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My mate went to Holland and bought me back a life size blow up dolly that gives blow jobs. I thought that's nice.

Two Lips from Amsterdam.

Is there a more Dutch sounding actor than Tom Holland?

Yes, there's Tom Hollander.

What do you call a child who was born to parents from Holland and The Phillippines?

Hollappino

Have you heard Tom Holland's reaction to the end of Infinity War? ***Spoilers***

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He was blown away by it!

There are actors called Tom Holland and Tom Hollander

I can only deduce from this that there are also actors called Tom Holland With A Vengeance, Live Free or Tom Holland & A Good Day To Tom Holland.

Why do no planes fly to holland?

Because they netherland there.

Seeing Paul Rudd and Tom Holland together really bugs me

Its make my skin crawl

Do you know why the German Wehrmacht girls are in Holland?

Believe it or not, they’re waiting for the tram.

I would like to go to Holland one day

Wooden shoe?

What do Holland and Saudi Arabia have in common?

You can legally get stoned in both.

What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland?

It Netherlands.

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

[Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]

Every time I eat eggs benedict I'm reminded of my time in the Netherlands.

You know, my Holland days.

Marriage Question

So if a person from Holland and a person from the Philippines got married, would their babies be called Hollapiños?

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A German truck driver is sitting in a Liverpool bar mouthing off about how lazy the British are.

He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days."

A drunk old scouse man can't help but hear him and mutters 'Fuck off lad, I used to pick my load up in Liverpool, drop it off in...

It's cool that they are bringing back Tobey Maguire to play Spiderman but...

I don't feel so good about them recasting Tom Holland as Sandman

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Newlywed husband wants to go to bar

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

... ...

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wi...

Doctors are reporting a new disease affecting commuters in New York.

It only appears to be affecting drivers traveling in groups through the Lincoln Holland Tunnels. The symptoms are pain in the hands and wrists.

Doctors are calling it Car Pool Tunnel syndrome.

That's some pig

A salesman for Case New Holland is making the rounds one day when he drops in on a farm he’s never been to before. As he pulls into the farmyard, a large pig in the pen by the barn catches his eye. He wanders over for a closer look and to his astonishment he sees that the pig has a wooden leg! As h...

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A Dutch anti-German joke (and the first foreign joke i ever learned!)

There's still a lot of ill feeling against the Germans in Holland. With that in mind, this is a joke a Dutch friend told me.

Walking around Amsterdam one day, a Dutchie sees a man down on his knees scooping up water from the canal with his hand to drink.

He shouts to the man (in Dutc...

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Dad told me this one

This guy went Christmas shopping for his daughter. She said she wanted a Barbie. Typical right? Well he went to the toy store and went looking for a couple Barbies. He grabbed the Malibu Barbie, Katniss Barbie and the holland Barbie. As he was leaving the isle he saw a divorce Barbie. It had a $299 ...

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