UPJOKE
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What's the difference between ducklings and dumplings?

Well if you eat a duckling it doesn't get to develop into a duck.

What happened when the duckling fell in the tea cup

He quacked it…

What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling?

One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler.

You know the story of the ugly duckling?

Pretty fowl story

I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant, thinking about how duckling means little duck.

So, I canceled my order of dumplings.

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A man is sitting on a park bench, eating his lunch

When suddenly a duckling walks by, and the duckling is completely covered in shit. The man feels bad for the little duckling, picks it up, wipes it clean with a tissue and lets it walk again.

A second duckling walks by, again, covered in shit. The man feels bad and again takes a tissue and w...

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What does Gordon Ramsey shout when he sees a baby duckling gif on Reddit?

IT'S FUCKING r/aww !

What's a duckling's favorite drug?

Quack Cocaine.

A duckling joke

Why do baby ducks walk softly?

Because they can't walk, hardly.

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A little duckling got lost...

...and is walking all alone across cold and misty farmland in the early morning.
A farmer -hard at work already- suddenly notices the little duckling and sympathizes with its plight.
He looks around and sees a fresh steaming cow pie. He doesn't hesitate a moment and picks up the little ducklin...

So I was petting a duckling the other day...

you could say I was feeling a little down.

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A little boy sitting in an aeroplane looks out of the window and asks his mother...

"If big ducks have small ducklings and big cats have small kitties, why don't big planes have small planes?"

The exasperated mother tells her son to ask this question to an airhostess.

The boy calls for an airhostess and asks, "If big ducks have small ducklings and big cats have small ...

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There's a little known legend about the Brothers Grimm: they wanted to write a story to rival The Ugly Duckling. For 'research' purposes, they bought a hundred ducks and released them into a cave..

..planning to return years later to document their behavior. Unfortunately both passed away before that, and the project was forgotten.


This information came to light hundreds of years later in 2>!XXX!<, during an investigation into strange quacking noises and numerous missing p...

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A man walks around in a forest...

He sees a duckling covered in shit. The man feels sorry for the little bird and grabs a tissue to clean it.

The man proceeds to walk when he comes across another duckling covered in shit. The man starts to question what's going on, and again, cleans the little duckling.

After walking...

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What is yellow and turns red when you push the button?

Duckling in a blender.

A little boy gets on the public bus and sits right behind the bus driver.

The boy keeps repeatedly saying," If my mom was a cow and my dad was a bull, I'd be a little calf.…"


"If my mom was a hen and my dad was a chicken, I'd be a little chick. If my mom was a deer and my dad was a buck, I'd be a little deer. If my mom was a duck and my dad was a goose, I'd...

There once was a man who lived in a little hut down by the lake.

Every morning he would wake up at sunrise and go down onto the docks to feed the baby ducklings.

Each day he would bring exactly 6 slices of bread down one for each baby duckling. But as summer was starting to come to an end the man thought the ducklings could use more food.

So he de...

Uncle's support animals.

This Christmas my uncle (who is a pyrotechnic) brought with him 3 yellow ducklings with orange mohawks. He calls them "Firequackers."

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A man is discovered dead in a public sauna with his son.

After close examination, the coroner informs the detective that the man apparently died from bleeding profusely from his genitals after they were brutally mutilated. As the little boy was the only person in the room with the man at the time, the son is interviewed by the detective.

"Son, I kn...

A duck went on vacation and stayed in a nice hotel. [NSFW?]

A duck went on vacation. He flew in and got a room at a really fancy hotel. He had some time to kill, so he went down to a bar. While he was there, he met a beautiful woman. He started talking to her. Things were going really well, so he asked her if she wanted to head back to his hotel room. She sm...

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Heard this on the radio... told many times, but probably my favorite joke.

One morning before daybreak, Little Johnny scatters out onto the front porch with a handful of duck tape. He's stopped by his grandfather, who rests comfortably on an old rocking chair... his usual morning leisure. The grandfather notices the duck tape...

&nbsp;

"Whatcha doin' wit...

On a warm summer morning, a family of ducks and a family of skunks are crossing a country road when...

without warning, a car barrels over a hill and into the path of the animals wiping out both families except for one baby duckling and one baby skunkling. The pair hightail it off the road and find refuge in a hole in a tree. They decide to stick together and support each other in order to survive. T...

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