UPJOKE
compoundcomplicatedcompositecomplexityintricatestructureconstructionconvolutedlabyrinthinebyzantineknottyinterwoventortuousinterlockingtangled

In an apartment complex, a beautiful woman and three men live

One day, the woman is taking a shower, when one of the men knocks on her door. She recognizes his voice as that of the football player, so she puts on a towel and sees what he wants.

Football player: great news! My team won the game!

Woman: that’s very exciting! Congratulations!
...

A really hot gal in my apartment complex said she wanted us to be "friends with benefits"

Does anyone know where I can get a group health insurance plan?

A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian, "The book I borrowed last week was just awful. It had absolutely no plot, and the vocabulary was too complex!"

The librarian calls into the back room, "Hey, we found the lady who took our dictionary!"

Why did the boss have an inferiority complex?

He was ***short-staffed***.

I have an apartment complex

I'm very insecure about mine

I have an inferiority complex.

I’m twice as good looking as I think I am.

Dihydrogen Monoxide is a complex term that can confuse many people

But to make it simple, it really just boils down to steam.

Instead of a Handyman, my apartment complex has a Handywoman.

She's a bit of a pothead but damn good at her job. Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke with her but I declined cuz I can't stand high maintenance women.

Why weren’t the ghost parents accepted in the new housing complex?

Because they were Trans-parent

A creationist told me that evolution must be wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics

His claim was that in order for simple organisms like bacteria to evolve into much more complex life like fish and mice and horses and gorillas and people, an enormous input of energy would be required, therefore it must be impossible.

I stayed up all night trying to think of something that w...

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A man goes with a hooker…

“How much is it to do it at my place?” “It’s 500, but you come to my place instead.”

The man agrees. When they arrive, the hooker shows him the entire apartment complex and tells him: “See all these apartments? I bought them with this mouth!”

The man is amazed, and as they pass by to...

I get annoyed when people say that us programmers have a superiority complex.

It's not a complex, you idiots

I have a fear of overly intricate buildings...

I have a complex complex complex.

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SUMMER CAMP FOR Husbands. Evening classes for men. Starting this month.

*Summer camp*

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of the content, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.

*Topic 1.*
How to fill ice-cube trays and why to fill water bottles before putting them back in the fridge.
Step by step with slide pre...

People keep telling me I have a superiority complex. I don't think that's true

I'm just better than everyone else!

There's a technique in theoretical physics that models complex systems as spherical cows.

The Your Mom approach.

Why did big bird develop a complex?

Because he was ostrich-sized.

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The other day, my friend told me he thinks he has delusions of an Oedipal Complex.

I called him a paranoid motherfucker.

I am irrationally scared of places like shopping centres, particularly if they are confusing and difficult to navigate.

I have a complex complex complex.

Isn't it strange how sometimes a random 80s rap song will start playing in your head for no reason?

I guess we just have to accept that the brain is a very complex organ, because it's like that, and that's the way it is.

What's the difference between a car's rear bumper and a Facebook page?

One is a terrible place to express complex political opinion, and the other protects the rear of a car by absorbing shock in the event of an accident.

Jimmy needs an excuse for missing school

He decides to write a letter saying he was sick, but he needs a complex sounding sickness to convince his teachers that it was written by his parents. He googles for one, types and prints out the letter, and hands it to his teacher.

It reads: "Dear Mrs Chen, please excuse Jimmy from school. H...

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Do you have an Oedipus complex

Because you seem like a real motherfucker

I have a complex relationship

My girlfriend is imaginary

My relationship with my girlfriend is quite complex.

I'm the real part.

An oligarch, a theocrat, and two architects of the prison industrial complex walk into a bar...

Sorry, I misplaced my notes. Those are just the choices for the US Presidential election.

I’m an atheist with a god complex

I don’t believe in myself

What's the main similarity between a morgue and an office complex?

Both are good places for a stiff to go.

I have a great phobia

I have a great phobia of over-engineered buildings. It's a complex complex complex.

the tin can and the chalk stick

An engineer, a scientist and a mathematician are each sent in a room with nothing in it but a tin can and a chalk stick with the task to open the tin can in one hour.

The rooms are checked after one hour:

The engineer's room is covered in impact notches, with the successful one circled...

Theist: God is real!

Atheist: No, imaginary!

Mathematician: You make this needlessly complex.

What do you call particularly complex stairs?

Stairs with extra steps.

One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead

You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.

The brain is one of the complex things in the universe.

It’s no wonder why so many never learned to use it.

My wife told me you've aged like a fine wine. More complex, more flavoursome, increased sweetness. Overall tastier

But with more body

Race is a complex issue

It's not just black and white

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The Ice Sculpture contest [OC]

Once upon a time an elderly couple ventured to an old town with not many inhabitants. The town being located fairly high up north as well as the harsh winter season lead to it not being the most prosperous place at the current time. Everyone there was cold, hungry and they mainly kept to their own. ...

"What's the most complex thing you can do in your kitchen?"

"My wife"

On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:

On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

She...

A defense Lawyer was cross-examining a police officer

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who pr...

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A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment complex on his own. He proudly went down to the foyer to put his name on his mailbox.

While he was there, a stunning young blonde came out of the apartment and walked down to the mailboxes, wearing only a bathrobe.

The young man smiled at the woman and she started up a conversation with him.

As they talked......her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had noth...

A property manager for an apartment complex dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter.

St. Peter tells him "You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding."

So he chooses to check out hell first. He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and ...

The Complexities of Language

So on the first day of class, a Havard language professor says: "In English double negatives can become positives. But in some languages, like Russian, a double negative stays negative. But there is not one language in which a double positive becomes negative."
Then a student in the back shouts "...

As I write this I'm trying to assemble bicycle wheels using quite a complex process.

Damn, I spoke too soon.

Did you know that wombats are capable of complex mathematical operations?

They can cube the number 2.

There's a primate military-industrial complex, you know

They engage in gorilla warfare to preserve the interests of monkey business

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Two nuns are remodeling a new complex for the blind.

They are painting and get really hot and decide to take off their habits. A little bit later due to the heat they decide to just get completely naked and paint. Later that afternoon there is a knock on the door, in a panic the nuns ask "who is it?" Man replies "blind guy". They breath a sigh of re...

What do you call the anxiety you feel when you’re in a maze of buildings?

A complex complex complex

I hate people with superiority complexes...

I’m just so much better than them.

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Did you hear the joke about thr guy with the Midas Touch and an Oediupus Complex....

It's pure, motherfucking gold!

I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. That’s not a very complex peom.

But it’s pretty deep.

It’s only natural that all politicians have a God complex.

They haven’t done anything in ages, they give all the best jobs to their immediate family, and no one really believes in them.

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I can't stand the people I work with. They're all narcissistic and have superiority complexes.

I mean, I know I'm better than all of those assholes.

The complex mathematics of the bus driver

Imagine yourself being a bus driver.

At stop number 1, you get 10 passengers.

At stop number 2, you get 3 passengers.

At stop number 3, 4 passengers get off, 2 male 1 female.

At stop number 4, 11 passengers got on.

At stop number 5, 6 passengers get off, 2 kids, 4...

The nun told me I have a god complex...

I responded to the bus driver, "It's not that complex. I'm god."

I was gonna tell a joke about napoleon complexes...

But it fell short.

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Southern grammar: tied

Y'all might not know it, but southern USA grammar is more complex than up north. We have many different ways of using the same word, with completely different meanings.

Take the word "tied" for instance. You might say two people, or animals "tied up" which means they fought.

You could ...

Donald Trump really is America's first complex President

... even his IQ has an imaginary component.

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*

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Never multiply shit with its complex conjugate

cause if you do that's when shit gets real.

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An very old professor decided to undertake a research project...

He wanted to determine if a group of poorly treated, anti-social rats could develop friendly relationships with one another if they used team work to complete a complicated task.

At first, he set the rats a goal of stealing his colleagues stationary, without the colleague catching them in the...

I have a God complex

Since I'm able to recognize that, that makes me better than other people with God complexes

I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings

Apparently it's an Apartment Complex

How many Mexicans does it take to replace a serviceable part of a complex machine?

Just Juan and Emmanuel.

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There is no I in Complex Numbers

I guess that's why I failed this class.

'Time is certainly a very complex topic in physics, and there are people who believe that time does not actually exist. One common argument they use is that Einstein proved that everything is relative, so time is irrelevant'.

I said boldly to my boss! But he still fired me for being 3 hours late.

Why are complex villains always buried 15ft down?

Because deep down, they’re very good people.

Nobel award winning physicist and his limo driver

A Nobel award winning physicist, who was afraid of flying, was on speaking tour of the nation's top colleges. He travelled by limousine to each destination to give his speech. After two dozen engagements, the physicist and the limousine driver were having dinner before the next speech. The limousine...

Best joke for ages.

Stevie Wonder went to play a concert in China, and he began by asking if the audience had any requests. They shouted: "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"...

Stevie was a little puzzled, but he responded by playing an E minor scale, and then continued with a complex jazz melody that went o...

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?

One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.

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They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex.

It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs.

The first rule of Condescending club......

is kind of complex, and I don't think you would understand it, even if I explained it to you !

Found these set of math jokes in an old notebook

Q. What is a PJ?

A. Poor Joke.

.

Q. What is P + iJ?

A. A complex joke.

.

Q. Why is the complex joke not funny?

A. Because the joke part is imaginary.

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...

I have a military-industrial complex.

Human Design

Three engineers went out for drinks after work. An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer. They rehashed their respective jobs, complained about the hours and all agreed about insane expectations and demands of clients. After a couple drinks they started loosening up, discus...

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A guy moves into a new apartment complex and decides to throw a party to meet the neighbours.

He decides the theme of the party is to dress up as a feeling (e.g. red for angry, blue for sad, etc).

The party is going off without a hitch and he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door to find two Jamacian guys standing there stark naked.

One has his dick...

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause

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I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex.

She asked if I was serious. I told her, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you."

The most difficult, complex, confusing, controversial, enraging, emotional, and thought provoking question of the 21st century....

Are you male or female?

What is the principle argument for a complex pirate?

Arg!

Some people tell me I have a superiority complex.

But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it.

Complex numbers are complicated.

Please tell me I’m just imagining things.

Complex numbers are all fun and games....

....until someone loses an i....

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A Dyre Predicament

"So kind of you to cruise by, Superman. How are the kryptonite shackles treating you?"

"You won't get away with this! Who are you anyway? I've never fought you."

"Oh, that's because I'm not a villain. And I intend to keep it that way, which brings me to the nature of today's exercise...

The FBI, CIA, and Los Angeles Police get into a bragging war about their tracking skills.

To settle the matter they agree to a contest between their best units. Whoever can track down an elusive white rabbit in a ten thousand acre forest wins the contest.

The FBI organizes a vastly complex operation with dogs, forestry experts, sharpshooters, the works.

The CIA takes sate...

My psychiatrist told me my superiority complex turned into a delusion of inferiority.

Great. Now I'm the least of my problems.

A retired Army General moves into a new apartment after quitting service.

Over the next few weeks, his new neighbors realized that on the weekends he would return to his apartment at 2am very drunk, remove his left boot and slam it on the floor, remove his right boot and slam it on the floor even harder and then go to sleep. Since the force of these thunderous slams was e...

What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex?

Tenants

This is a complex joke

I named my plant polynomial but it never grew......


Coz it had imaginary roots

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Geopolitics you need to understand.

Complex Geopolitics

The US has apologised to France and will likely bring them into AUKUS. Australia will be replaced and so the new alliance will then be known as FUKUS…

If Australia stays, then it becomes FUK-USA.

If Canada joins, it will be known as CAN-FUK-USA

If I...

I don't know why they call it the Oedipus Complex.

Banging your mom seems fairly simple.

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a robot designed by the Military industrial complex?

I'd fuck the robot.

Studies show the effects of divorce on young children are complex.

Sadness and anxiety are common, but many are just happy to be single again.

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[Long] It's 1916 and the Germans have developed a new cipher that is proving hard to crack...

A rightfully annoyed British high command therefore advertises the job "military radio decrypter" in all the newspapers across the country and sure enough, some people attempt to apply for the job.

Outside the recruitment office there's a long line of men and women eager to help the war effor...

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A visit to my grandmother

A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife:


"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.
There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, th...

I think I have an infallibility complex

I've never been wrong before.

My doctor told me I'm suffering from a Superman complex.

But I couldn't stay for long, so I had to fly.

Four buddies caught up for coffee many years after high school. Each bragging to the other how successful and wealthy they’ve become.

The first guy said, “See that bank building across the street? I am going to buy it within the next six months.”

The second guy then said, “See that hotel building next to the bank? I am going to buy it within the next month.”

Not wanting to lose out, the third guy quickly said, “See t...

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