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So a farmer wakes up one morning and looks out the window and sees his prize rooster laying in the middle of the barnyard stiff as a board with buzzards circling overhead.

With his only rooster dead, he decides to go to the market to buy a new rooster. At the market he sees a stall with a very nice looking rooster and he asks the seller how much he wants for the rooster and the seller tells him $1000. The farmer is absolutely shocked at this price, but the seller tell...

A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."

The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture -- soon, he's b...

Buzzards on a plane

Two buzzards were at the check in counter at their local airport answering the usual questions. The desk agent finally noticed the piece of rotting gazelle they had brought with them.

"Are you going to check that?" the agent asks.

"No. That's my carrion."

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One day, buzzard and rabbit were talking.

The buzzard says "Rabbit, I'm tired of the country life. This hard work is not for me. I'm going to move to the city and get rich." So buzzard packed up his things and moved to the city. In fact, he stayed true to his word and made it big. He bought a luxurious mansion just outside of the big city...

What do buzzards in Kansas eat?

Carrion, my wayward son.

Why didn't the buzzard have any luggage on the airplane?

Because he ate his carrion.

A buzzard carrying two dead badgers tried to check in at the airport for his flight.

The gate attendant told him, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion."

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The Horny Rooster

Horny Rooster

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.

When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for ...

A Raven and a Buzzard...

A raven and a buzzard are both sitting on a fence by the side of the road.

The raven says to the buzzard "why did the chicken cross the road?"

The buzzard replies "I dunno, I suppose we were just lucky."

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Hi, my name is Rico the Rooster, and I’m a sex addict.

Over the course of 12 months, Farmer Ted saved every penny that he could to purchase the prize winning rooster known as Rico. Little did he know, Rico the rooster was a sexy addict. Farmer Ted returned home from the prize winning rooster auction and began to introduce his farm animals to Rico, as so...

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A farmer was looking for a new rooster as his old one after many years of faithful service had finally passed on.

When he told his neighbouring farmer about the problem he said "I have just the rooster for you , but I have to warn you Ron is one horny goat of a rooster". How horny can a rooster be the farmer said to himself. "OK sure I'll buy him off you". When the farmer got back to the farm with Ron the roost...

Why did the eagle spare the mouse's life?

He couldn't be buzzard to hunt it.

Why California is broke and Texas is not.

The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor's dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.<...

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My Rooster Ramón

I used to have a Mexican rooster named Ramón. He liked to have sex with anything that moved. I kept telling him that all this boning was going to kill him one day. Ramón just laughed about it and kept giving the animals the chorizo. Yesterday, I walked outside and saw Ramón lying flat on his back wi...

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A farmer buys a rooster for his hens but with a warning from the seller...

A farmer needs to buy a rooster for his hens but the seller warns him that the rooster is unusually amorous and will attempt to copulate with any living creature.

Since the farmer is in dire need after a few foxes have made off with his previous roosters, he takes the risk as part of the bar...

Use Your Lifeline...

A contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? had reached the final plateau. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) t...

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The Rooster

There was this farmer who had a bunch of chickens but he couldn't ever get any rooster that would have sex with the chickens. So when he was in town one day, he told some people about his problem and one guy said, "I've got a rooster I can sell you, and he'll screw every last one of your chickens." ...

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A fellow is standing at a urinal, doing his business.

A second person enters the mens room and quickly approaches the urinal next to him, then proceeds to just stand there. The fellow casts a glance sideways to see what is going on.

He sees a young man with no arms standing and looking forlornly at the urinal. His little arm nubs stick out of hi...

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Brewster the Rooster

Saw a post today about a kid with a rooster named Brooster and remembered this old joke.

A farmer decides he needs a new rooster so he can expand his chicken coop, so he buys the most virile one he can find and names him Brewster. Within a day, Brewster has impregnated every hen the farmer ow...

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Rooty the Rooster [NSFW]

Farmer John found himself in a bit of a rut. His crops weren't yelding like they use to, cattle prices had hit an all time low, and he was really strapped for cash. After discussing it with Mrs. Farmer John, they decided to salvage what they had, sell the farm, and move to greener pastures. He kisse...

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Sex mad rooster!

There is this farmer and one day he goes into the chicken coop and the rooster says to him "dude I am gagging for a fuck" so he takes the rooster into the hen hutch next door and closes the door, moments later there is a huge commotion, feathers fly out the window there is raucous clucking and crowi...

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