UPJOKE
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Incomplete Jokes

Before I met my wife I was incomplete…

Now I’m finished.

RIP Norm Macdonald

There are two types of people in this world: One, who can extrapolate from incomplete data,

Two.

I got a job making incomplete clocks

It’s only part time

The Institute of Incomplete Studies (ISS)

determined that 7 out of 10 people

What’s the difference between “incomplete” and “finished”?

**What’s the difference between “incomplete” and “finished”??**

A man without a wife feels incomplete. Once married, he’s finished.

Researchers at Institute of Incomplete Statistics inform that

9 in every 100 people

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Toy Story felt was so incomplete.

Who let the sex toys out?

What did the incomplete skeleton say to the restaurant waiter?

"Got any spare ribs?"

A man's life is incomplete until marriage.

Then he's finished.

Many people who get something that’s incomplete will worry.

But the man who buys a guitar with no neck does not fret.

How did the lumberjack know his lumber delivery was incomplete?

He kept a log.

What’s the difference between Jonestown and an incomplete joke?

One of them has a punchline.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lack of sex has been making me feel incomplete. Then a girl let me touch her bum.

It’s the closest I’ve felt to hole in a long time.

Why is the alphabet of a pirate incomplete ?

Because they lost an I.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Teacher asks students to use incompletely in a sentence

A teacher asked the students to use incompletely in a sentence. One student raises her hand and says " my homework is incomplete". The teacher says " close but I said to use incompletely". Little johnny raises his hand but knowing little johnnys tendencies the teacher was afraid to call on him. ...

When I'm away from my girlfriend, I feel incomplete...

... But I love it when we're together again, because she makes me feel hole.

A small collection of my favorite science jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”

 

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

Jokes without punchlines are pointless,

and incomplete sentences are annoying,
but together

Was cleaning out our attic today when I found a dusty old Rolling Stone Magazine. One of the articles was about the late great singer Sam Cooke and had a photo of his report card from school.

History ~ Incomplete

Biology ~ Incomplete

Science ~ Incomplete

French ~ Incomplete

What do you call a hoe with no legs?

An incomplete thot.

Fast Food Fury

My fast-food order arrived but it was incomplete. I was missing my fries. They had no more ketchup. They ran out of napkins. And the cashier said, “I can’t give you a lid for your drink or you won’t be able to drink it,” and she pointed at the previous customer holding a drink. That is when I threw ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is working in the shoe factory

A man is working in the shoe factory, talking with his supervisor from across the line. As he works on the incomplete shoe, he strikes up a conversation with his boss. "Anything new in your world Bob?" he asks. "Yeah, actually! I just finished my degree and am starting a 2nd job as a therapist!", he...

Unconditional love

Repost due to incomplete joke, if anyone wants to trim it or change it for the better feel free:
I was watching Jimmy Kimmel and discussing where to go for lunch with my girlfriend when the topic of “unconditional love” was brought up. I nodded and told her “…of course I love you and you love...

Nine out of ten people...

...at least according to the University of Incomplete Researches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob had one hand and was depressed.....

Bob felt inadequate because he was missing a limb. He always felt incomplete and insignificant.

One day his friend, Fred, took him to a park and they noticed a person with no arms dancing around like crazy.

Fred shamed Bob regarding his outlook on life and said he should be more like t...

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