sandwich on rye.

Hold the mayo. Cuddle the mustard. Whisper soft words of confidence to the lettuce. Make love to the onion

My deli guy is very witty.

He has a rye sense of humor.

What kind of grass does matthew mcconaughey have in his yard?

“All rye, all rye, all rye”

What do you call bread baked by a poet?

Poet-rye

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rye Bread

A 77-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
His friend which was 70 years old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 77-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day.
It keeps your energy level high and yo...

Yo if bread could see,

would it have Ryes?

What is a Pokémon’s favorite type of bread?

Dark Rye

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Trump and Pence go stop at a local diner for breakfast.

The waitress greets the two and says, "What will it be today?"

Pence looks up from the menu and says, "I'll have two eggs, bacon, rye, and a coffee. Thank you."

The waitress scribbles on her notepad and turns to Trump, "and for you, Mr. President?"

Trump smiles at the waitress a...

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A man walks into a sandwich shop

He asks for a BLT on rye, pays for it and leaves. The next week he does the same and the week after that as well. Years go by and the man still comes for his weekly sandwich and is now a recognized face at the restaurant and is a friend of the owner.

One day the owner asks him, "Why don't yo...

I was thinking of making puns about grain...

But most people can *barley* stand it.



Yes, I know. That was pretty *corny*. You're probably thinking, "*Rye* did you do this?" I'm probably going too *farro* with this. I'm sorry

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TANJOOBERRYMUTTS

By the time you read through this you wil understand 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS'

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service in a hotel ...

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye...

What's an Italian baker's favourite book?

*Focaccia in the Rye*.

Why did the Italian baker close shop?

Everything went a rye

You know, being unsure if I'm a plant is actually pretty cool.

Am I rye?

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices large sign on the wall:

$500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER!

When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant dung on rye.

She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose!

The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer's table, sla...

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Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Di...

What would a literary person call a bot-test in a wheat field?

Captcha in the Rye.

The Baker

A Baker specializing in making Rye bread is disheartened. He works long hours and while his wages are decent, they are nothing special. He wants to strike it rich and make something of himself.

He hears that a lot of money can be make for trapping in the Canadian wilderness so he sells his ba...

My Chinese gave me a confectionary made with an unusual flour.

The cake was a rye

Three ducks walk into a bar...

The first duck walks up to the bar and the bartender asks "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" the first duck replies "My name is Bill, I'll have a rye and coke, and I had a GREAT day! I was in and out of puddles all day! Splashing around, gettin' wet, having fun!"
The se...

Soviet joke

Three men have to share a hotel room in Chelyabinsk during a congress. Naturally, in the evening, they start drinking. One thing leads to another, and they find themselves telling political jokes. Concerns that any of the others may be KGB informants or that the room may be bugged are readily dissol...

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A cowboy walks into a deserted saloon...

And there's no tinkling waltz on the piano, no gentle buzzing about the days activities, it's empty. A mournful bartender polishes an immaculate glass and halfheartedly waves away a fat, clueless fly.

The cowboy sidled into a stool and fished a coin out of his pocket. He flicked it with his t...

Did you hear the two slices of bread broke up?

I wonder rye.

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag

And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread?

Flour power

And when a lot of people do it at the same time?

a rye-ot

How do bakers deal with tough problems?

They ryes to the occasion and dough not quit.

A String Walks Into A Bar

He says, "hey bar keep, I'll have a beer". The bartenders sternly replies, "we don't serve strings here". The string walks away discouraged.
He comes in a few days later and tries again, "hey bar keep, I'll take a rye". The bartender, more aggravated replies, "I told you, we don't serve strings ...

Why didn't Bono sell any wheat bread at his bakery?

Cuz it's all rye, it's all rye, it's all rye.

The Bakery

There once was a father and son who owned a bakery. Ron Sr and Ron Jr.

They made pastries, bread loaves, and even a few sandwiches. Their most popular item on the menu was rye bread.

One morning, their oven stopped working. They were both panicking.

Shortly after they realized t...

Did you know that 90% of all dog in South Korea are inbred?

Most commonly it's whole wheat or rye

Two Jewish brothers go to see the Pope...

This was the last joke told by my great grandfather before he died.

Two Jewish brothers who owned a very successful bakery, Rosen's, went to see the Pope.

They got through to his chamber, and the Pope asked what he could do for them. They said, "We have an offer for you. We will pay yo...

Did you hear about the baker that failed at making white bread?

It went a rye.

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Every Flavour of Ice Cream

Heard this joke from my dad when I was 13. One of my favourites.

A guy walks into an ice cream store that claims to have every ice cream flavour. The guy wants to test the store and see if they really do have every flavour. He asks the server "do you have strawberry apple." The server repl...

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