A pack of geese is a gaggle

But a pack of camels is why my dad never came back

What do you call a city filled with protesting geese?

Honk Kong

Why do geese use Head&Shoulders shampoo?

What’s good for the goose is good for dander

What do you call a family of geese crossing a road?

speed bumps

I use geese to spread the right political messages

It's a proper gander

It's not winter until the geese are done flying...

And the tweakers strip all the copper out of air conditioning units.

When geese are flying in a V, why is it that one side is always longer than the other?

There's more geese on that side

what do farmers say when they let geese and ducks out?

release the quacken!

I saw a bunch of geese and ducks on the lawn in front of the Tyson processing plant. Initially I thought of how horrible it was that they were there flaunting their freedom to the condemned chickens, but then I thought no.....

it's just fowl behavior.

What did the Brazilian pig say to the Canadian geese?

I'm pork you geese!

A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."

The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture -- soon, he's b...

Theodore was feeding geese when his friend David walked by

Say there, Theodore, what are you doing?"

"Why, I'm feeding these here geese, David."

"I can see that, but why do you keep staring at the bread crumbs?"

"Well, David, what's good for a goose is good for a gander."

A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...

Critics are referring to it as proper gander.

How is a flock of geese like an airplane full of encyclopedias?

They're flying in-formation.

I’ve been looking to get rid of some male geese.

Would you like to take a gander?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a group of crows is called a murder, a group of geese is a gaggle, but do you know what a group of humans are?

Assholes. Just a bunch of assholes. Everyone of them.

"Why do you enjoy running geese over in your car?"

"It gives me Goose Bumps!"

Why was the detective concerned when the baseball team of all geese won the World Series?

He suspected fowl play.

Two geese walk into a bar...

Maybe one of them should've ducked.

I think that the geese in Canada are racists.

They kept yelling honk eh’ honk eh’ honk eh ‘!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a young cock

As soon as he gets it home, it fucks all the farmers 150 hen. The farmer is impressed. At lunch the cock again screws all 150 hens.

Next day, its fucking the ducks and the geese too. Sadly later in the day, he finds the cock lying on the ground half dead and vultures circling overhead.
...

Whats the difference between a murder and Hamlet performed by geese?

Nothing, they're both fowl play

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Know why geese kill more humans every year than sharks?

Because it's really hard for geese to kill sharks.

Seriously though, fuck geese.

What language do Brazilian Geese speak?

Portuguese

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the goose cross the road?

To go be a dick to someone else.
Geese are dicks

A flock of geese passes by overhead, in class 'v' formation.

Dad: Do you know why one side of the 'v' is longer than the other?

Son: No, why?

Dad: Because it has more geese.

A gaggle of geese, a brood of hens, what do you call a group of turkeys?

A corporation.

Canadian geese are very easy to find...

They are always saying sorry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gaggle of geese, a pride of lions...

... and here's how we might classify these groups:

- a brat of boys
- a giggle of girls
- a tedium of accountants
- a stitch of doctors
- a whine of losers
- a jerk of politicians
- a stagger of drunks

How do black geese call to white geese?

HONKEY! HONKEY!

What do you feel when you accidentally run over and kill a group of geese crossing the road?

Goosebumps

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pub joke in the style of Geoffrey Chaucer - Bill Bailey

Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe,
And gleefullye their handes did rubbe,
In expectatione of revelrie,
For 'twas the houre known as happye.
Greate botelles of wine did they quaffe,
And hadde a reallye good laffe.
'Til drunkennesse held full dominione,
For 'twas tw...

What do you call 2 ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese?

A paradux

[TIL] The scientific reason Canadian geese flight pattern is always more geese on one side.

Geese can't count

Kenny the Rooster

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer says, “Yep, I’ve got this great rooster, named Kenny. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.”

Well, Ken...

Why did the flock of geese cross the road?

Because they were afraid to fly United.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"Did you know that geese kill more humans than sharks each year?" the guy asks the bartender. "Yes, but let's be fair about it," the bartender replies. "It's really hard for a goose to kill a shark."

A guy walks into a bar

and he can’t believe his eyes. There, in the corner, there’s this one-foot-tall man, in a little tuxedo, playing a tiny grand piano.

So the guy asks the bartender, “Where’d he come from?”

And the bartender’s, like, “There’s a genie in the men’s room who grants wishes.”

So the gu...

What did the Brazilian goose on the balcony say to the squirrel passing by?

I don’t know, I don’t speak porch of geese

What do you call a patio covered in waterfowl

a Porch-o-geese

So Roy Moore and a little girl walking through a scary Forest

The little girl turns to him and says, "Geese mister I'm really scared!".

And he says " How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a cock to breed his hens...

The first day the cock fucks every hen of the farmer.
Needless to say the farmer is amazed.
The second day the cock fucks every hen plus the geese.
Needless to say the farmer is impressed and a bit worried about the cock...
Then, at the evening of the third day the cock is laying motio...

If a very social person is called a "people person"...

Then wouldn't a very social goose be called a "geese goose"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken farmer buys a new rooster. . .

And he's assured by his friend who sold it to him that he's the perfect breeder.
Feeling a little sceptical, the farmer still takes the rooster back to his farm. No sooner then putting the rooster is let out of his box then it runs into the barn and starts having sex with every hen it can find....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a young rooster

As soon as it comes home, it screws all the 153 hens...
The farmer is impressed thinking about the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the young energetic rooster again screws all the 153 hens.

The farmer got tensed up now. Next day, he finds the rooster screwing the ducks & the gee...

A vulture and his son

A long time ago, in a very flat place, there lived a teenage vulture named Red. He and his father were the only vultures around, and dined on the various animals that were hit by trucks on the highway. As most teenagers do, Red eventually got tired of his diet of dead things.

"Dad" he whined....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Son, what do you say when there's more than one goose?"

"Geese."

"Very good. What do you say when there's more than one cow?"

"Cows."

"Excellent. What do you say when there's more than one spider?"

"Shit!"

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

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