A frog goes into a bank for sizable a personal loan.

He finds himself at the desk of a man with a name plate that reads "J. Paddywack: Sr. Loan Officer"

Paddywack says, "This is quite an amount you're asking for Mr..."

"Richards," the frog says, "My dad, Keith, said you'd be able to help me."

"Um...yes. Do you have any collateral?...

I put down a sizable deposit on a new Mercedes yesterday.

That’s what that snooty dealership gets for telling me their bathrooms are for customers only.

Got fired today because I fell for a scam asking me to wire a sizable amount of company money to a foreign bank account.

If that hadn't been stupid enough, I also confused the foreign bank account with my own.

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There once was a man in a happy marriage, save for one aspect - his member was so sizable he could not fully insert himself into his wife without causing her pain.

One night, this frustration boiled over, and he headed out to find a bordello - surely, if he was to find a woman to accommodate his size, it would be there.


As he walks into the parlor, he eyes a man behind the counter and tells him his troubles. The man says, "Well, that's a pickle, but...

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An old man is sitting with his grandson in his hunting cabin...

Among the walls are the mounted heads and pelts of animals he had taken down over the years.

The boy points to a sizable pair of antlers, and says "Wow Grandpa, those are *big* antlers!"

"They sure are. That deer was a majestic creature," the old man responds.

The boy then poin...

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A woman was in a coma for months.

Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. 

They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable movement. 

They went to her husband and explained what ha...

Moishe the actor

Moishe, a Jewish actor, is so down and out, he's ready to take any acting gig that
he can find. Finally, he gets a lead, a classified ad that says, "Actor Needed To Play
An Ape." "I could do that," says Moishe.
To his surprise, the employer turns out to be the Central Park Zoo in New Yor...

The Zoo Joke (Long)

So there's this zoo, and this zoo isn't very affluent, but, if someone visits the zoo, it is definitely to see their gorilla.

One morning, the workers come in early to open the zoo like normal and find, to their great sadness, that their famous gorilla has died of old age. The zoo staff are ...

English Weather

I just read something about weather in England:

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as _'English Weather'._

In order to no longer offend a sizable portion of the UK po...

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A woman and her bets

A withered old woman was trying to convince the president of a very high-end bank to give her a sizable loan. The man refused, because she was unemployed.
"I'm not unemployed," she said, "I'm a professional better."
The man, intrigued, asked her what she meant.
"I make bets for a living. ...

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The avid fisherman. NSFW

A man checks into the the office at a fishing lodge in the Scottish highlands. After being given the key to his cabin he asks that he be given a 6 am wakeup call because he wanted to get started as early as possible.

The next morning after a quick breakfast he strides out of his cabin and pas...

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A man and his penis.

A man had a problem with his penis since birth. It was related to the size, but unlike many humans who feel they are too small, his was far too large! 25 inches to be precise. Constantly he would have women run screaming from his bedchamber. So one day he decided he'd had enough of this, and went on...

Twelve.

A man is walking down the street alongside a sizable construction fence. It's at least 8 feet tall, and it runs the whole length of the block.

About 3 steps deep, he hears a quiet voice saying

"Twelve. Twelve. Twelve." He thinks it odd, but continues walking. Almost immediately, he h...

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