East Germany Jokes

... "Hi! I'd like some bathroom tiles repaired please. When can you come?"

Tiler: "Next appointment is in 8 years."

Man: "Oh, OK, I take it."

Tiler: "Morning or Afternoon?"


(This is the type of joke that went around in communist countries like Eastern Europe. Tradesme... read more

Astonished, the American says to his host:

"In my country, gold is a very precious commodity. It is kept in Fort Knox, surrounded by an almost insurmountable concrete wall, watchtowers, mines and barbed wire, and guarded by dogs and soldiers."

"You see," replies the minister of East ... read more

A German worker gets a job in Siberia. Aware of how all mail will be read by censors, he tells his friends: "Let’s establish a code: if a letter you will get from me is written in ordinary blue ink, it is true; if it is written in red ink, it is false."

After a month, his friends get the firs... read more

I come from the West and man, it was like talking to a brick wall.

In West Germany your job determines your Marks.

In East Germany Marx determines your job.

During the times of the cold war and the iron curtain, a Pole with a bike and a bag full of sand was crossing the border to east Germany. At the border control point the guard said:

\-Sir we need to search your bag for any smuggled goods.

They went through the bag and found nothing but... read more

Mikhail Gorbachev and his wife were on the train returning to Russia following a state visit to East Germany.

After they'd been travelling a short while, his wife asked him: "Where are we now, Mikhail dear?" He put his hand out of the window and said: "We're still in Germany, dear."

... read more

A citizen orders a Trabant car. The salesman tells him to come back to pick it up in nine years. The customer asks: "Shall I come back in the morning or in the evening then?"

"You're joking, aren't you?"

"No, not at all. It's just that I need to know whether the plumber can come at... read more