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Felonies Jokes

I was looking up the history of past US Presidents and I realized a startling fact.

Statistically, an American President has been indicted on an average of more than two felonies.

What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies?

I don't know; they were speaking Spanish.

The news is talking about the prison sentences of nearly half a dozen turban-wearing men who committed some minor felonies

"One to Three for Five Sikhs"

Driving Questionnaire

A man had recently moved and was filling out forms at his local police station:

Q: Has your driver's license ever been suspended or revoked?

"No, never."

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a DUI?

"Oh yes, lots of times!"

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a driving...

A lot of women watch “Fixer Upper”...

...and think they can apply it to an industrial painter with multiple felonies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The worst line to start a sexting session with

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit.

These are their stories.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man finally get out of jail...

...after spending 28 years on the inside for multiple felonies. And just like any other male that hasn't touched a woman after 28 years, he wanted to get some ass. Unfortunately this guy had gotten taken to jail with only $40, so that is what he had when he was released.
Without wasting anytim...

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