A blonde woman gets on a plane to Detroit and heads for a seat in first class, despite having an economy ticket...

A short while into the flight an air hostess notices she's in the wrong section of the plane and asks her to return to her allocated seat. The blond simply replied "no". Shocked and confused, the hostess insisted once more that she move, but the blond refused again.

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The h...

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A beautiful young blonde boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section.

She looks at the seats in economy and then looks into the forward cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her tickets and tells the woman that her seat is i...

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A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy gets up, moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight...

Saudi-Arabia has developed teleportation technology in order to sustain their economy when oil is depleted.

First tests in their embassies are promising, but apparently there are still issues with the part that is supposed to make one reappear.

The African Economy

Also known as, the black market.

Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world?

Because its capital is Dublin all the time!

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This is how bad the economy is:

* My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
* Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
* CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
* Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
* A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with ro...

What’s a horse’s primary concern when voting?

A stable economy.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks....

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

Donald Trump's presidency is already positively affecting the economy.

Alcohol sales have never been higher.

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

Hey cutie, are you the economy?

Because you're almost as crippling as my student loans and anxiety.

What do you call a communist economy

Stalin

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Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

Economy

My friend was helping me understand economics. He asked, what is something that would be good for the economy? I said, Chicken. He says yeah..ok, so what would be bad for the economy?

Me: If they breathed fire!

The American economy is like a tree.

All the growth goes to the top.

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If I had a dollar for every time the economy inflated...

I'd have an infinite amount of money, but i'll still be poor as fuck.

Cat ownership is like the economy

50% of cats are owned by the top 1% of cat lovers

When the economy is good, people drink. When the economy is bad, people drink. The moral?

Invest in alcohol

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."

"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #...

An old joke about the Soviet economy

Since Russia is on our minds, here's an old joke used to explain the dysfunction of the former Soviet economy.

An Italian, a Frenchman and a Soviet are waking on the beach when they find a magic lamp. They rub it, and out pops a genie who grants each of them one wish.

The Italian say...

What do my ex wife and the economy have in common?

Inflation over time

Why did the Covenant Economy collapse?

Because there was no Prophet.

In today's economy what do Arts graduates bring to the table?

Your lunch.

This economy is getting so bad, I had to pose nude for a magazine

I'm never going back to *that* newsstand!

-Emo Philips

Why would Hilary Clinton as president be good for the economy?

We would only need to pay her 78 cents on the dollar.

We should move to a herb based fuel economy

We can finally make the trains run on thyme.

Walking Economy

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm just a walking economy."

His friend replies, "What do you mean?"

"It's like this: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a de...

I told my wife that I am helping create jobs in the economy.

I left a dish in the sink and told her she now has a job to do.

Difference between your wife and the economy?

5 years later, the economy will still suck.

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This is the US Economy.

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea... It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the recept...

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Mrs. Parker and Baroness Von Hildebrand

There's this woman, let's call her Mrs. Parker. She is on a flight from Frankfurt to London. She's tired, she's had a long day. She gets on the plane, goes to her seat in economy class, window seat. She makes herself comfortable and tries to get some sleep.

Another woman comes and sits next ...

You know the economy is bad...

When you pull into the McDonald's drive thru and the person at the speaker asks...

Can you afford fries with that?

The Greek Economy

Forever A Loan!

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

What do Apple and the US economy have in common now?

No Jobs

A Funeral Director isn't the best position in this economy...

It's a dying trade

The economy is doing really bad...

Its so bad that when Bill and Hillary Clinton travel, they have to share a room.

A blonde woman boards a plane to Las Vegas

She takes a seat in first class. The flight attendant walks over and politely informs the lady that her seat is in the economy class, and that she has to move back there.

To the fight attendant’s dismay, the lady refuses. She says,“I’m going to Las Vegas, and I’m sitting here for the flight....

There was a question about Greece's economy in a German maths exam. What was it worth?

Two marks.

Two Israelis are sitting on the beach in Tel Aviv, reading.

One has got a quality newspaper, the other an antisemitic rag. "Why on earth are you reading that?" one asks. "I used to read a quality paper like you," the other sighs, "but I couldn't handle it any more – the rockets from Gaza and Hezbollah getting stronger every day and the Iranian nuclear progra...

Instant Cure

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline.
I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Why are a bunch of horses being sold better than the Greeks?

At least they have a stable economy.

The economy is so bad

I went to buy a toaster and they gave me a bank.

The drunk and the lecture

A drunk is approached by the police at 3 in the morning:

The cop asks:

-Where are you going in that state, at this time?

The drunk answers:

-I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and its lethal effects on the organism, the bad example, the nefarious consequences to ...

What's the most important thing for a horse when voting?

A stable economy

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Management goals

Dear Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy. Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE ( Retirement of Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be ...

If I had a dollar for every time older people complained about millennials...

...I could fix the economy they broke.

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Let me tell you a story of a guy named Juan.

Juan was the custodian at a local grade school. Everyone loved Juan. He was so sweet and compassionate with the kids and did a wonderful job. One day the principal came up to Juan and said:

"You know Juan, you care about this school so much, maybe you should run for the board of education"...

A boy asks his father what politics is

His father, wanting the son think critically, told him "let's make an analogy, i am the backbone family and i am the one that makes money. Therefore i am the business class. Your mother run the economy, so she is the government. The maid is the working class. We serve your interest, so you, my boy, ...

Sam walks into his boss’s office...

“Sir, I’ll be straight with you. I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”

After a few minutes of haggling, the boss finally agrees to a 5 per cent raise and Sam happily gets up to leave.

“By the way..." ...

George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview . . .

George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.


God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?”


Bush replies: “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American nation and so on …”


God is impressed by Bush and tells him: “Great, ...

Why do greeks fly buisness?

Because they dont have an economy

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The sexual position known as 69 should be called 96

With our economy, the cost of eating out has gone up