UPJOKE
vishnuvasudevabalaramabhagavad gitamahabharataavatargopallakshmiradhagopijagannathaharivamsabhagavata puranadevakivaishnava

Krishna Jokes

i always thought it'd be fun to be a Hare Krishna

it's so unfortunate I never got the chants

I went to a Hare Krishna restaurant because word was out that they had the best steak in town

I had a wonderful meal and true to reputation, the steak was indeed phenomenal. As I finished, the waiter brought the bill in a little folder so I put $100 in to pay. He promptly took it to the register while I waited patiently for my change. Fifteen minutes later I'm still waiting so I call the ...

I met a rabbit chanting a mantra of peace and consciousness.

"*Hare* Krishna"

So, the Pope dies and goes to heaven...

He approached the pearly gates as angelic music plays around him and soft light baths him.

Knocking, he is surprised when Hari Krishna open the gate to him.

"Hello. Who are you?" He says in a thick Indian accent.

"I'm the Pope."

"Great. What is a Pope?"

"The head...

Just now, from my dad: Have you heard the new Christmas carol from India?

We Vishnu a Merry Krishnas.

My family issues

So I've always had a rocky relationship with my brother. But to be fair he was always a little unusual. When he was 16 he shaved his head and got tattoos all over his face. When he was 18, he legally changed his name to Radio. He got some plastic surgery done and filed his teeth and became a Kris...

Lord Krishna walks into a bar…

Bartender says, “Why so blue?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is actually a true story told by a psychiatrist in Sri Lanka, which my father told me. I have changed some names to make it more universal...

Dr. Chandra the psychiatrist was talking to a patient in his ward who was convinced he was a Buddha. The man sat cross-legged on his bed in an apparent meditation posture when Dr. Chandra came to interview him.

Dr. Chandra: so you believe you are a Buddha?

Patient: that is so

D...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some Religious Truths

TAOISM: Shit happens

ZEN BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?

PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else

ATHEISTS: Shit happens for no apparent reason

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens/ Shit happens/ Happens, happens/ Shit happens

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say...

Two boys

A Catholic boy and a Hindu boy were talking about religion and the Catholic boy said, "My priest knows more than your Krishna."
The Hindu boy said, "Of course he does, you confess to him everything.

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