UPJOKE
mathematicsvariablealgebrarational numberpolynomialgeometryequalitycalculationcomplex numberreal numberequivalenceeconomicsquadraticlinear algebraequating

Equations Jokes

Why can't Atheist solve exponential equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers

What do Einstein's equations and his love life have in common?

They both involve relatives.

What do the Royal Family and Probability math equations have in common?

They are not important and nobody cares about them.

Did you hear about the mathematician who suffered muscle pain when writing out equations?

They had fibromyalgebra

What do you call a person who uses algebraic equations to calculate coffin sizes?

A mathemortician.

Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?

He heard it involved axes.

I may be willing to solve equations..

but graphing is where I draw the line!

What do you call a sudden urge to solve differential equations?

Calculust

How does Donald Trump keep a handle on integral equations?

He grabs them by the +c.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations

F=ma

What do you get when you cross Russian literature with balanced chemical equations?

Tolstoichiometry

My friend was arrested after carving equations into blocks of quartz

He was charged with manufacture of crystal math

I love quadratic equations so much I would give up my first born child for it

and that’s not a hyperbola

Einstein dies and goes to heaven

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to

sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a mathematician.

He made it his life’s goal to tackle one of the greatest unsolved calculus problems in history. For months he worked, filling blackboards with numbers and lines, to no avail.

After a year of struggling, he was ready to give up. He pulled out the bottle of wine that was *meant* to toast his s...

Man: Hi when do you use that calculator?

2nd Man: Oh, only on special equations.....

The difference between the engineer, the physicist, and the mathematician..

The engineer believes equations approximate reality..

The physicist believes reality approximates equations..

The mathematician has no idea what the other two are talking about.

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better.

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better. They decided to settle the argument by posing questions. The mathematician went first, and posed a complicated mathematical problem. With a great deal of effort, several books of mathematical tables and techniques,...

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician get stranded on a desert island…

Right away the engineer finds some stick and stones, which he uses to build a hammer, which he uses to break open coconuts to get some nutrients.

After five days eating plenty of coconuts, he decides to go looking for the physicist.

He finds the physicist quite thin, he clearly have no...

A chemist, an engineer and a mathematician were all asleep in a hotel when several fires broke out in their respective rooms....

The engineer woke up, saw the fire, ran into the bathroom, turned on the faucets full-blast, flooding out the entire apartment, which put out the fire, and went back to sleep.

The chemist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC (chemistry handbook), and began working o...

An escalating series of math jokes

Me: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Math is hard, and so I am.

Her: I wish you were my differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be hard and I would be doing you on my desk.

Me: Well, I'm awfully glad you're not *my* differential equations homework... because i...

Three professors are on a hunting trip

After hours of trudging through the woods, they spot their first game of the day: a deer sleeping soundly in the middle of a clearing.

The first one, a physicist, takes out his notebook and uses the equations of motion to aim his rifle at the perfect angle. Bang! His bullet whizzes past the d...

A farmer, an engineer, and a mathematician are building a fence...

The farmer, drawing from his years of farming experience, tells the others about how much wood and materials they’ll need to build the pin for his sheep to graze.

The engineer, determined to find the exact amount of materials to build the fence, draws up a series of complex equations and calc...

A Programmer's Story

As an undergraduate, I was a Double E major. I studied physics, quantum mechanics, and Maxwell’s equations! I designed circuits! Hah! But does anyone call me Pierre the Electrical Engineer? NO!

As a master’s student, I studied mathematics. I learned and proved many beautiful theorems! I broke...

A collection of math jokes

A big, muscly man enters the bar, slams the counter and says in a deep voice: I want 10 times more beer than everyone here is having.

The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude


---------------/


An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer...

Came up with this a while back, and found it today. I cleaned it up a bit:

A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer can't take it anymore and decide to commit suicide.

The biologist reviews some data and determines the impact velocity required to kill a human. He the...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.