I'm getting pretty old and I can feel myself slowing down, so I made a bucket list:
1) Change the "b" to an "f"
(-Jerry Seinfeld, sort of)
Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accu...
Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the Hwy coming home.
So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out and reached in the side compartment. I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coat...
A group of Irish friends arrive on vacation in the Caribbean.
Being typical Irish, the first thing they do after checking in and dropping off their luggage is to find a nice-looking bar and get a drink. In the bar, they meet a group of attractive Nordic ladies, proceed to join tables and get to doing some serious drinking together.
A few rounds in, thin...
A Test of Faith
A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk and a Jehovah's witness, tired of the endless debates, decided to prove amongst themselves which faith was the real one, once and for all.
All three decided on the test: They must each, one after the other, jump off a tall, steep cliff, and chant the ...
Two guys are playing golf. Two women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.
One man says to his friend, “I’m gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.”
He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.
He replies, “One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. W...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A London lawyer runs a stop sign..
And gets pulled over by an Irish cop. This hotshot sure knows he's better educated and definitely smarter than some random Irish cop. He decides to prove to himself how smart he is while having some fun at the cop.
Irish cop:"License and registration, please."
"What for?", lawyer asks....