UPJOKE
socialismkarl marxcapitaladam smithprofitdemocracygovernmentcommunismproletariatlaissez-fairefree marketfascismcapitalistinvestmentfeudalism

I was going to post a joke about Capitalism...

... but 99% of you can't afford to get it.

What is the biggest problem with capitalism?

**[PLEASE DISABLE YOUR AdBlocker TO SEE THIS CONTENT]**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Capitalism and politics explained in the best way possible.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your ...

"Dad, what's capitalism?"

"Here, take this £5 note and go and get me a BLT with a large coca cola."

The boy left his house and took the only possible route, up a huge hill. He got to the counter and made the order.

"That'll be £7.34," said the assistant.

"I only have £5, mister," said the boy. The assist...

My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution

Could this be a red flag?

...and thats basically capitalism

Two man are locked in a room. There is a cake in the middle of it. The first one thinks: "I now have two options:

1. I take half of the cake and the other half is for that other guy.
2. I kill that other guy and have the cake all by myself."

He goes for the second option and kills t...

What do my girlfriend and ethical capitalism have in common?

They don't exist

To teach my kids about capitalism...

...I made them pay for housing, food, and charged them to use the bathroom.

Then if they wanted to make any money, I had them compete against each other for who could do chores for the least amount of money.

Then when they unionised, I had the neighbour's kid do chores instead and gav...

If I had a dollar for everything wrong with capitalism

... then I probably wouldn’t be complaining about capitalism.

I thought of a joke about capitalism.

But not all of you would get it.

You can make a capitalist poor and they’ll still believe in Capitalism

But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men enter a bar in the USSR. One says, "Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?" The other one says, "Because he was afraid of capitalism."

The whole bar died laughing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Capitalism: Uranus

Communism: Ouranus

I have a joke about capitalism...

Hear it for just 3 easy payments of $4.99.

Difference between capitalism and communism

Q: What's the difference between capitalism and communism?
A: Under capitalism, Man exploits Man. Under communism, it is exactly the opposite.

After the fall of the Soviet Union...

two Russian friends meet and one tells the other:

Friend 1: You know what? Everything they told us about socialism and communism was a lie.

And his friend replies,

Friend 2: You are right. And do you know what's even worse? Everything they told us about capitalism is true.

What is the difference between Capitalism and Socialism?

In a capitalist society, man exploits man and in a socialist one, it's the other way around.

What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

I hate capitalism,

so i always type my messages in lowercase. i also hate racism, and refuse to run 100 metres.

Politics in terms of cows

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes a high portion of the milk they produce to be redistributed.


COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and you have to get into a bread line for food instead.


FASCISM: You have two cows. The State will kill you ...

Ask Any Librarian, What’s The Opposite of Capitalism?

lowercasism

Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin and Boris Johnson had a near death experience together.

They met God and his closest angels, who told them that their time wasn’t up yet but that each of them could ask one question.

Biden went first. He asked "God, when will the Coronavirus pandemic end?" God made a sign to his angels. They went away and after 30 seconds they came back and whisp...

Q: What do capitalism and communism have in common

A: Starving poor people

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cows and ideologies (long)

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots...

A man went to a local shop, even though there were rumors going around that it was haunted, hadn’t heard them yet.

The shopkeeper came to him and said, “I must warn you young man, every item here comes with a price.”

The man said, “yes I know how stores work.”

The shopkeeper, now frustrated, said, “But these items might come with a price that is larger than you plan for.”

The man, also fru...

I finally understand the difference between capitalism, libertarianism, and socialism.

Capitalists hire libertarians to say socialism is bad. Socialists say capitalism is bad for free. And libertarians will say everyone else is bad as long as they get paid.

If you want to defeat capitalism......

If you want to defeat capitalism
Then you need to rally the *lowercase*

You know, capitalism can be pretty complicated

But communism? Everyone gets it

What do you call people who think capitalism should go unchecked?

Ownanists.

How do you get rid of capitalism?

Just get rid of the shift and caps lock keys.

Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?

Because he hated capitalism.

It’s not “AOC” it’s “aoc”

because she doesn’t like capitalism.

What's the difference between Communism and Capitalism?

In Communism the government owns and runs and collects everything.
In Capitalism you own and run things and the government collects it for you.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.