What does glue from Greenland do?

Igloos

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Greenland?

Greenland's not for sale.

How much would Greenland pay to buy America?

Nothing. It's a free country.

After a gruesome murder in Greenland the suspect is taken in for questioning by the police.

Inspector: Would you mind telling us where you were on the night from October 11th to March 5th?

Trump wants to buy Greenland

Trump wants to buy Greenland. That way when climate change removes the last bit of snow from the area, he can proclaim that he achieved what no one else in history could. He made Greenland, green again.

Why does Trump want to buy Greenland?

Because he wants to build an ICE detention center.


...I will see myself out.

"There's Greenland....

For everything else, there's MasterCard”.

Trump talking about buying Greenland is having Americans confront their biggest adversary...

...geography.

Legally speaking the Trump proposition of buying the Greenland from Denmark...

is a weird borderline-case.

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Woodcutting contest

Once upon a time, there was a woodcutting contest. The tasks included plank cutting, stacking and all the sham, everything within 1 hour.


The first contestant shows up.
The jury asks 'Where are you from?'
'I come from England.' the contestant proudly replies.
'Indeed, you...

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Two soldiers

Two soldiers were stationed at a secret base on Greenland. The only entertainment they had was a worn out deck of cards and as time went on the two soldiers became bored with the cards, so to keep them selves entertained they started doing dares to each other.

At first it started out easy lik...

Erik the Red wanted people to come and live in his new found ice covered land

so he named it Greenland.

Ice fishing

I was in Greenland a few years ago and I wanted to try ice fishing. So I went to the local sporting goods store to purchase everything I would need, an ice saw, fishing pole, line, hooks, and a bucket to hold my catch. I drove out to the ice lake, cut a hole in the ice, and got set up. I had been...

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Official outdoor temperature scale

Official outdoor temperature scale:

+10 Residents of Vilnius apartments wear sweaters and put on wool socks. The Finns plant flowers.

+5 Finns sunbathe in the sun.

+2 Italian cars don’t start.

0 Distilled water freezes.

-1 Breathing becomes visible. It's time ...

Great news everyone! March Madness 2020 is back on!

I feel really good about my bracket...







I've got bets on USA, Russia, Canada, and Greenland being in the final four survivors.

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An all inclusive ethnic joke...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, some Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spania...

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An Englishman, an Irishman,...

a Scotsman,a welshman, a Frenchman, a German, an Italian, a Swede, two Finns, a Norwegian, a Dane, a Greenlander, an Austrian, a Hungarian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Latvian, an Estonian, a Russian, a Turk, an Egyptian, a Palestinian, an Israeli, a Greek, a Macedonian, a Chinese guy, a Japanese guy,a ...

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You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

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What is cold?

What is cold?
(note: to get the temperature into Fahrenheit: multiply by 9, divide by 5, then add 32)

+10°C
The inhabitants of Helsinki (Finland) turn off their heating.
The Laps (inhabitants of Lapland) plant flowers.

+5°C
The Laps take a sun-bath (if the sun gets over the...

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