Instead of a Handyman, my apartment complex has a Handywoman.

She's a bit of a pothead but damn good at her job. Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke with her but I declined cuz I can't stand high maintenance women.

I have an inferiority complex

But it's not a very good one

I get annoyed when people say that us programmers have a superiority complex.

It's not a complex, you idiots

The poor man lives in an apartment complex

The rich man finds it quite simple

I have a fear of overly intricate buildings.

I have a complex complex complex.

There's a technique in theoretical physics that models complex systems as spherical cows.

The Your Mom approach.

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

People keep telling me I have a superiority complex. I don't think that's true

I'm just better than everyone else!

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The other day, my friend told me he thinks he has delusions of an Oedipal Complex.

I called him a paranoid motherfucker.

I have a great phobia

I have a great phobia of over-engineered buildings. It's a complex complex complex.

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Hitler's diet was the result of an inferiority complex

He was never going to be a true Aryan, but he could at least be vegetaryan.

Why did big bird develop a complex?

Because he was ostrich-sized.

Found these set of math jokes in an old notebook

Q. What is a PJ?

A. Poor Joke.

.

Q. What is P + iJ?

A. A complex joke.

.

Q. Why is the complex joke not funny?

A. Because the joke part is imaginary.

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Southern grammar: tied

Y'all might not know it, but southern USA grammar is more complex than up north. We have many different ways of using the same word, with completely different meanings.

Take the word "tied" for instance. You might say two people, or animals "tied up" which means they fought.

You could ...

I have a complex relationship

My girlfriend is imaginary

An oligarch, a theocrat, and two architects of the prison industrial complex walk into a bar...

Sorry, I misplaced my notes. Those are just the choices for the US Presidential election.

I’m an atheist with a god complex

I don’t believe in myself

This really hot chick in my apartment complex told me she wants us to be "friends with benefits".

Does anyone know where I can purchase a group health insurance plan?

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Do you have an Oedipus complex

Because you seem like a real motherfucker

Nobel award winning physicist and his limo driver

A Nobel award winning physicist, who was afraid of flying, was on speaking tour of the nation's top colleges. He travelled by limousine to each destination to give his speech. After two dozen engagements, the physicist and the limousine driver were having dinner before the next speech. The limousine...

Human Design

Three engineers went out for drinks after work. An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer. They rehashed their respective jobs, complained about the hours and all agreed about insane expectations and demands of clients. After a couple drinks they started loosening up, discus...

What's the main similarity between a morgue and an office complex?

Both are good places for a stiff to go.

What do you call the anxiety you feel when you’re in a maze of buildings?

A complex complex complex

Best joke for ages.

Stevie Wonder went to play a concert in China, and he began by asking if the audience had any requests. They shouted: "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"...

Stevie was a little puzzled, but he responded by playing an E minor scale, and then continued with a complex jazz melody that went o...

My relationship with my girlfriend is quite complex.

I'm the real part.

I have a superiority complex

It's the best superiority complex, better than anyone else's believe me.

On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:

On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

She...

The first rule of Condescending club......

is kind of complex, and I don't think you would understand it, even if I explained it to you !

I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...

I have a military-industrial complex.

The brain is one of the complex things in the universe.

It’s no wonder why so many never learned to use it.

What do you call particularly complex stairs?

Stairs with extra steps.

"What's the most complex thing you can do in your kitchen?"

"My wife"

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Geopolitics you need to understand.

Complex Geopolitics

The US has apologised to France and will likely bring them into AUKUS. Australia will be replaced and so the new alliance will then be known as FUKUS…

If Australia stays, then it becomes FUK-USA.

If Canada joins, it will be known as CAN-FUK-USA

If I...

Race is a complex issue

It's not just black and white

My wife told me you've aged like a fine wine. More complex, more flavoursome, increased sweetness. Overall tastier

But with more body

One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead

You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.

I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings

Apparently it's an Apartment Complex

Why does everyone keep saying I have a superiority complex?

Just cause I’m superior to them doesn’t mean I have a complex especially because I’m superior!

A retired Army General moves into a new apartment after quitting service.

Over the next few weeks, his new neighbors realized that on the weekends he would return to his apartment at 2am very drunk, remove his left boot and slam it on the floor, remove his right boot and slam it on the floor even harder and then go to sleep. Since the force of these thunderous slams was e...

There's a primate military-industrial complex, you know

They engage in gorilla warfare to preserve the interests of monkey business

The FBI, CIA, and Los Angeles Police get into a bragging war about their tracking skills.

To settle the matter they agree to a contest between their best units. Whoever can track down an elusive white rabbit in a ten thousand acre forest wins the contest.

The FBI organizes a vastly complex operation with dogs, forestry experts, sharpshooters, the works.

The CIA takes sate...

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A Dyre Predicament

"So kind of you to cruise by, Superman. How are the kryptonite shackles treating you?"

"You won't get away with this! Who are you anyway? I've never fought you."

"Oh, that's because I'm not a villain. And I intend to keep it that way, which brings me to the nature of today's exercise...

Did you know that wombats are capable of complex mathematical operations?

They can cube the number 2.

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True story about quick thinking as a dad:

When my kids were little they would visit grandma and her old wood floor gave them splinters if they were barefoot. Every weekend I would end up pulling splinters out of their toes and feet. They would howl something fierce but once the splinter was out they would be so glad.

Cut to a year l...

A property manager for an apartment complex dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter.

St. Peter tells him "You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding."

So he chooses to check out hell first. He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and ...

I hate people with superiority complexes...

I’m just so much better than them.

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A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment complex on his own. He proudly went down to the foyer to put his name on his mailbox.

While he was there, a stunning young blonde came out of the apartment and walked down to the mailboxes, wearing only a bathrobe.

The young man smiled at the woman and she started up a conversation with him.

As they talked......her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had noth...

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I can't stand the people I work with. They're all narcissistic and have superiority complexes.

I mean, I know I'm better than all of those assholes.

The Complexities of Language

So on the first day of class, a Havard language professor says: "In English double negatives can become positives. But in some languages, like Russian, a double negative stays negative. But there is not one language in which a double positive becomes negative."
Then a student in the back shouts "...

It’s only natural that all politicians have a God complex.

They haven’t done anything in ages, they give all the best jobs to their immediate family, and no one really believes in them.

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Did you hear the joke about thr guy with the Midas Touch and an Oediupus Complex....

It's pure, motherfucking gold!

The complex mathematics of the bus driver

Imagine yourself being a bus driver.

At stop number 1, you get 10 passengers.

At stop number 2, you get 3 passengers.

At stop number 3, 4 passengers get off, 2 male 1 female.

At stop number 4, 11 passengers got on.

At stop number 5, 6 passengers get off, 2 kids, 4...

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Two nuns are remodeling a new complex for the blind.

They are painting and get really hot and decide to take off their habits. A little bit later due to the heat they decide to just get completely naked and paint. Later that afternoon there is a knock on the door, in a panic the nuns ask "who is it?" Man replies "blind guy". They breath a sigh of re...

I was gonna tell a joke about napoleon complexes...

But it fell short.

I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. That’s not a very complex peom.

But it’s pretty deep.

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A visit to my grandmother

A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife:


"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.
There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, th...

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*

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Never multiply shit with its complex conjugate

cause if you do that's when shit gets real.

The nun told me I have a god complex...

I responded to the bus driver, "It's not that complex. I'm god."

Henry would have recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house

There was a man named Henry who would having recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house. While the nightmare would always end with the burglar failing to enter, Henry still feared that this could be an omen. Every morning after checking for signs of a break in and findi...

Donald Trump really is America's first complex President

... even his IQ has an imaginary component.

I have a God complex

Since I'm able to recognize that, that makes me better than other people with God complexes

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What do therapist and anarchists have in common?

They both want to help landlords get rid of their complexes.

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There is no I in Complex Numbers

I guess that's why I failed this class.

Why are complex villains always buried 15ft down?

Because deep down, they’re very good people.

'Time is certainly a very complex topic in physics, and there are people who believe that time does not actually exist. One common argument they use is that Einstein proved that everything is relative, so time is irrelevant'.

I said boldly to my boss! But he still fired me for being 3 hours late.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?

One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.

How many Mexicans does it take to replace a serviceable part of a complex machine?

Just Juan and Emmanuel.

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

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A guy moves into a new apartment complex and decides to throw a party to meet the neighbours.

He decides the theme of the party is to dress up as a feeling (e.g. red for angry, blue for sad, etc).

The party is going off without a hitch and he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door to find two Jamacian guys standing there stark naked.

One has his dick...

The biggest country on earth

There was a country known for its population being too snobbish, everybody there acted in a superior way and that was becoming a bad thing to international relationships. So the president of this country decided to make a pronouncement on TV to try to work around this situation. He started by saying...

Four buddies caught up for coffee many years after high school. Each bragging to the other how successful and wealthy they’ve become.

The first guy said, “See that bank building across the street? I am going to buy it within the next six months.”

The second guy then said, “See that hotel building next to the bank? I am going to buy it within the next month.”

Not wanting to lose out, the third guy quickly said, “See t...

Did you hear about the architect who had an unhealthy obsession with designing overly intricate shopping malls?

He had a complex complex complex.

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They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex.

It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs.

The most difficult, complex, confusing, controversial, enraging, emotional, and thought provoking question of the 21st century....

Are you male or female?

What is the principle argument for a complex pirate?

Arg!

Complex numbers are complicated.

Please tell me I’m just imagining things.

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Kim Jong Un was sitting in his office wondering whom to irritate next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Kim!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Kim replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said ...

Some people tell me I have a superiority complex.

But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it.

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I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex.

She asked if I was serious. I told her, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you."

I have an irrational fear of overengineered buildings arranged near each other

It's a complex complex complex

I have an irrational fear of modern architechture

My doctor says I have a complex complex complex.

My psychiatrist told me my superiority complex turned into a delusion of inferiority.

Great. Now I'm the least of my problems.

Complex numbers are all fun and games....

....until someone loses an i....

This is a complex joke

I named my plant polynomial but it never grew......


Coz it had imaginary roots

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John is making love with his wife

John and his wife are living in an apartment complex and they make love pretty regularly. Every night when they do it the wife moans uncontrollably.
One day, John's old neighbor, Peter approaches him.
\-Hey John, uhm, I don't know how to tell you this, but every night when you make love to...

What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex?

Tenants

Compared to planes, helicopters are extremely complex, and have to be crafted with inhuman precision...

It's a wonder they ever took off...

I did my nurse's training at a hospital in Liverpool, England.

My fellow students and I had little money for meals, so we ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. We often took our breaks in the kitchen, and sometimes kindly visitors would give us some of the treats they had brought for patients.

One night a woman brought a pork pie to the ki...

There are two types of people.

Some people only see black and white and refuse to acknowledge shades and complex non-straightforward situations, and the others... no, wait, I've changed my mind.

The other day I snuck a peek at my shrink's notes and I saw she'd written "MESSIAH COMPLEX" in big capital letters. It caught me off guard.

I've known I'm the messiah all of my life but I've never been called complex before.

I don't know why they call it the Oedipus Complex.

Banging your mom seems fairly simple.

Studies show the effects of divorce on young children are complex.

Sadness and anxiety are common, but many are just happy to be single again.

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a robot designed by the Military industrial complex?

I'd fuck the robot.

I think I have an infallibility complex

I've never been wrong before.

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