An English Lord of the Manor returned home early from his grouse shoot to find his wife having sex in bed with his best friend, the local MP.
‘How could you, Miranda?’ he cried. ‘After everything I’ve done for you. I’ve given you this beautiful house, I’ve always provided you with the most expensive clothes and jewels, I bought you a Ferrari for your birthday, I’ve tried to be a kind husband, and this is how you repay me!’
A man walked into a Star Wars museum
...carrying an old rusted bucket by his side and demanded to know who was in charge.
"What can I help you with today, sir?" asked the confused curator.
"This here is an authentic piece of European history and once belonged to the King of England 1000 years ago."
A man is up in court on a tricky litigation case, and his lawyer has warned him that the judge is very strict and correct. “He won’t stand for any nonsense and he knows all the tricks!”
“Well, would it help if I sent him a brace of grouse and a bottle of whisky?”
“Absolutely not!” says the lawyer. “He’s as straight as a die and completely in-corruptable!”
Come the day of the trial, the man wins his case easily, and afterwards says to his lawyer, “I knew that whisky an...
Vegan lady and a butcher
A vegan lady went on a blind date with a man. She asked him what do you do for a living. He said he is a butcher. The lady said "eww that's grouse". The butcher replied "a person who sells vegetables is grocer".
The Lord of the Manor
The Lord of the manor returned from his grouse hunt quite a bit earlier than expected. He entered the master bedroom to change, and found her Ladyship making passionate love to Sir Reginald Carpley. The irate Lord stood stiffly and loudly berated his wife for her infidelity.
With thunder in h...
Pulled this Dad joke...
on my Dad as we were elk hunting this year. We were driving down a dirt road and kept seeing a bunch of sage grouse (also known as a sage chicken) running on the road.
Dad, why did the grouse cross the road??
To get to the other sage.