Why is getting broken up with like doing algebra?

You've got an ex, and you're trying to figure out why.

Relationships are like algebra: You look at your X and wonder Y

Relationships are like algebra:


You look at your X and wonder Y

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He never recognized a higher power.

Dear algebra, stop asking us to find your x

She left you and I don’t know y.

My old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her

But frankly, I didn't want to solve for ex

Why was algebra so easy before Arabic numerals?

Because X was always 10.

Why are relationships like algebra?

Ever thought about your 'x' and ask 'y'

My mom keeps trying to tell me the importance of Algebra:

But I still don’t see Y.

Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?

Because they always knew X was 10.

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...

But graphing is where I draw the line!

Before computers, we did Boolean algebra by hand. Everyone hated it.

It was all Boole sheet work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was really excited when I learned about imaginary numbers in my Algebra class.

Finally, I could plot my sex life.

"When am I ever gonna use this?" Asked the student to the algebra teacher

"Well you won't, but one of the smart kids might" he replied cheerfully

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex Is Like Algebra

Mr. Johnson keeps on making me do it

What's the difference between algebra and women?

I never use algebra.

If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my life

I'd have *n* dollars

Algebra walks into a bar...

Orders a drink and sits at the bar alone. The bartender sees him sending multiple texts while constantly looking at the door.

Finally the bartender asks, "looking for someone?"

Algebra responds, "yeah, I'm trying to find my x"

A relationship is a lot like algebra.

You always look at your X and try to figure out Y.

I failed algebra class when I was in school...

I never knew Y.

How do people in Prague solve Algebra equations?

Guess and Czech.

Why can’t politicians do algebra? (A series of jokes)

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They can’t solve the inequalities.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re afraid of the radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re just really stupid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Algebra...

Something you have to take off to play with a mermaids tits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do japanese people love algebra?

Because they love their Sin Pi

I will see myself out the door.

I hope they never ban algebra...

Think of the aftermath!

An algebra teacher had just finished his lecture when he saw a female student...

She had stayed behind after everyone else had left, furiously working away at proof exercises. The teacher walked up to her and said, "Why are you working so hard?"

She looked up and responded: "Harry Styles will marry me if and only if I finish top of my class."

The teacher looked be...

A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor

It was a weapon of math disruption.

Why is my algebra textbook so sad?

It has a lot of problems.

Algebra must have trouble letting go of past relationships...

...it always wants people to find it's x.

A good 'ole story from my algebra II teacher Mr. Locke (or as some call him MLocke)

This will be entirely from the point of view of Mr. Locke; it is not actually me who said this, even though I use the word "I."


I was just opening the envelope I had received from one of my colleagues. I read the short card inside that said "please come to my house from a christmas eve p...

Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

He was caught doing lines of math!

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Always been a family favourite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

why didn't Hitler pass algebra?

He didn't know the final solution.

Started my Matrix Algebra class a few months ago...

I'm really confused so far. When do we learn about Neo?

What does a mathematical mermaid wear when she can't find her seashells?

An algebra.

The President of the United States delivered a speech in Algeria recently...

"I would first like to apologise to the fine people of Algeria that I can not address them in their own language. Unfortunately, I was never that good at algebra."

Recycled ones. But love them. 36 Math jokes and puns

Beginner

1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal?

Because he would have to convert.

2. Why do plants hate math?

It gives them square roots.

3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?

It was a mean thing to s...

A small collection of my favorite science jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”

 

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

This was deemed "pretty bad" by my friends...

I'm not really good at writing stories so bear with me.

Simon, a high school student, passed his sophomore year with a 100% in Algebra 2. Thinking he was the most outstanding student ever, he went to his counselor to ask if he can skip directly to Calculus AB.

"Calculus is a very rigor...

Four Friends

Four friends have been doing really well in their algebra class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though th...

My brother told me this. Feels like it belongs here.

A grammar teacher was lecturing his students on double negatives. He explains, "In some languages, take English, for example, if you were to use double negatives, it is the equivalent of a positive. It isn't considered proper grammar for that reason."

A student raises his hand. "Like in Algeb...

George W. Bush visits Algeria.

As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: "You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra..."

Jimmy approached his teacher

After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, “I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!”

Two mathematics professors are sitting in a restaurant.

The first one says: "The average person is, mathematically, an idiot. People don't know algebra, can't figure out percents, can't read a simple graph, and don't even get me started on calculus..."

The second professor disagrees, "Surely you're exaggerating. Most people know all the math they ...

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

T...

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