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I dont own this joke. But i havent forgotten about it for five years.

Son: "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?"

Father: "Sure son. What's the question?"

Son: "What is Politics?"

Father: "Well, let's take our home for an example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me "Capitalism". your mother is the administra...

What do you call people who think capitalism should go unchecked?

Ownanists.

Q: What do capitalism and communism have in common

A: Starving poor people

What do you get if you cross Islam with Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

Why did Karl Marx only write in lowercase?

Because he hated capitalism.

I just graded a social studies essay on capitalism

Dan, my brightest student, wrote a brilliant essay about how wages and labor are balanced to ensure that a vendor sells his product at a competitive price. I gave him A marks.

Emily wrote an essay that touched upon the fundamentals, but didn't really explain the concepts with the quality and ...

I finally understand the difference between capitalism, libertarianism, and socialism.

Capitalists hire libertarians to say socialism is bad. Socialists say capitalism is bad for free. And libertarians will say everyone else is bad as long as they get paid.

My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution

Could this be a red flag?

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99% of people say: "Fuck capitalism"

Capitalism says: "Fuck 99% of people"

What's the difference between Communism and Capitalism?

In Communism the government owns and runs and collects everything.
In Capitalism you own and run things and the government collects it for you.

What’s the difference between true communism and unhindered capitalism.

One spies on the people, removes privacy for the sake of the masses, and props up an establishment that serves only the lucky few.

And the other fortunately never caught on in America.

How do you get rid of capitalism?

Just get rid of the shift and caps lock keys.

You know, capitalism can be pretty complicated

But communism? Everyone gets it

What's the difference between Capitalism & Socialism?

With Capitalism, man exploits man.

And it's the opposite with Socialism.

Capitalism is dancing at the edge of the abyss.

Socialism, of course, is one step ahead of them.

If I had a dollar for everything wrong with capitalism

... then I probably wouldn’t be complaining about capitalism.

I bought a book on Capitalism but returned it.

Most of the letters were lower case.

What do my girlfriend and ethical capitalism have in common?

They don't exist

Capitalism is like the lottery.

Every body believe they will win, but only few do.

What is the difference between Capitalism and Communism?

It's the order of events,

In Capitalism the dad goes missing and then kids report,
while in Communism kids report then dad goes missing.

I have a joke about capitalism...

Hear it for just 3 easy payments of $4.99.

I only tell capitalism jokes...

...when I can make money from them.

Why do communists prefer to use only lowercase letter?

Well, because they hate capitalism.

do commies write everything in lower case?

you know beacause they hate capitalism

Capitalism is horrible

Buy my book to find out why!

What do you call it if a white person robs you?

Capitalism

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What is politics?

After arriving home from school, a young boy brings up his homework assignment to his dad. “Daddy, the teacher said to find out how politics works for class.”

The dad replies, “Politics? Well, let me explain, because politics operates in this house.”

“Really?”

“Yes, of course. S...

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What is politics?

A son asks the father: **"What is politics?"**

Then the father says, **"Well, son, that's easy.**

**Look, I'll bring the money home, so I'm the capitalist (the income).**

**Your mother manages the money, she is the government.**

**Grandpa takes care that everything here h...

Why did the communist spell his name without an upper-case letter?

Because he hated capitalism

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

why do millennials always type in lowercase?

because they reject capitalism.

I always wondered why my millennial friend always writes in lower case letters...

...apparently he is anti-capitalism.

What do we want?

Less capitalism.

When do we want it?

When it's on sale.

Politics in terms of cows

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes a high portion of the milk they produce to be redistributed.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and you have to get into a bread line for food instead.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The State will kill you if you don't...

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The Two Cow Philosophy

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neigh...

Why do Communists Type in Lowercase Letters

Because they are anti-capitalism

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Two Cows

**Edit: Just to make it clear, I am not taking credit for the joke(s). I just merely found it/them whilst browsing around and thought you guys would appreciate it/them.**



SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour



COMMUNISM

You have 2...

Burger King: Have It Your Way!

Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!

Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!

Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!

Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!

Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!

Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!

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Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of... (NSFW)

Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of: The Government, The Capitalism, The Working Class, The People, The Future and how they relate to each other.


Kevin gets home and asks his Mom about it; Mom replies: "WTF, you cannot see I'm busy here? Go and ask your dad about it, He is always just wa...

A teacher asks three of his students a question

"In your own words, what does capitalism mean?"

The American student asks "What does 'define' mean?"

The Russian student asks "What does 'capitalism' mean?"

The North Korean student asks "What does 'in your own words' mean?"

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Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have ...

Fidel Castro just passed away...

...I suppose Black Friday was too MUCH capitalism for him.

The Soviet chain factory

Once upon a time, there was a factory in the Soviet Union that made chains. When the communists took over, they abolished capitalism, and instead of selling chains the factory sent their production to the government to distribute, and were rewarded based on their production quotas set by the bureauc...

How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, we just sit in the dark complaining about capitalism.

But come the light-bulb revolution everything will be brighter.

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An American and a Soviet die and go to hell...

Satan meets them at the gate.

"Just for fun, I'ma give you two both a choice. You can either go to American or Soviet hell."

"What's the difference, trucker?" asks Arlo Freedom.
"Would they not simply be the 2010s versions of our countries?" entreats Ivan Dmitrovich.

"Not rea...

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If you have two cows,

Socialism: The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor

Communism: You give them to the government and the government gives you some milk

Fascism: You keep the cows and give the milk to the government, then the government sells you some milk

New Dealism: You shoot one ...

100 year old communism joke

A nobleman had a servant who was violently opposed to capitalism and devoted most of his free time attending meetings where communistic theories were expounded and applauded.

The nobleman was tolerant because the servant was so diligent in the performance of his duties.

Suddenly the ...

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Explaining economics to children...

A young boy asks his father to explain the economy to him. The father thinks for a while before responding, "Son, think of our household as the economy. I earn the money, so I'm capitalism.

"Your mother deals with the day-to-day running of the house, so we'll call her the government.

"...

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