Why is getting broken up with like doing algebra?

You've got an ex, and you're trying to figure out why.

What do the Backstreet Boys and Algebra teachers have in common?

They both want you to tell them Y.

I like linear algebra

It’s straight forward

An open letter to algebra teachers.

Dear algebra teachers,

Please stop trying to make us find your x. They're not coming back.

We don't know y either.

Sincerely,

Students.

I will never date a girl who doesn’t understand algebra jokes

That’s why my x is no longer in the equation

I have a fetish for doing algebra

I’ve come to terms with that

Why did young Ewan McGregor refuse to do Algebra homework?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

"When am I ever gonna use this?" Asked the student to the algebra teacher

"Well you won't, but one of the smart kids might" he replied cheerfully

Algebra was easy for the Romans.

X was always 10.

I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trigonometry, I’ll even do statistics.

But graphing is where I draw the line!

Redneck Algebra

First base with your second cousin three times on the fourth of July.

Old relationships are a lot like algebra...

have you ever looked at your x and wondered y?

What do you call a person who uses algebraic equations to calculate coffin sizes?

A mathemortician.

Dear Algebra,

Stop making us find your x and don’t even ask y.

Relationships are like algebra.

You look at your x and wander y.

Which animal aced our Elementary Algebra exam?

The g-raph.

You may be surprised to know that Roman numerals are actually very easy to do Algebra with

X is always equal to 10.

I got in trouble in Algebra class today and had to stay after class for detention.

I didn't enjoy the aftermath.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was really excited when I learned about imaginary numbers in my Algebra class.

Finally, I could plot my sex life.

Algebra walks into a bar...

Orders a drink and sits at the bar alone. The bartender sees him sending multiple texts while constantly looking at the door.

Finally the bartender asks, "looking for someone?"

Algebra responds, "yeah, I'm trying to find my x"

Why is my algebra textbook so sad?

It has a lot of problems.

A collection of math jokes

A big, muscly man enters the bar, slams the counter and says in a deep voice: I want 10 times more beer than everyone here is having.

The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude


---------------/


An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...

My mom keeps trying to tell me the importance of Algebra:

But I still don’t see Y.

Two Math Professors in a Bar

Two professors, American and Soviet, are sitting in a bar in the middle of Moscow. They begin to have a heating conversation about levels of education in general population of their countries.

Soviet professor takes a break to go to the bathroom, and on the way there he stops their waitress a...

Why did the Atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers.

If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my life

I'd have *n* dollars

Why can’t politicians do algebra? (A series of jokes)

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They can’t solve the inequalities.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re afraid of the radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re just really stupid.

I hope they never ban algebra...

Think of the aftermath!

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When I was in high school I had to have sex with my teacher so I wouldnt fail algebra...

... homeschool was weird.

Before computers, we did Boolean algebra by hand. Everyone hated it.

It was all Boole sheet work.

Math is easy!

If there is one thing I learned in High school it’s that, relationships are like algebra, you look at your X and wonder Y.

A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor

It was a weapon of math disruption.

What does the little mermaid wear to her maths classes?

An algebra

My old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her

But frankly, I didn't want to solve for ex

The problem with math jokes

Calculus jokes are derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are too formulaic but arithmetic jokes are just basic.

The outlier is the occasional statistics pun.

Why are rappers so afraid of algebra?

Cause X gonna give it to ya

How do people in Prague solve Algebra equations?

Guess and Czech.

Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

He was caught doing lines of math!

What does a mathematical mermaid wear when she can't find her seashells?

An algebra.

Two mathematics professors are sitting in a restaurant.

The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..."

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Algebra...

Something you have to take off to play with a mermaids tits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An algebra teacher had just finished his lecture when he saw a female student...

She had stayed behind after everyone else had left, furiously working away at proof exercises. The teacher walked up to her and said, "Why are you working so hard?"

She looked up and responded: "Harry Styles will marry me if and only if I finish top of my class."

The teacher looked be...

Algebra must have trouble letting go of past relationships...

...it always wants people to find it's x.

A good 'ole story from my algebra II teacher Mr. Locke (or as some call him MLocke)

This will be entirely from the point of view of Mr. Locke; it is not actually me who said this, even though I use the word "I."


I was just opening the envelope I had received from one of my colleagues. I read the short card inside that said "please come to my house from a christmas eve p...

Four Friends

Four friends have been doing really well in their algebra class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though th...

George W. Bush visits Algeria.

As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: "You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do japanese people love algebra?

Because they love their Sin Pi

I will see myself out the door.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

why didn't Hitler pass algebra?

He didn't know the final solution.

A small collection of my favorite science jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”

 

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

My brother told me this. Feels like it belongs here.

A grammar teacher was lecturing his students on double negatives. He explains, "In some languages, take English, for example, if you were to use double negatives, it is the equivalent of a positive. It isn't considered proper grammar for that reason."

A student raises his hand. "Like in Algeb...

Jimmy approached his teacher

After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, “I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!”

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex Is Like Algebra

Mr. Johnson keeps on making me do it

The President of the United States delivered a speech in Algeria recently...

"I would first like to apologise to the fine people of Algeria that I can not address them in their own language. Unfortunately, I was never that good at algebra."

This was deemed "pretty bad" by my friends...

I'm not really good at writing stories so bear with me.

Simon, a high school student, passed his sophomore year with a 100% in Algebra 2. Thinking he was the most outstanding student ever, he went to his counselor to ask if he can skip directly to Calculus AB.

"Calculus is a very rigor...

What's the difference between algebra and women?

I never use algebra.

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