UPJOKE
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Complex Jokes

In an apartment complex, a beautiful woman and three men live

One day, the woman is taking a shower, when one of the men knocks on her door. She recognizes his voice as that of the football player, so she puts on a towel and sees what he wants.

Football player: great news! My team won the game!

Woman: that’s very exciting! Congratulations!
...
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I have an inferiority complex

....But it's not a very good one.

:(
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Short chefs may not have Napoleon Complexes...

But they sure have complex Napoleons.
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What do you call a complex dog?

An elaborate-dor
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Sometimes I think I have a superiority complex...

But then I realize I’m better than that.
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A mathematician asks his coworker to solve a complex equation for him.

After some struggle, the coworker finds that he can't figure out the answer in just one day, so the next day he tells the mathematician that he'll need two more days to find a proper solution.

Two more days pass and he still can't solve the equation, so he goes back and asks him for just thre...
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Elevators are more complex than you think.

They work on so many levels.
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Instead of a Handyman, my apartment complex has a Handywoman.

She's a bit of a pothead but damn good at her job. Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke with her but I declined cuz I can't stand high maintenance women.
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Jack: "I heard you started a rumor that I have an Oedipus complex, Steve. Fuck you."

Steve: "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Why are relationships complex?

Because you're real, but your girlfriend is imaginary
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I have a fear of overly intricate buildings.

I have a complex complex complex.
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My relationship with my girlfriend is quite complex.

I'm the real part.
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I heard the Russians are serving their soldiers complex dishes to eat

The plates are real. But the food is imaginary.

Sorry, horrible math joke.
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Dihydrogen Monoxide is a complex term that can confuse many people

But to make it simple, it really just boils down to steam.
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A man is running late to an interview and is waiting for a taxi outside of his apartment complex.

If he nails the interview it can land him a very high paying job that can change his life.With no taxi in sight the man starts to get desperate. He looks up and says "God please please help me get a taxi. I know I haven't been an exemplary human but please I need this break at this point in my life....
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I have an apartment complex

I'm very insecure about mine
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What happens if you multiply faeces by the complex conjugate of faeces?

Shit gets real.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?

One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
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A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment complex on his own. He proudly went down to the foyer to put his name on his mailbox.

While he was there, a stunning young blonde came out of the apartment and walked down to the mailboxes, wearing only a bathrobe.

The young man smiled at the woman and she started up a conversation with him.

As they talked......her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had noth...

A creationist told me that evolution must be wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics

His claim was that in order for simple organisms like bacteria to evolve into much more complex life like fish and mice and horses and gorillas and people, an enormous input of energy would be required, therefore it must be impossible.

I stayed up all night trying to think of something that w...
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The poor man lives in an apartment complex

The rich man finds it quite simple
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People say I have a superiority complex.

But just because I am better than everyone else does not mean I have a superiority complex
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Do you have an Oedipus complex

Because you seem like a real motherfucker

Why weren’t the ghost parents accepted in the new housing complex?

Because they were Trans-parent
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This really hot chick in my apartment complex told me she wants us to be "friends with benefits".

Does anyone know where I can purchase a group health insurance plan?
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What do you call particularly complex stairs?

Stairs with extra steps.
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Race is a complex issue

It's not just black and white
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Two nuns are remodeling a new complex for the blind.

They are painting and get really hot and decide to take off their habits. A little bit later due to the heat they decide to just get completely naked and paint. Later that afternoon there is a knock on the door, in a panic the nuns ask "who is it?" Man replies "blind guy". They breath a sigh of re...

Why did big bird develop a complex?

Because he was ostrich-sized.
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There's a technique in theoretical physics that models complex systems as spherical cows.

The Your Mom approach.
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I have an inferiority complex.

I’m twice as good looking as I think I am.
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I found out a package thief is in my apartment complex so I ordered a butt-plug off Amazon

That way if it gets stolen, then the thief can go fuck themself

I’m an atheist with a god complex

I don’t believe in myself
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The Complexities of Language

So on the first day of class, a Havard language professor says: "In English double negatives can become positives. But in some languages, like Russian, a double negative stays negative. But there is not one language in which a double positive becomes negative."
Then a student in the back shouts "...
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I get annoyed when people say that us programmers have a superiority complex.

It's not a complex, you idiots
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Hitler's diet was the result of an inferiority complex

He was never going to be a true Aryan, but he could at least be vegetaryan.

I have a God complex

Since I'm able to recognize that, that makes me better than other people with God complexes
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There's a primate military-industrial complex, you know

They engage in gorilla warfare to preserve the interests of monkey business
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What's the main similarity between a morgue and an office complex?

Both are good places for a stiff to go.
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The complex mathematics of the bus driver

Imagine yourself being a bus driver.

At stop number 1, you get 10 passengers.

At stop number 2, you get 3 passengers.

At stop number 3, 4 passengers get off, 2 male 1 female.

At stop number 4, 11 passengers got on.

At stop number 5, 6 passengers get off, 2 kids, 4...
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The brain is one of the complex things in the universe.

It’s no wonder why so many never learned to use it.
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Complex numbers are complicated.

Please tell me I’m just imagining things.
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One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead

You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.
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The other day, my friend told me he thinks he has delusions of an Oedipal Complex.

I called him a paranoid motherfucker.

Cross dressers are like complex films.

They might take more than one viewing to truly understand.
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Donald Trump really is America's first complex President

... even his IQ has an imaginary component.
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An oligarch, a theocrat, and two architects of the prison industrial complex walk into a bar...

Sorry, I misplaced my notes. Those are just the choices for the US Presidential election.
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Did you know that wombats are capable of complex mathematical operations?

They can cube the number 2.
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There is no I in Complex Numbers

I guess that's why I failed this class.

Why are complex villains always buried 15ft down?

Because deep down, they’re very good people.
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The nun told me I have a god complex...

I responded to the bus driver, "It's not that complex. I'm god."
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I was gonna tell a joke about napoleon complexes...

But it fell short.
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It’s only natural that all politicians have a God complex.

They haven’t done anything in ages, they give all the best jobs to their immediate family, and no one really believes in them.
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Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.
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Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause
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As I write this I'm trying to assemble bicycle wheels using quite a complex process.

Damn, I spoke too soon.
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My wife told me you've aged like a fine wine. More complex, more flavoursome, increased sweetness. Overall tastier

But with more body
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What is the principle argument for a complex pirate?

Arg!
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Some people tell me I have a superiority complex.

But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it.
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A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian, "The book I borrowed last week was just awful. It had absolutely no plot, and the vocabulary was too complex!"

The librarian calls into the back room, "Hey, we found the lady who took our dictionary!"
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Did you hear the joke about thr guy with the Midas Touch and an Oediupus Complex....

It's pure, motherfucking gold!

What do you call the anxiety you feel when you’re in a maze of buildings?

A complex complex complex
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I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex.

She asked if I was serious. I told her, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you."

Complex numbers are all fun and games....

....until someone loses an i....
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I told my psychiatrist that I can only get high if I take THC gummies with my mom.

Apparently I have an edible complex.
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How many Mexicans does it take to replace a serviceable part of a complex machine?

Just Juan and Emmanuel.
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I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings

Apparently it's an Apartment Complex
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I think I have an infallibility complex

I've never been wrong before.
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I can't stand the people I work with. They're all narcissistic and have superiority complexes.

I mean, I know I'm better than all of those assholes.

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*
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A property manager for an apartment complex dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter.

St. Peter tells him "You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding."

So he chooses to check out hell first. He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and ...
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They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex.

It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs.

Dogs and cats both have a god complex

A dog looks at you and says, "this person feeds me, cleans up after me, and puts a roof over my head. He must be a GOD!"

A cat looks at you and says, "this person feeds me, cleans up after me, and puts a roof over my head. I must be a GOD!"
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I am irrationally scared of places like shopping centres, particularly if they are confusing and difficult to navigate.

I have a complex complex complex.
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[nsfw] Totally legit, but you can use a joke if you want to.

**Scene:** I was living in an apartment complex where all the bedroom windows faced into a small courtyard of sorts, walled on three sides with 3 stories of bedroom windows. None of the apartments in this complex have air-conditioning. It's close to midnight, December in Sydney AUS, it's a hot humid...

God the Engineer

Three engineers are having lunch and discussing what kind of engineer God is. The mechanical engineer says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look at the complex structures of the body!" The electrical engineer says, "No, look at the electrical processes of the body, which the brain could no...
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My doctor told me I'm suffering from a Superman complex.

But I couldn't stay for long, so I had to fly.
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I don't know why they call it the Oedipus Complex.

Banging your mom seems fairly simple.
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I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. That’s not a very complex peom.

But it’s pretty deep.
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Studies show the effects of divorce on young children are complex.

Sadness and anxiety are common, but many are just happy to be single again.
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On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:

On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

She...
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My psychiatrist told me my superiority complex turned into a delusion of inferiority.

Great. Now I'm the least of my problems.
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A Texan buys a round of drinks...

.. for all in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just gave birth to "a typical Texas" baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Congratulations resounded. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How mu...

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A guy moves into a new apartment complex and decides to throw a party to meet the neighbours.

He decides the theme of the party is to dress up as a feeling (e.g. red for angry, blue for sad, etc).

The party is going off without a hitch and he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door to find two Jamacian guys standing there stark naked.

One has his dick...

The most difficult, complex, confusing, controversial, enraging, emotional, and thought provoking question of the 21st century....

Are you male or female?
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