Variable Jokes

Because they were x’s

A month later it was repossessed.

They thought they were being discrete but I heard them continuously.

You get it by itself.

Because sometimes you can find X without even knowing Y.

Sure, why not.

I'm not sure, It's always changing.

The Grim Reaper points to the scale factor and says “your time is up,” and hits him with his scythe. However, nothing happens for about 10 seconds, and then the scale factor drops dead. The variable sees this and asks “why didn’t he die immediately when you hit him?” The Grim Reaper responds “Oh, it... read more

Someday I'll be a booleanaire

No pun int. Ended

The variables aren't necessarily related.

Well, I do declare.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice

Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.

Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without fac... read more

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the aforementioned task in a timely and efficient manner within the structure in which said bulb is housed and being dependent on the following variables:

Whereas it should be taken in to account that ceiling heights may differ significantly f... read more

So a student turns in a math test and the teacher looks at the questions and says “Why’d you put variables for all the answers?”

Every single roll is an independent variable

The three see a buck a little distance away.

The physicist makes a quick, back-of-the-envelope calculation, assuming an ideal bullet and neglecting wind resistance, and then fires. The bullet lands 10 meters in front of the buck.

The engineer has been doing his own calculations, adding... read more

He responds, "I can't find the variable for the initial height of a problem I'm working on."

The other physicist said, "Y0?"

After hundreds of hours of observation at dozens of airports researchers were able to say with a high degree of confidence that TSA searches are applied randomly. The frequency of brown skinned men entering the line was highly variable and had no discernible pattern.

"Imagine you are a variable and your clothes are constants, and then you derive."

"Well, I would be naked but I would also have fewer curves."

One is a mathematician. One is a philosopher. One is a lawyer. St. Peter is there to determine if he will let them in. He tells all three men he is going to ask them a question and that if they get it correct they will enter heaven.

He pulls the mathematician into a room and asks him: “What ... read more

What does a scientist call it when they're A/B testing and they find a third variable?
An emergent C

What element do British people like early in the morning?
Strong-tea-um

Variable

A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their... read more

'I Love You' is a mathematical function where,

'I Love' - is constant and ;
'You' - is a variable..

In the hospital, she gives birth to a boy and a girl. She loses consciousness shortly after.


A few hours later, she wakes up with a doctor standing over her. She asks "Where are my children?"


The doctor replies "They're in the next room with your brother. He said you wouldn't m... read more

Our mechanic's professor's reasoning of

"Why businessmen earn more than engineers ! "

If we equate the two variables namely into the two field's general statements,

- Time is money
- Knowledge is power

We know,

- Power = Work / Time

Substitute the variab... read more

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. Businesses, however, often try other strategies. These include...
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this hor... read more