UPJOKE
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A sign on a restaurant window says "If you order it and we don't have it, you instantly win one million dollars"

A man walking by notices the sign and walks in the restaurant and sits down at the table with a smirk on his face. The waiter asks what he will be having and the man says "I will have white rhinoceros stew please." The waiter comes out with a boiling hot bowl of exactly what the man ordered. The man...

A Man Walks Into A Bar With A Duffle Bag

A man walks into a bar carrying a duffle bag and places it on the bar. He says "My son just turned 21 and I would like to buy him a drink!" The bartender looks around and asks "Where's the birthday boy?" The man unzips the duffle bag and pulls the head of a 21 year old man out of it. The bartender g...

A woman noticed an old guy had his zipper down.

She pointed it out to him and he said "did ya see that tall soldier in there standing at full attention?"

She said, "No, but I saw an old veteran sitting on two duffle bags."

Your fly is open!

An army secretary was trying to be discreet with her boss when she saw his fly was open so she said “excuse me sir but your Barack’s door is open.” He replied “oh it is? Well do you see a soldier standing at attention?” She responded “No sir. I see a disable veteran sitting on two duffle bags.”

The New Secretary

Mr Robinson hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning she noticed that Mr Robinson's fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said "Mr Robinson, your barracks door is open." He was puzzled by her remark but later in the day noticed that his zipper...

Gone fishing

The husband came home from work Friday afternoon and told his wife he'll be going fishing for the weekend with his friends from work. The suspicious wife ever so kindly offered to pack for him. She went unto their closet and threw a duffle bag full of clothes and toiletries together. Having loaded u...

A Priest, Pastor & Rabbi

Three holy men find a duffle bag full of money and try and decide what to do with it.

They decide to split it three ways but know they have to give some to the church too.

They Priest decides to draw a circle on the ground and says " I will throw my share up in the air and what falls...

A man is stranded on a desert island

As he is walking along the beach, bemoaning his current situation, he kicks something in the sand. It's a magic lamp! He rubs it and a genie appears.

"I will grant you three wishes." Says the genie.

The man thinks for a moment and says, "For my first wish, I'd like a boat with a full t...

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