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Films Jokes

what do you call someone who films spices?

A cinnamon-tographer!

My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films.

He forgot to show Up.

Rick Astley will give you any of the Pixar films in his collection.

Except for Up.

Why are there not many films about Abraham Lincoln?

He doesn't do well in theaters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddy sent me some pornographic films in an email attachment.

Sigh *unzips*

I love the new trend in streaming films; the hero always gets the girl in the end.

And he’s never sure which end.

Hugh Jackman films a movie in the Swiss Alps and loses his Dell laptop.

Just when he thinks it's lost forever, he is grateful to see it found, in the hands of a yodeler who tells him:

"Your Dell lay here, Hugh!"

People usually hate on horror films, but the thing is...

A great example of the genre and a fantastic film overall

My next door neighbour has been in a few films

She'll be furious if she ever finds out

A man working a 9-5 office job starts feeling worthless and decides to make a career change into the adult film industry

He starts off with vanilla stuff and builds up his self-esteem. He then decides to go for the more fetishized stuff and gets cast making incest films as the role of step-dad.

He wakes up one day and realizes how happy he's become since he started coming into his own.

I’ve been watching a lot of Wild West films lately.

I can’t help but think a lot of conflict and bloodshed could have been avoided if the cowboy architects had just built the towns big enough for everyone.

I liked the Harry Potter books and films but...

I think the character Nearly Headless Nick was a bit poorly executed

I watched the Harry Potter films for the first time at the weekend

They were okay, but a bit unrealistic: a ginger schoolkid with two friends?

What do the films 'Titanic' and 'The Sixth Sense' have in common?

Icy dead people.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is retiring from doing films.

He already has a new gig in mind. He wants to be an exterminator.

A blonde girl sets out to prove blonde aren’t dumb

A blonde girl rents out a stadium and invites as many blondes as she can and sure enough 80,000 blondes fill the stadium and she films it all on live television. She invites a little 4 year old girl out in front of everyone and asks her “what’s 2+2?” The little girl shivers and squeaks out “T-three?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't remember much about the films I made working in the Japanese porn industry

It was all a blur.

Films used to be called vmoies...

...but now they movie.

A clever Russian is planning on a streaming service exclusively for banned films.

He's going to call it Nyetflix.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like those black and white films where no one says anything

Interracial Porn

A man goes to Blockbuster and starts looking at films

He goes through different genres until he stops at superheroes and ask to the shop assistant:

\- Could I rent "Batman Forever"?

And the shop assistant replies:

\- No, Batman returns always to the shop

I absolutely hate screening films for the Grasshopper Film Festival

Everybody's a cricket.

Matthew Broderick has just announced a sequel to one of his biggest films!

He'll play Iron Man's nephew who skips school to go on a wacky adventure in Chicago with his friends!

Its called "Ferrous Bueller's Day Off".

Best films of all time Lord of the rings and the Hobbit trilogies...

Now that's what I'm Tolkien about.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An atheist dies, goes to hell, and finds himself in a lush park with butterflies.

His physical body has transformed back into its prime and he's then greeted by Satan who says "Why hello there! Welcome to hell. Let me show you around, you're gonna love it here."

Satan points to a nice house and says "what do you think of this house?" The atheist replies "It's beautiful, I ...

Just bought a set of twelve Steve Martin films at 75% off.

They were cheaper by the dozen.

I'm pretty sure I've figured out my neighbour's 3 favourite films

* 10,000,000 Explosions

* Army Guys Yelling at Each Other

* Subwoofer: The Movie

Rick Astley came to my house today to get some films for his kids.

I said " you can have the lion King and cinderella, but I'm never gonna give you Up"

I like watching horror films behind the sofa.

That way my neighbours don’t know I’m there.

Last night, my wife and I watched 4 films back to back

Luckily, I was facing the TV

Blue films are the most Positive Movies....

No violence , No conspiracy, No Cheating... !!
Lots of Love & always a very Happy Ending for all Characters!!
Lots of religious reference "oh god, oh my god, oh my god"
Good co-operation, Good co-ordination, natural acting, No language problem...And the best part the actor's as well a...

There is at least one great philosophy in each of Brad Bird's films

The Incredibles: "When everyone's special, nobody is."

Ratatouille: "Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere."

The Iron Giant: "Screw our country, I want to live."

What do you call a lumberjack who directs gothic films?

Timber-ton.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BBC News: "Illegally downloading pirated films is costing hundreds of millions of pounds a year"

Fuck, what site are they downloading them from? It's free for me..

James and giant peach should have been serialized into a number of films.

Dave and the giant strawberry.
John and the giant cantelope.
Your mom and the giant cucumber.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to see a night of XXX short films!

Imagine my disappointment when it was just 30 Roman movies.

My friend keeps hiding Disney films in my lunch.

I'm fed up.

A piece of retconned canon from Star Wars has a danger of causing glaring plotholes in upcoming Disney films and series.

It's what is known as "a loose canon."

An Interviewer goes to take the interview of a famous Film Critic .

The critic says that he had watched almost all the films in the world ,which were from all the countries in the world.
The Interviewer asks him whether he knew some Spanish films , and if he did, to name them .

He replies by saying he does and gives the names of some famous Spanish movi...

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