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Feelings Jokes

Why do physicists never share their feelings?

Because their feelings have no matter.

For those of you with feelings of paranoia that you are being watched:

I want you to know that you are not alone.

My wife minored in psychology. She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.

When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, be...

I wanna tell my girlfriend she's using way too much teeth when she goes down on me, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

How do I soften the blow?

My girlfriend apologised for not giving me an erection

I told her there were no hard feelings

Asparagus is an interesting meal, not only does it affect your diuretic system, it also helps with hunches and gut feelings.

When you eat asparagus, you can trust urine stinks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Occasionally, I get really strong feelings to go have sex in the ocean...

...comes in waves.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In my past life, I was a message delivery man in an army base

One day, I got a letter for Bravo Company, and took off to deliver it as quickly as I could. When I found them they were doing exercises in one of the yards, I walked up to the sergeant to deliver the message.

He took the letter, read it over, folded it and put it in his pocket. Then he yell...

What flows through Ukraine and doesn't care about your feelings?

Crimea River

I am a sea of feelings.

An emocean.

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