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Exception Jokes

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Once there was a women's bowling team. Everyone on the bowling team was so-so at bowling, with the exception of two women.

One of the two women was named Martha. Martha was absolutely abysmal at bowling. Every single game, she got at least nine gutter balls.

The other woman was Linda, and she was the best player who had ever set foot in the bowling alley. Every time the team won a bowling match, Linda was r...

I have a joke about the exceptional healthcare and medicine Trump took to recover from COVID.

But, no one else would get it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a little old man who was in very good shape but noticed one morning that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis…

So he went to the beach, completely undressed and buried himself in the sand except for his penis.

Just then, two old ladies were strolling along the sand one walking with a cane. Upon seeing this thing sticking out of the sand she began to move it about with her cane, remarking to the other ...

The phone bill was exceptionally high...

.... so the husband called a family meeting to discuss the issue.

Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone.

Mum: Me too. I hardly use our home phone. I use my company's phone.

Son: I always use my office mobile, I never touch the home phone.
...

When I left school, I passed every one of my exams with the exception of Greek Mythology.

It always was my achilles elbow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered.

She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him.

Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to...

There's an exception in the breaking and entering laws for people coming in through the chimney

It's called the Santa clause

There’s always an exception

*usually

My exceptional memory allows me to memorize a sequence of more than a million numbers

1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

A guy is talking to a barmaid with an exceptionally large chest...

After an awkward pause the barmaid says "Excuse me sir, my eyes are up here"

The man replies "When you've got something written on your t-shirt, people are going to read it."

The barmaid says "Yes, but you've been staring at my chest for the past minute, what's your problem?"

Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said she wanted to see me all the time, without exception, butt naked.

Turns out she meant "but naked".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Italians have always copied good inventions from other cultures and made them exceptional

Beretta took Walthers's designs and made them sexy

They discovered noodles from china, removed the dog, and created pasta

They stole the idea of arches from the Etruscans and built colosseums and aqueducts

They took the gladius from celt-iberians and conquered the world with it<...

Fred goes to a doctor.

He says, "Doc, I want to be castrated. "

Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation. "

Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5...

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American

She shares the joys of being a part of the greatest country in the world, and asks her students to raise their hands if they are or want to be American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however,...

A group of professors were called and sat on a plane

When the doors closed and the plane was about to take off, all the professors were informed that the plane was made by their students. Then all the professors rushed towards the plane doors, trying to escape with the exception of one professor who remained seated with so much confidence and calmness...

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I had 12 bottles of whisky...

I had twelve bottles of whisky and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else there'd be hell to pay.

So, I said I would and proceeded with the sad task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Many local governments have begun to legalize marijuana, with the exception it's not taken in conjunction with laxatives...

They say citizens need to shit, or get off the pot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Almost everybody has that one who got away, and I'm no exception.

I'm not sure how she broke out of the basement though.

American Exceptionalism

Noun. When every country in the world decides to do something good, *except America*

What do you call an exceptional Mexican?

What do you call an exceptional Mexican?
Nacho average guy

Did you hear about the exceptional gorilla biologist?

She was an ape lust student.

Recently found out that Stan Lee was an exceptional hockey player.

His very first practice and he already had the Stanley Cup..

Teacher, is it true that if you get married on Friday the 13th, you will be unhappy?

Of course. Why should that day be an exception?

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