This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call a bar where the saxophonist, trumpet player, and flute player all have sex with each other on stage?

HornPub

How do you make a flute player a percussionist?

Put another useless stick in their hand.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news.

The good news is that you are going to be OK.

The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to r...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Just had a dream that reads like a joke.

A guy had an accident that severely hurt his penis, and was recovering at the doctor's office.

Doctor: "Your situation is very serious. I'll have to bring in a specialist."

Patient: "What, a surgeon?"

D: "No, a flute player."

P: "A flute player?! Why?"

D: "They'll ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A band teacher is giving a quiz to her class where you have to guess the name of a famous song based on a clue.

She starts with the easy clues: "Comedian".

"The Entertainer!" one of the flute players says immediately.

Then the teacher goes to a slightly more difficult clue: "Metal container is able to".

"The Cancan!" a saxophone player responds instantly.

Pleased with the results s...

So there was an angry band director...

His band wasnโ€™t super good, but they managed. One day, they were rehearsing, when a flute player messes up a part. They keep messing it up, and he gets so frustrated he stabs the flautist to death with his baton.
He goes to prison, and gets sentenced to death by electric chair. Before he goes in...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The Hunting accident

While out on a hunting expedition, a man is climbing over a fallen tree when his shotgun goes off, hitting him straight in the groin. Rushed to hospital , he awakes from the anaesthetic to find the surgeon has done a marvellous job repairing his damaged member. As he dresses to go home, the surgeon ...

Just some jokes about musicians.

How do you know the stage at a concert is level?
Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth.

What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
Homeless.

What do floutists eat for breakfast?
Flute loops.

How do you tune three oboeists?
Shoot 2 of them.
...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Two buddies go duck hunting...

Two buddies go duck hunting. They had been hunting for a while when one had to take a dump. So he leans his shotgun up against a fence and goes over to take care of business. Suddenly a strong gust of wind comes along. It blows his shotgun over and it accidentally discharges and shoots him right in ...

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