"When am I ever gonna use this?" Asked the student to the algebra teacher

"Well you won't, but one of the smart kids might" he replied cheerfully

My mom keeps trying to tell me the importance of Algebra:

But I still don’t see Y.

Why are Romans so good at algebra?

Because X always equals 10.

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...

But graphing is where I draw the line!

Before computers, we did Boolean algebra by hand. Everyone hated it.

It was all Boole sheet work.

Relationships are a lot like algebra.

Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was really excited when I learned about imaginary numbers in my Algebra class.

Finally, I could plot my sex life.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Sex Is Like Algebra

Mr. Johnson keeps on making me do it

What's the difference between algebra and women?

I never use algebra.

If I had a dollar for every time Algebra has actually helped me

I’d have x dollars.

Why can’t politicians do algebra? (A series of jokes)

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They can’t solve the inequalities.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re afraid of the radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re just really stupid.

Algebra walks into a bar...

Orders a drink and sits at the bar alone. The bartender sees him sending multiple texts while constantly looking at the door.

Finally the bartender asks, "looking for someone?"

Algebra responds, "yeah, I'm trying to find my x"

How do people in Prague solve Algebra equations?

Guess and Czech.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Algebra...

Something you have to take off to play with a mermaids tits.

I failed algebra class when I was in school...

I never knew Y.

Why did the Atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers.

Dear Algebra..

Stop asking us to find your X

She's gone bro.

Why did the privileged white guy fail his algebra test?

He didn't know enough about inequalities

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why do japanese people love algebra?

Because they love their Sin Pi

I will see myself out the door.

I hope they never ban algebra...

Think of the aftermath!

An algebra teacher had just finished his lecture when he saw a female student...

She had stayed behind after everyone else had left, furiously working away at proof exercises. The teacher walked up to her and said, "Why are you working so hard?"

She looked up and responded: "Harry Styles will marry me if and only if I finish top of my class."

The teacher looked be...

A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor

It was a weapon of math disruption.

Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

He was caught doing lines of math!

Why is my algebra textbook so sad?

It has a lot of problems.

Algebra must have trouble letting go of past relationships...

...it always wants people to find it's x.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Always been a family favourite.

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

A good 'ole story from my algebra II teacher Mr. Locke (or as some call him MLocke)

This will be entirely from the point of view of Mr. Locke; it is not actually me who said this, even though I use the word "I."


I was just opening the envelope I had received from one of my colleagues. I read the short card inside that said "please come to my house from a christmas eve p...

why didn't Hitler pass algebra?

He didn't know the final solution.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Weed-eater

Two guys are sitting out side of college registration comparing schedules. We'll call them Larry and David

Larry: What did you get on your schedule for this semester?

David: Oh... College algebra, Psych 101, English 101, you know.. just the basics.

Larry: I got college algebra...

What does a mathematical mermaid wear when she can't find her seashells?

An algebra.

This was deemed "pretty bad" by my friends...

I'm not really good at writing stories so bear with me.

Simon, a high school student, passed his sophomore year with a 100% in Algebra 2. Thinking he was the most outstanding student ever, he went to his counselor to ask if he can skip directly to Calculus AB.

"Calculus is a very rigor...

A small collection of my favorite science jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”

 

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

Four Friends

Four friends have been doing really well in their algebra class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though th...

My brother told me this. Feels like it belongs here.

A grammar teacher was lecturing his students on double negatives. He explains, "In some languages, take English, for example, if you were to use double negatives, it is the equivalent of a positive. It isn't considered proper grammar for that reason."

A student raises his hand. "Like in Algeb...

George W. Bush visits Algeria.

As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: "You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra..."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

26 groaners

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.



2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.



3. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still....

Two mathematics professors are sitting in a restaurant.

The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..."

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

Jimmy approached his teacher

After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, “I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!”

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

T...