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Sparrow Jokes

Jack Sparrow was talking to Forrest Gump.

Jack asked, "Do you know what a pirate's favorite drink is?"

Forrest thinks for a second, and says "Hi-C?"

Jack shakes his head.

Forrest thinks again and says "Oh, I know. It's Arrrr-Sea Cola."

Jack shakes his head again and says "Rum, Forrest. Rum".

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Sparrows

One late Fall morning at sunrise three tiny sparrows sat on a telephone wire overlooking a country road. The freezing wind blew, the wire swayed uncomfortably, and the tiny birds were cold, hungry, and pathetic.

As the sun rose, a pony clip-clopped along the road below and dropped huge pile ...

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Once upon a time, there was a little sparrow who decided to be different from all the other birds by not flying south for the winter.

Needless to say, it soon got so cold that the little bird reluctantly started south anyway. A storm blew in, the little bird grew cold, and ice formed on his wings which caused him to fall to the ground in a barnyard. A cow wandered by and shit on him. This may seem terrible, but it warmed the po...

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A motorcyclist and a sparrow

A motorcyclist was driving along a highway when suddenly a sparrow hit his helmet when trying to fly across. The motorcyclist struggled to control his motorcycle and almost crushed but eventually he managed to stop. Nearby he noticed the sparrow that looked dead but after an examination it turned ou...

what did Captain Jack Sparrow say when he got home?

"ARRRGGG! She shipped my bed!"

What would be most recent addition to the villains defeated by Captain Jack Sparrow ?

yes, you heard it right

What happened when the sparrow flew into the electric fan ?

Shredded tweet.

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The Irish Millionaire

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.

"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything i...

I treat women like Jack Sparrow treats rum.

I never have any

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...short story..

Last night I was watching an old Stalone / Banderas / Moore movie - Assassins, where Julianne Moore is telling a nice and old story that is worth following...

Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so c...

Did you know things are so bad that even Capt. Jack Sparrow has had trouble making ends meet?

He can barely afford to keep a skeleton crew.

I just read a Pirates of the Caribbean story where Jack Sparrow had missile launchers on his ship.

It was non-cannon

What do you call a bird that hits the gym?

A jacked sparrow!

What do you call the High Sparrow who is caught molesting kids?

The Deviated Septon.

An amateur birdwatcher and a professional ornithologist are observing the same patch of the forest floor.

There’s a break in the canopy above them, so there are dozens of birds congregated to soak up the sunlight. The scientist is eagerly taking notes and muttering to himself, “28…29…30… there’s 31 distinct species all in this one clearing! It’s amazing!”

The birdwatcher tells him, “No, they’re a...

Bernie Sanders looks and sounds like the High Sparrow from GoT, but that's an unfair comparison.

By next season, Reddit will still remember the High Sparrow.

Amber will always remember this as

The day she almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow

What weighs 6 ounces, sits on a tree, and highly dangerous

A sparrow with a machine gun

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Four physicians are out in a field...

... a general internist, an emergency physician, a surgeon, and a pathologist. They see a bird fly overhead.

- The internist says "looks like a sparrow, sounds like a sparrow, its probably a sparrow.'

- The emergency physician says "it's not a falcon, it's not a hawk, I'm not sure ...

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A caterpillar is looking at a flower bud [NSFW]

On the lowest branch of a tree, there is a caterpillar looking at a bud. Hungrily, it says: "I'll be damned if don't eat this bud. But I'll wait until it has bloomed so that I can go and fill my belly !!" and then it waits patiently for the bud to bloom.
Higher on that tree, a sparrow is looking...

A man is on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and is at the million dollar question.

The question is "which of these birds doesn't build its own nest? a.the cuckoo b. the sparrow c. the eagle or d. the red-tailed hawk. He only has "phone a friend left", so he calls his friend and repeats the question. His friend immediately says it's the cuckoo. The guy asks if he's sure and he says...

Who knew what blondes know?

It was a typical night of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire:

Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend.”

“The next question will give you the top prize of $1 million dollars,
if you get it right. But if you get it wrong, you will dr...

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Paddy is on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire "

and he is doing rather well. He is at the final question for a million pounds with Chris Tarrant (The UK host), he has only one life line left....phone a friend.

The question comes: "Which bird does not make a nest?,:

A) a Sparrow, B) a Swallow, C) a Blackbird or D) a Cuckoo

Pad...

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The Russian Winter

One cold winter night in Russia, a small sparrow was wandering along the middle of a snowy road looking for warmth. After many hours of struggling through the frozen wasteland, it finally collapsed in the middle of the rode and began to freeze to death.

Just as the bird was about to lose cons...

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Isn't that some shit!?

One day all the sparrows got together to fly south for the winter, the one little sparrow tells his buddies he's not ready to fly quite yet and to go on without him. About a week later it starts to get cold out, so the sparrow figures he better start his journey.
As he is flying south it starts t...

A biker is travelling on the highway...

...suddenly, a sparrow crosses his path, and he has no time to avoid it. He sees in his mirror the poor little creature bounce on the pavement, then fall on its back.

Feeling guilty, he stops and picks up the unconscious bird. He gets home and put it in a cage with some bread and water.
...

Captain

Met an old sailor once in a bar. Sat and talked for a while and asked him if he heard of Jack Sparrow. Suddenly he started telling me about how in Jamaica, beef pies cost $1.50. Goat pies cost around $2 and apple pies are about $2.50.

In Trinidad the prices are roughly the same. Cheese and o...

Who wants to be a Millionaire?

A lady is on "Who wants to be a Millionaire" and she has already won $500,000. She is on her last question with only the phone a friend left.

Chris Harrison: You can leave now with $500,000 dollars, or you can try for the million. If you fail to answer this last question you lose all your mon...

"The Frogs in Prague Defy Catalog"

According to a research team at Charles University in Prague, the local amphibians have very peculiar migratory habits. In recent years, a new sub-species have been identified which is not native to the area around the Czech capitol. The research has been carried out with the help of many students a...

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