Holland Jokes

Because Andrew and Tobey are more experienced parallel Parkers

He asked for a 13, but they drew a 31.

Long ago he was in the seafood industry. He had a job shucking oysters for a restaurant. Anyway, one day he sees an ad for a competition in oyster shucking, but it is a team challenge. He shows up solo, and knows he won't be let in. His confidence is low at this point, but he still signs up. The att... read more

He was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, to... read more

Imagine how hard it must be to sell someone a Dutch oven.

I can only deduce from this that there are also actors called Tom Holland With A Vengeance, Live Free or Tom Holland & A Good Day To Tom Holland.

Back in the 80s they had genetically engineered a strain of grain that ended up making musical tones when the wind blew across it.

They trade marked it as Holland Oats.

The United Nations refused to recognize the trade mark, saying "I can't go for that, no can do."

Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

[Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]

It Netherlands.

As mattresses for the soldiers

*Courtesy Anne Frank's Diary*

Its make my skin crawl

***Spoilers***
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He was blown away by it!

Hollappino

First, the Bulgarian drinks his beer, throws his glass in the air, grabs his pistol and shoots it in pieces.

"In Bulgaria, glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice."

Next, the Arabian drinks his strong liquor, throws his glass in the air, grabs his A... read more

Holland America Cruises, because they have a lot of dam ships.

Two Flemish men are in Holland and see a poster: "Shirts - 5 Euros". They turn to each other and say "Wow, that's cheap. Let's buy a dozen to resell them back in Belgium"

They enter the store and say, in their best possible Dutch: "We would like 10 shirts, please".

The man behind the c... read more

Holland is full of Holes

Do we call someone from Holland a hole?

One is a hollow cylinder, and the other a silly Hollander.

He stopped by a flock of seagulls sitting on the grass verge next to a pond trying to snap up some worms from the mud. One of the seagulls drops a worm and shouts "oh for god sake".

The man is intrigued that it can talk so he goes and asks it where it's from. "I'm from around London but I tr... read more

So if a person from Holland and a person from the Philippines got married, would their babies be called Hollapiños?

They didn´t get the permission to land so they arrive an hour late. Hollande steps out first shaking Obama´s hand and saying "I´m sorry for being late.". Second Putin steps out of the plane greeting Obama and adding "I´m sorry for being late, too.". Last one leaving the plane is Merkel and she walks... read more

I thought I Kuwait but then I Saudi Turkey, Iraq of ribs and a Canada best sauce and my Bahrain was like Oman, I Israel Hungary... so Iran to the kitchen to put Greece in the pan.

I hoped it could get Finnish quickly and because I was Russian, I didn't Czech the label and accidentally added ... read more

Because if they produced locally they would be making Holland Oats.

I don't feel so good about them recasting Tom Holland as Sandman

You know, my Holland days.

One's a hollow cylinder, and the other's a sallow Hollander.

It only appears to be affecting drivers traveling in groups through the Lincoln Holland Tunnels. The symptoms are pain in the hands and wrists.

Doctors are calling it Car Pool Tunnel syndrome.

One is a hollow cylinder and the other a silly Hollander.


Source (Cause I can't claim fame for Victorian era jokes): http://www.historytoday.com/blog/2011/10/victorian-jokes-best-19th-century-humour

Born in England, he became known for his seafaring skills at a young age. At the age of 20, he heard the legends of the greatest drinks in the world, a quest many explorers had tried, but unfortunately none could complete the trip. McGrue was talked out of it by every friend, until at 28, already an... read more

Five Dutchmen are crammed in an old Renault 4 and driving through Belgium when they get pulled over by a traffic cop.

“Good morning, I guess you know why I pulled you guys over, don’t you?”

“Well officer, I actually don’t. We couldn’t have been speeding, this car won’t even make the s... read more

A salesman for Case New Holland is making the rounds one day when he drops in on a farm he’s never been to before. As he pulls into the farmyard, a large pig in the pen by the barn catches his eye. He wanders over for a closer look and to his astonishment he sees that the pig has a wooden leg! As h... read more