UPJOKE

mathematicspolynomialarithmeticgeometrymatrixgraphmathvectoralgorithmmultiplicationalgebraicringfieldgroupfunction

You've got an ex, and you're trying to figure out why.

They both want you to tell them Y.

It’s straight forward

"Well you won't, but one of the smart kids might" he replied cheerfully

That’s why my x is no longer in the equation

First base with your second cousin three times on the fourth of July.

I often look at my X and wonder Y.

I’ve come to terms with that

But graphing is where I draw the line!

The aftermath was really difficult.

I mean, have you ever looked at your x and wondered y?

...and we don't know Y either.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Finally, I could plot my sex life.

It has a lot of problems.

Could you replace my x

without asking y?

without asking y?

Because X was always 10

They said it was weapons of math instruction.

A mathemortician.

He didn't believe in higher powers.

I'd have *n* dollars

Orders a drink and sits at the bar alone. The bartender sees him sending multiple texts while constantly looking at the door.

Finally the bartender asks, "looking for someone?"

Algebra responds, "yeah, I'm trying to find my x"

Finally the bartender asks, "looking for someone?"

Algebra responds, "yeah, I'm trying to find my x"

I didn't enjoy the aftermath.

But I still don’t see Y.

It was all Boole sheet work.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They can’t solve the inequalities.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re afraid of the radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re just really stupid.

They can’t solve the inequalities.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re afraid of the radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re just really stupid.

Then I got drunk one night and rang my Ex to ask 'Why?'.

The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..."

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

The g-raph.

It was a weapon of math disruption.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

He didn't know the final solution.

An algebra

Two professors, American and Soviet, are sitting in a bar in the middle of Moscow. They begin to have a heating conversation about levels of education in general population of their countries.

Soviet professor takes a break to go to the bathroom, and on the way there he stops their waitress a...

Soviet professor takes a break to go to the bathroom, and on the way there he stops their waitress a...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

... homeschool was weird.

But frankly, I didn't want to solve for ex

Cause X gonna give it to ya

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Something you have to take off to play with a mermaids tits.

Think of the aftermath!

He was caught doing lines of math!

What you do to one side, you must also do to your mother

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

A big, muscly man enters the bar, slams the counter and says in a deep voice: I want 10 times more beer than everyone here is having.

The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude

---------------/

An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...

The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude

---------------/

An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...

Four friends have been doing really well in their algebra class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though th...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Me:

Don't know much about history

Don't know much biology

Don't know much about a science book

Don't know much about the French I took

But I do know that I love you

And I know that if you love me, too

What a wonderful world this would be

Don't know much about geograph...

Don't know much about history

Don't know much biology

Don't know much about a science book

Don't know much about the French I took

But I do know that I love you

And I know that if you love me, too

What a wonderful world this would be

Don't know much about geograph...

I'm really confused so far. When do we learn about Neo?

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Because they love their Sin Pi

I will see myself out the door.

I will see myself out the door.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

She had stayed behind after everyone else had left, furiously working away at proof exercises. The teacher walked up to her and said, "Why are you working so hard?"

She looked up and responded: "Harry Styles will marry me if and only if I finish top of my class."

The teacher looked be...

She looked up and responded: "Harry Styles will marry me if and only if I finish top of my class."

The teacher looked be...

If there is one thing I learned in High school it’s that, relationships are like algebra, you look at your X and wonder Y.

An algebra.

...it always wants people to find it's x.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

“For you, sir, no charge!”

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, “I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!”

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

T...

T...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Johnson keeps on making me do it

I never use algebra.

I'm not really good at writing stories so bear with me.

Simon, a high school student, passed his sophomore year with a 100% in Algebra 2. Thinking he was the most outstanding student ever, he went to his counselor to ask if he can skip directly to Calculus AB.

"Calculus is a very rigor...

Simon, a high school student, passed his sophomore year with a 100% in Algebra 2. Thinking he was the most outstanding student ever, he went to his counselor to ask if he can skip directly to Calculus AB.

"Calculus is a very rigor...

A mathematician gives his wife an algebraic expression and asks her to solve it while they were in bed.

The wife asks, "Why?"

"Because I need you to isolate the D. " Edit: Format

The wife asks, "Why?"

"Because I need you to isolate the D. " Edit: Format

"I would first like to apologise to the fine people of Algeria that I can not address them in their own language. Unfortunately, I was never that good at algebra."

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.