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Contraband Jokes

Mother

Flying home from France on a recent trip I noticed a rather haggard looking mom walking into the customs area with eight children-- all under age 10. Collecting their many suitcases, the nine of them entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched the large entourage in disbelief,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was disappointed when they asked me if I knew how to fly a drone..

They wanted contraband, I thought they wanted nudes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man

at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds.
The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it."
The stranger says, "How about 20?"
The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it."
The stranger says, "How about 10?"
The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth ...

A rich lady hires an old mountain guide for a climbing trip in the Alps

One day, as they cross into Switzerland for more climbing, they are stopped at the frontier by a custom agent. He makes them open their bags and, with Swiss serious and thoroughness, inspects the contents of the lady's bag first.

He immediately finds 6 pairs of panties and cries:

"Ha! ...

What do you call a Konami game in jail?

Contraband

A man lives in a border town between the US and Canada

He lives on the Canadian side, but works in construction on the US side. Every morning, he walks over to the American side, and every evening, he comes back over to the Canadian side with a wheelbarrow full of sand. And, every day without fail, the Canadian Customs officers check him for any contrab...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The principal confiscated my CD's and microSD full of songs from 1980's shoot-em-up video games, specifically the ones mentioning eagles.

He said it was illegal contraband.

Two guys are stuck in prison.

Desperate to get back out and perhaps lead semi-regular lives, the two cellmates try to brainstorm for an escape plan. A mere hour and a half later, one of the men comes up with a plan: steal some children's craft scissors, smuggle them back to the cell, cut through the floor, and cut out a tunnel b...

So there's the two guys...

One plays a contrabass saxophone and the other plays a contrabassoon. They decided to get together and start playing music for the local townspeople. After a couple months of working up their reputation and getting a few more gigs at some fairs and carnivals, they decide to go big with their talent....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the Custom

There is this young boy living in the border of Venezuela. He is a well known trouble maker and he is well known with the police and the custom officers.

One day, the boy is crossing from Colombia to Venezuela on a bicycle with 2 bags of sand at the back.

The custom guard know this boy...

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