The 74+ Best Economy Jokes

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A blonde boards a plane, flying economy...

Once the plane has taken off, and the seatbelt signs have turned off, she gets up, takes her stuff, and moves a few rows forward to an unoccupied first class seat.

One of the cabin crew approaches her, and politely says "excuse me madame, but you can't sit here. This is a first class seat, an...

THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD...

How bad is it you ask?

So bad,

THAT....

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer....

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A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight...

Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world?

Because its capital is Dublin all the time!

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China's economy is like America's pornography.

Cacheless.

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Two old jews are talking in Odessa.

-What's the news?

-Have you not heard? There is a war!

-who is fighting?

-Russia says it is at war with NATO.

-How's is it going?

-70,000 Russians are dead, they have lost thousands of tanks, used up most of their missiles, and their economy is collapsing.

...

The economy in the UK...

... is getting so dire that the elderly aren't getting to enjoy their retirement.

The BBC interviewed 73 year old Charles from Windsor: "despite having a generous government pension, I've had to start working today."

What does the UK economy and dead pigs have in common?

The Tories love using both for their pump and dump schemes

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender rema...

If I had a quarter for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

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The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96.

Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

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The economy is like a bow up doll.

You inflate it as much as you can, and then fuck it until it pops!

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The economy is like sex

If you're on the bottom, you're either fucking up or getting fucked.

The economy is so bad

The economy is so bad, if the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds" you call & ask if they meant you or them.....

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Bicycles are bad for national economy

Oh Yes Mr. Reader, Bicycles are bad for national economy, even if its sounds ridiculous but it is always true that: -

Cycling is a danger to the country

Now reasons:

• He doesn't buy cars

• He doesn't take loans

• He does not insure the car

• He doesn't b...

It’s hard to find deals for prosthetics in today’s economy.

They charge me an arm and a leg for their product.

A blonde woman gets on a plane to Detroit and heads for a seat in first class, despite having an economy ticket...

A short while into the flight an air hostess notices she's in the wrong section of the plane and asks her to return to her allocated seat. The blond simply replied "no". Shocked and confused, the hostess insisted once more that she move, but the blond refused again.

The hostess leave...

what kind of apocalypse would be best for the economy?

A zombie apocalypse, because zombies are great consumers!

The Russian economy is improving drastically.

Soon even the poorest Russian will be a billionaire.

The largest condom factory in the States burned down.

President Trump was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of ...

Proof that war is great for the economy

Right before the invasion of Ukraine, I had a mere $25 in my back account. Just a week later I’m a billionaire.

I created a new gig-economy app for laundry called Laundr.

Unfortunately, the only thing anyone seems to use it for is washer-dryer hookups.

A woman seated while flying in economy and holding her baby in her arms, was startled when the man sitting behind her bent forward to say "Ma'am that is one ugly baby you have there!"

The woman, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, was so shocked she could barely retort "Well I ... I never!"

The man continued: "I'm just being honest with you ma'am, I mean, I've seen some ugly babies in my time, but yours is a real showstopper".

Quite overwhelmed, the woman called a fligh...

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Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

What do you call an old, grumpy Avatar that comes back and ruins the economy every time you send him away?

A Boomer Aang.

P.S. I'm so sorry.

Donald Trump's presidency is already positively affecting the economy.

Alcohol sales have never been higher.

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A boy from working class family hears about the crash of the economy

He comes home, runs to his dad and asks him

“Dad, they told us in school that the economy crashed, and that it’s going to affect everyone’s lifestyle. Is it going to affect ours?”

His dad replied : “Don’t worry son, it’s only going to affect the lifestyle of the rich.

You and ...

Whitehouse has a new slogan to encourage everyone to get back to work, school and boost the economy...

**!!No Lives Matter!!**

What's the difference between a three-wheeled car and the american economy?

The car crashes less

Why does the communist economy always fail?

Because they cease the means of production.

Covid-19 has damaged the Italian economy so much that they have placed a lien on the Tower of Pizza.

Sounds better verbally

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Celibacy? In this economy?

How would I make any fucking money?

The economy is so bad

ExxonMobil just laid off 25 Congressmen.

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What does American economy and pornstar in stepsis videos has in common?

Well, both are getting fucked hard and daddy is fucking clueless.

What do Apple and the US economy have in common now?

No Jobs

Flying economy..

Flight Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?
Sir: What are my choices?
Flight Stewardess: Yes or No

What do you call an economy car from the Stone age?

Priustoric

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Two economists are walking in the park.

The first economist sees a pile of dog shit and says to the other, "I'll pay you $50 to eat that dog shit." So he does and gets paid $50. Later on, the second economist sees a pile of dog shit and says to the first, "I'll pay you $50 to eat that pile of dog shit." So he does and gets paid $50.
...

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A crashing economy can affect your sex life drastically.

I am one of the victims ...

My Neighbour's husband lost his job & is always at home now !

We should move to a herb based fuel economy

We can finally make the trains run on thyme.

If you would have told me on Nov. 10 2016 that the Trump presidency would end with the economy failing and the country dying..

I would have totally believed you.

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

Saudi-Arabia has developed teleportation technology in order to sustain their economy when oil is depleted.

First tests in their embassies are promising, but apparently there are still issues with the part that is supposed to make one reappear.

Sam walks into his boss’s office.

“Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”

After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5 per cent raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.

“By the way”,...

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If I had a dollar for every time the economy inflated...

I'd have an infinite amount of money, but i'll still be poor as fuck.

When the economy is good, people drink. When the economy is bad, people drink. The moral?

Invest in alcohol

An old joke about the Soviet economy

Since Russia is on our minds, here's an old joke used to explain the dysfunction of the former Soviet economy.

An Italian, a Frenchman and a Soviet are waking on the beach when they find a magic lamp. They rub it, and out pops a genie who grants each of them one wish.

The Italian say...

Why would Hilary Clinton as president be good for the economy?

We would only need to pay her 78 cents on the dollar.

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This economy is getting so bad, I had to pose nude for a magazine

I'm never going back to *that* newsstand!

-Emo Philips

Some people say that Kosovo isn’t a country because it doesn’t have a self-sustainable economy

But then neither does Greece

The American economy is like a tree.

All the growth goes to the top.

Hey cutie, are you the economy?

Because you're almost as crippling as my student loans and anxiety.

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Simple Economics

SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISMYou hav...

Cat ownership is like the economy

50% of cats are owned by the top 1% of cat lovers

What do my ex wife and the economy have in common?

Inflation over time

The African Economy

Also known as, the black market.

Economy

My friend was helping me understand economics. He asked, what is something that would be good for the economy? I said, Chicken. He says yeah..ok, so what would be bad for the economy?

Me: If they breathed fire!

My university professor had a lecture on the economy of eating ass, and it was underwhelming.

Nothing but gross domestic product.

In today's economy what do Arts graduates bring to the table?

Your lunch.

Why did the Covenant Economy collapse?

Because there was no Prophet.

Walking Economy

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm just a walking economy."

His friend replies, "What do you mean?"

"It's like this: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a de...

Difference between your wife and the economy?

5 years later, the economy will still suck.

You know the economy is bad...

When you pull into the McDonald's drive thru and the person at the speaker asks...

Can you afford fries with that?

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

The Greek Economy

Forever A Loan!

What’s a horse’s primary concern when voting?

A stable economy.

The economy is doing really bad...

Its so bad that when Bill and Hillary Clinton travel, they have to share a room.

Due to the economy....

Due to the economy, "the 'light' at the end of the tunnel" has been turned off, to save electricity.

There was a question about Greece's economy in a German maths exam. What was it worth?

Two marks.

George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.

God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?”

Bush replies: “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American nation and so on ...”

God is impressed by Bush and tells him: “Great, come sit on the chair on my right.”

God goes to Obama and asks: “What do you believe in?”
...

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A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane.

He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressma...

The economy is so bad

I went to buy a toaster and they gave me a bank.

A Russian comes home after fishing trip

A Russian comes home after fishing trip and hears the news that Russia is at war. He asks another Russian what is going on, and he tells him:

"We are at war with NATO!"

"Oh wow, how many troops have been lost?"

"Well, we have lost 45,000 troops, almost 2000 tanks, a thousand art...

When Putin began his first term in office…

When Putin began his first term in office in 1999, he asked the then outgoing president Boris Yeltsin if he had any advice for him since he, Putin had no prior experience in politics.

Yeltsin reportedly handed him two envelopes and said, if things go bad, open the first envelope. If thing...

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