A woman seated while flying in economy and holding her baby in her arms, was startled when the man sitting behind her bent forward to say "Ma'am that is one ugly baby you have there!"

The woman, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, was so shocked she could barely retort "Well I ... I never!"

The man continued: "I'm just being honest with you ma'am, I mean, I've seen some ugly babies in my time, but yours is a real showstopper".

Quite overwhelmed, the woman called a fligh...

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

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A crashing economy can affect your sex life drastically.

I am one of the victims ...

My Neighbour's husband lost his job & is always at home now !

What’s a pirates favorite economy car?

It be the Yaris.

What’s a horse’s primary concern when voting?

A stable economy.

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A beautiful young blonde boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section.

She looks at the seats in economy and then looks into the forward cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her tickets and tells the woman that her seat is i...

A blonde woman gets on a plane to Detroit and heads for a seat in first class, despite having an economy ticket...

A short while into the flight an air hostess notices she's in the wrong section of the plane and asks her to return to her allocated seat. The blond simply replied "no". Shocked and confused, the hostess insisted once more that she move, but the blond refused again.



The hostess leave...

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A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy gets up, moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight...

Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world?

Because its capital is Dublin all the time!

Saudi-Arabia has developed teleportation technology in order to sustain their economy when oil is depleted.

First tests in their embassies are promising, but apparently there are still issues with the part that is supposed to make one reappear.

The African Economy

Also known as, the black market.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first mathematician orders a beer.


The second orders half a beer.


"I don't serve half-beers," the bartender replies.


"Excuse me?" asks mathematician #2.


The bartender remarks, "What kind of bar serves half-beers? That's ridiculous."


"Oh c'mo...

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President Trump met the Queen of England in her palace

Trump: “Your Majesty, any tips you can give me to prevent slow down in economy ?"


"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."


Trump frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are intelligent?" ...

The Economy of fiber optics

There´s a presentation on Crypto mining on stage.

Presenter: In 15 minutes minutes we have mined, an incredible 10 bucks in gold.

Audience member Shouts: There´s more gold in Fiber optics than that.

Donald Trump's presidency is already positively affecting the economy.

Alcohol sales have never been higher.

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

What do you call a communist economy

Stalin

Hey cutie, are you the economy?

Because you're almost as crippling as my student loans and anxiety.

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Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

Economy

My friend was helping me understand economics. He asked, what is something that would be good for the economy? I said, Chicken. He says yeah..ok, so what would be bad for the economy?

Me: If they breathed fire!

The American economy is like a tree.

All the growth goes to the top.

When the economy is good, people drink. When the economy is bad, people drink. The moral?

Invest in alcohol

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If I had a dollar for every time the economy inflated...

I'd have an infinite amount of money, but i'll still be poor as fuck.

Cat ownership is like the economy

50% of cats are owned by the top 1% of cat lovers

An old joke about the Soviet economy

Since Russia is on our minds, here's an old joke used to explain the dysfunction of the former Soviet economy.

An Italian, a Frenchman and a Soviet are waking on the beach when they find a magic lamp. They rub it, and out pops a genie who grants each of them one wish.

The Italian say...

This economy is getting so bad, I had to pose nude for a magazine

I'm never going back to *that* newsstand!

-Emo Philips

What do my ex wife and the economy have in common?

Inflation over time

Why would Hilary Clinton as president be good for the economy?

We would only need to pay her 78 cents on the dollar.

In today's economy what do Arts graduates bring to the table?

Your lunch.

We should move to a herb based fuel economy

We can finally make the trains run on thyme.

Why did the Covenant Economy collapse?

Because there was no Prophet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is the US Economy.

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea... It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the recept...

Difference between your wife and the economy?

5 years later, the economy will still suck.

I told my wife that I am helping create jobs in the economy.

I left a dish in the sink and told her she now has a job to do.

Mandatory Attendance

A drunkard walking on the street, is approached by the police at 3:00 AM.


The policeman asks: "Where are you going at this hour?"


The drunkard answers:
"I am going to attend a conference on alcohol abuse and the lethal effects on the body, the bad example it creates on chi...

What do Apple and the US economy have in common now?

No Jobs

You know the economy is bad...

When you pull into the McDonald's drive thru and the person at the speaker asks...

Can you afford fries with that?

The Greek Economy

Forever A Loan!

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

How will Hillary Clinton keep the economy up?

She won't, a secretary will.

The economy is doing really bad...

Its so bad that when Bill and Hillary Clinton travel, they have to share a room.

There was a question about Greece's economy in a German maths exam. What was it worth?

Two marks.

The economy is so bad

I went to buy a toaster and they gave me a bank.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mrs. Parker and Baroness Von Hildebrand

There's this woman, let's call her Mrs. Parker. She is on a flight from Frankfurt to London. She's tired, she's had a long day. She gets on the plane, goes to her seat in economy class, window seat. She makes herself comfortable and tries to get some sleep.

Another woman comes and sits next ...

Two Israelis are sitting on the beach in Tel Aviv, reading.

One has got a quality newspaper, the other an antisemitic rag. "Why on earth are you reading that?" one asks. "I used to read a quality paper like you," the other sighs, "but I couldn't handle it any more – the rockets from Gaza and Hezbollah getting stronger every day and the Iranian nuclear progra...

A blonde woman boards a plane to Las Vegas

She takes a seat in first class. The flight attendant walks over and politely informs the lady that her seat is in the economy class, and that she has to move back there.

To the fight attendant’s dismay, the lady refuses. She says,“I’m going to Las Vegas, and I’m sitting here for the flight....

Instant Cure

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline.
I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Why are a bunch of horses being sold better than the Greeks?

At least they have a stable economy.

I HAD A ROUGH YEAR

It was a tough year, but I made it !!!
But not everyone is as lucky as I am......
Economy is so bad, I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
CEO's are now playing miniatu...

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Let me tell you a story of a guy named Juan.

Juan was the custodian at a local grade school. Everyone loved Juan. He was so sweet and compassionate with the kids and did a wonderful job. One day the principal came up to Juan and said:

"You know Juan, you care about this school so much, maybe you should run for the board of education"...

If I had a dollar for every time older people complained about millennials...

...I could fix the economy they broke.

What's the most important thing for a horse when voting?

A stable economy

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